A broken diva
by aussiegleek18
Summary: Set in season 3, Puckleberry endgame, Pezberry Friendship and Brittana relationship. Rachel life is changed when Shelby returns & when Finn dumps her for Quinn, not a very good summary better story!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I own nothing! Okay so a new story; since I am going to be finishing a couple of my stories in the next few weeks, I thought I would write a new one so I still had a couple of stories to write. Enjoy! Rachel is a little OOC, but basically just more confident and stands up for herself better. **

**RE-UPLOADED TO FIX THE ERRORS (hopefully I correct most/all of them)**

Chapter 1

Rachel Barbra Berry was going to have it all, she would graduate at the end of this year with honours, move to New York to hopefully attend NYADA and then become a Broadway legend. Well that was the plan, but the funny thing about life is you can never 100% plan it, there will always be surprises things that you didn't want to happen will happen and your dreams can change.

"You're breaking up with me?" Rachel asked in shock, she thought Finn and she were end game but here he was, 1 week before the start of their senior year breaking up with her.

"Yeah... I think we should just be friends." Finn said sheepishly.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"How did you know?" Finn asked generally shocked.

"Because, it's always Quinn you know what Finn get out, I don't have to put up with any of this anymore!" Rachel snapped desperately holding back her tears; she never wanted to cry in front of Finn Hudson ever again.

"I'm sorry..." Finn said as he stood up.

"Leave." Rachel said bitterly, she watched her first love walk slowly out of the house she made sure he had driven away before she let herself cry. She couldn't believe this was happening again, Rachel Berry lost to Quinn Fabray again. Finn Hudson broke her heart... again.

XXXXX

Rachel's father Hiram was offered a job of a life time, he would have to travel a lot but it was his dream job, Rachel could see it in his eyes how much he wanted it; so with Rachel's blessing he took the job. It meant that Leroy, her dad, would have to travel with him and leave Rachel alone for 7 months out of a year, but there was always Skype she reminded herself, they would be back 1 week every month and a half and she wouldn't have to worry about any of the bills since her daddies would take care of that. Rachel was used to being alone, surviving by herself, she was used to it... she had to be.

XXXXX

The weekend before school started Rachel decided that when she walked into school on Monday she was going to be different, start a fresh (well as best as she could considering she wasn't starting a new school), so she went out on Saturday to for different clothes, this year she wanted the complete high school experience, after all you only have one senior year.

XXXXX

First thing Puck noticed when he walked the hallways of McKinley was that the 'golden couple' were back on. He hadn't been told shit, since you know, Finn and he weren't really best buds any more, but word got around Lima's a small town. His first thought was when he heard the news was 'is Rachel okay?' he actually went to Temple that week to try and see her so he could talk to her but she along with her father's weren't there which was weird, because according to his Ma, the Berry's were always at Temple. He was about to go up to Finn and ask him if he had seen Rachel when Kurt came running down the hall.

"Oh my god! Everyone look at Rachel, she looks hot..." Kurt said actually surprised.

"What are you talking about'..." Puck asked but cut himself off when he saw Rachel walking towards them, almost like in slow motion.

She was wearing the shortest purple dress that hugged her figure just right, showed off her long as fuck legs and tight little ass perfectly, even her tits looked amazing. Her hair was slightly wavy and she had gotten rid of her bangs, her makeup was light, except for her eye makeup which she had the smoky eye affect going, she topped the look off with black high heels.

"Damnnnnn!" Puck said loud enough for everyone to hear him causing Rachel to smile shyly, "You were hot before summer break but fuck, looking good Rachel." Puck said still checking her out.

"Thank you Noah," Rachel smiled before walking just passed him and the staring group of people from Glee Club to open her locker.

"B you're looking good!" Santana remarked, checking out Rachel, hell even Kurt and Blaine were checking out Rachel.

"Thank you Santana," Rachel smiled not used to the compliments.

"No thank you Rachel." Santana leered before linking pinkies with Brittany her girlfriend of two months and walked away.

"I wish I could claim the fame for this make over but alas it wasn't me, who?" Kurt asked looking around trying to spot the amazingly talent person who transformed Rachel Berry.

"Me." Was all Rachel offered before slamming her locker and strutting away?

XXXXX

Turns out Puck and Rachel have English, Maths, Spanish, Glee and History together this year. Their first class was Maths, in which they had to sit next to each other.

"So Rach, what brought on the new look?" Puck asked as they were waiting for the teacher.

"Wanting a change that's all Noah... do you not like it?" Rachel asked, she wondered why she wanted his approval.

"Rach, trust me I fucking like it, when you walked down the hallway, well let's just say Pucky Puck loved watching your tight body strutting down, making an entrance." Puck said waggling his eyebrows.

Rachel blushed.

"Thank you Noah, I'm glad you like it. I was kind of hoping you would." Rachel said looking at the desk before getting the courage to look Puck in the eyes, when she did she saw Puck's confusion but also his approval for what she had just said, before he could respond the new teacher walked through the door.

"Alright class, my name is Miss. Corcoran and I am your teacher for the year." Shelby said to the class, as soon as Puck and Rachel heard her speak they snapped their heads to the front of the classroom; Puck with shock and happiness on his face and Rachel, well Rachel Berry was just plain pissed.

After an awkward Maths lesson, the bell finally rang, Rachel and Puck were still frozen to their seats, and Shelby walked over to them and sat on the desk in front of them so she could have a conversation with the two teenagers.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel said bitterly.

"I-I was offered a teaching job, also I am co-director for New Directions; I couldn't knock down the offer to return to Lima." Shelby said quietly hoping Rachel would realise that the only reason she was back in town was to build a relationship with her.

"I-Is Beth with you?" Puck asked quietly.

"Of course she is Puck, she's my daughter." Shelby said, as soon as she said it she realised it was the wrong thing to say.

"Yep your one and only child." Rachel said desperately trying not to cry, she started packing her bag trying to make her escape.

"Rachel, you are my child as well." Shelby whispered.

"Really? Because when I have my children I will never abandon them, I would never break their hearts; find them to only replace them with a newer model. NEVER!" Rachel shouted the last part, tears running down her face before she fled the room, trying to escape the one person who ever truly managed to break her heart into a trillion pieces.

Shelby watched her daughter leave the room before she slowly turned her attention to Puck.

"I want you and Quinn to be a part of Beth's life. Not being able to see Rachel killed me, I never want you or Quinn to go through that." Shelby said sadly.

"Really? You would let us see her?" Puck asked shocked. He wanted to follow Rachel but he had to have this conversation with Shelby first.

"Of course. I never want Beth to resent you like, Rachel does me." Shelby said chocking back a sob.

"I'd never seek Beth out only to leave her, never compare me to you." Puck snapped before storming out of the room.

"Welcome back to Lima, Shelby." Shelby whispered to her, hating the irony.

XXXXX

That afternoon in Glee Club, Rachel ignored everyone, especially her 'mother', Glee Club was becoming one of her most hated subjects.

"Okay guys, this year we are going to win Nationals! We have Shelby with us so we are going to kick butt!" Mr Shuester told the group excitedly.

"As long as we have lots of Chocolate Thunder then hell to the yes we will win." Mercedes said happily to the room, she was expecting Rachel to rebut but was kind of shocked when she didn't.

"I'm really happy to be here, and I will do my best to make sure you guys are crowned National champions this year." Shelby told the group mostly looking at Rachel through her whole speech.

"Rachel, you have been awfully quiet. Why don't you kick the new year off with a song?" Mr Shue asked, he hated seeing any of the kids sad; but a quiet Rachel was to unfamiliar.

"Of course." Rachel said sharply standing up and standing in the middle of the stage, Mr Shue and Shelby made their way to sit in the audience with the rest of the club.

"This is to Finn." Rachel simply said, everyone rolled their eyes expecting a love song trying to get Finn back; but were shocked (everyone) and pleased (Puck and Santana) of what they heard instead.

_**Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,  
>and she's probably getting frisky...<br>right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink  
>'cause she can't shoot whiskey...<strong>_

_**Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick,  
>showing her how to shoot a combo...<strong>_

_**And he doesn't know...**_

_**That I dug my key into the side of his  
>pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,<br>carved my name into his leather seats...  
>I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,<br>slashed a hole in all 4 tires...**_

_**Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**_

_**Right now, she's probably up singing some  
>white-trash version of Shania karaoke...<br>Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"  
>and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,<br>Right now, he's probably dabbing on  
>3 dollars' worth of that bathroom polo...<br>And he don't know...**_

_**That I dug my key into the side of his  
>pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,<br>carved my name into his leather seats,  
>I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,<br>slashed a hole in all 4 tires...**_

_**Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**_

_**I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,  
>'cause the next time that he cheats...<strong>_

_**Oh, you know it won't be on me!**_

_**No...Not on me  
>'Cause I dug my key into the side of his<br>pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
>carved my name into his leather seats...<br>I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
>slashed a hole in all 4 tires...<strong>_

_**Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**_

_**Oh... Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...**_

_**Oh... before he cheats...**_

"If I were you Finn I'd check your truck." Rachel smirked at him and strutted out of the choir room.

**A/N Hope you guys like it :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I own nothing! Re-uploaded to fix the errors! **

Chapter 2

Rachel went straight home after storming out of the choir room, she just wanted to go home and talk to her daddies. Rachel was in such a rush to get home that she didn't realise until she was about to unlock her front door, that her parents weren't there. Rachel was a very independent woman, anybody could tell you that, so naturally she thought she could handle living by herself, but with each day even though it hadn't even been a week since she began living by herself, it was becoming harder and harder. She went straight to her bedroom as soon as she stepped foot inside of her house, she just wanted to forget all about today so she stripped down and went into her bathroom that was attached to her bedroom and turned on her shower. While she was waiting for the water to heat up, she noticed her razor sitting on the basin, she picked it up and stared at it intently, she had heard people saying that this helped with their stresses, with their pain and Rachel realised singing about all of her feelings was no longer working, so with a shaky hand she snapped the plastic that was protecting the blade so that it was exposing the blade. Being completely naked, Rachel had open choice on which part of her body she wanted to slice; she selected her upper thighs, nobody would see them but her... the perfect choice. Rachel made a small cut as high up on her thigh as she could; she winced at the pain to start off with but continued, she couldn't help but stare at her blood as it rushed to the surface on the cut, so she did two more before putting the razor back on the basin and walked into the shower to clean herself up, both from the day's work and the blood currently running down her leg.

XXXXX

After her shower, Rachel was dressed in a tight fitting tank top and long PJ pants, she didn't want to view her cuts, she already felt guilty for harming her perfect skin; but at the same time, she felt relieved; like a weight had been lifted from her. She started to cook dinner, another night to herself she thought sadly; and then for some reason she thought of Shelby. She wondered if she and Beth had already eaten, whether Beth was asleep or giving Shelby a hard time by staying awake. She wondered if Shelby was thinking about her too... Rachel shook her head violently,

"Stop thinking about her Rachel, she doesn't care about you!" Rachel reminded herself, and then turned her attentions back onto cooking.

XXXXX

Puck had no idea why he was at Shelby's house, no idea, actually that was a lie, and he wanted to see his daughter for the first time since she was born. He knocked on the door and waited and after a moment Shelby opened the door with a shocked look, (no wonder, she definitely wasn't expecting him), but she let him inside.

"How do you know where I live?" Shelby asked.

"I ah, have friends in the police force." Puck replied.

"Noah it's late, what are you doing here?" Shelby asked once she saw Puck staring at the cot where Beth was sleeping.

"Here I brought this… I haven't done any drugs or drunk any alcohol, except beer, since you saw me today, I just really wanted to see her." Puck said taking his eyes off Shelby and back on the crib where Beth started to stir.

Beth began crying and Shelby went into full on mother mode, she picked Beth up and began to comfort her; once she had stopped crying she turned around and smiled lightly at Puck.

"Say hi Beth." Shelby whispered to her daughter, Beth's head looked up and she looked Puck straight in the eye.

"Hi Beth, I'm Noah." Puck smiled at his daughter and reached out for her little hand which she let him hold onto.

"She likes you. She usually freezes up with strangers." Shelby said quietly.

"Yeah." Puck responded still looking at Beth.

"I brought her something." Puck said suddenly, getting his wallet out and showing Beth and Shelby a picture of a massive yellow star.

"I thought since you and Rach like them so much, she would too you know?" Puck said with a grin on his face.

"It's perfect." Shelby smiled at Puck and so did Beth and watched him as he placed it on the fridge.

After about an hour at Shelby's house, Puck realised that he better be heading home soon; even though he really didn't want to leave.

"She's perfect." Puck said more to himself than anyone else.

"She certainly is." Shelby easily agreed. There was a pause. "H-How's Rachel?" Shelby asked once she placed Beth back in her crib.

"Um, I don't really know, haven't seen her since Glee." Puck said honestly.

"Do you think I have a chance, to get her back? To become her friend?" Shelby asked with tears in her eyes, she didn't want Rachel to hate her, she didn't know if she could handle that.

"Maybe, Rachel forgives everyone. She forgave me and I threw a slushie in her face every day for a year. J-Just, give her time I guess; you really hurt her." Puck said before walking out of the house after he said a quick goodbye.

XXXXX

The next day at school, Rachel was not expecting Santana and Brittany to be waiting for her at her locker.

"Sup B?" Santana said with an actually smile on her face.

"N-Nothing, why?" Rachel asked a little concerned.

"Don't panic, we come in peace, actually we want you to join the Cheerios." Santana said with a grin.

"Why me? What about Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"We don't want Quinn in the squad this year, we want you instead. You can dance and you are tiny so you would make an awesome flyer plus if we ever need your vocals that will give us an extra edge in the competition." Santana replied.

"And we want to be your friend Rachel, after yesterday, we realised that you are cool." Brittany smiled excitedly, she had always liked Rachel but now Santana did as well so Rachel could hang out with them.

"Um, when are auditions." Rachel said getting a little more excited, she only really had one true friend and that was Kurt but he would always be better friends with Mercedes and the two girls just didn't get along.

"_Try__ outs _are tomorrow after school." Santana smiled.

"Well then I will be there!" Rachel beamed,

"Awesome." Santana said and continued to wait for Rachel to fix her books up in her locker.

"Aren't you going to go now?" Rachel asked thinking that they had got what they had wanted and should be leaving.

"Britt told you, you're our friend now; and I'm actually nice to my friends so shut up, get your shit and we will walk you to class." Santana told Rachel sternly but playfully.

"Sure." Rachel said and hurried up with her things.

**A/N Hope you guys like this chap!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I own nothing! ****Re-uploaded to fix the errors!**

Chapter 3

Rachel made the Cheerios and she couldn't really believe how 'nice' Coach Sylvester was being. Rachel did the routine that Santana suggested perfectly and Coach didn't even criticise her performance just told Santana and Brittany to help find a uniform in Rachel's size. Santana told her that since her sister had passed away she had toned down the mean a little bit but not to get too comfortable, practices were still a bitch. Brittany suggested that Rachel wear her uniform to Glee practice that was straight after the Cheerios audition and she looked to Santana who agreed.

"Show it off, be proud." Santana shrugged and proceeded to put Rachel's hair into a tight ponytail.

To say everyone was surprised when Rachel walked into the choir room was an understatement.

"Hot damn Berry!" Puck said loudly looking Rachel up and down, she looked smoking in the Cheerios uniform.

"Thank you Noah." Rachel said shyly.

"You told me that the Cheerios weren't recruiting this year!" Quinn screeched.

"Yeah, I lied." Santana shrugged off.

"We wanted Rachel to join. She's our friend now!" Brittany added in innocently.

"You have got to be kidding me! Why would you want RuPaul on the team?" Quinn demanded an answer.

"My name is Rachel, Quinn; Ray-Chel say it with me now." Rachel said patronisingly.

"Just because you are in the Cheerios now doesn't make you better than me." Quinn said smugly.

"Actually, according to the rules that _you_ made up when you were Captain Quinn, it does." Santana said with a smug smile. "Rachel is higher than you in the grand scheme of things here at McKinley." Santana smirked.

"Why did she have to go and get hot after I dumped her?" Finn said out loud instead of in his head where it was meant to be kept.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Quinn yelled before storming out of the choir room, with an apologising Finn right behind her.

Shelby and Mr Shue finally made their presence known by making everyone sit down, Santana and Brittany sat up at the back and made Rachel sit next to Puck who definitely didn't mind.

"Mr Shue and I have agreed that we need to focus all of our attentions on winning Nationals this year. Since this is the senior year for many of you, we want you guys to go out with a bang and Nationals is again in New York, so we want to leave New York National champions." Shelby announced to the room.

"Which means more time to figure out set lists and more time spent on our dancing; with hopefully the help of Mike and Brittany?" Mr Shue asked the two students.

"Of course, we love dancing so we will help wherever we can." Brittany smiled and Mike nodded in agreement.

"Great. Now our strongest singer is Rachel..." Shelby began but Mercedes cut her off.

"No you have me." Mercedes said strongly.

"Whatever land you are living in Mercedes I'd get your head back into our world cuz Berry is hands down the best singer in this room, even better than Miss Corcoran; wouldn't you agree Shelby?" Santana looked up at the teacher.

"Yes, she is amazing." Shelby said lovingly at Rachel.

"Sucking up doesn't look good on you Shelby." Rachel snapped before looking away from her, glancing down at her feet.

"You okay?" Puck whispered into Rachel's ear while Mr Shue kept talking.

"Fine." Rachel said even though she was fighting back tears which Puck could see, he just interlaced their hands and she squeezed back letting him know she appreciated it.

"Now Miss Corcoran, would you like to sing something? Like a little audition to remind the kids of your voice?" Mr Shue asked with a smile.

"I'd love too." Shelby smiled. "She knows who this is for." Shelby said to the room, not looking at Rachel, because everyone knew she would be singing to her.

_**Kiss the day goodbye**__**  
><strong>__**the sweetness and the sorrow.**__**  
><strong>__**Wish me luck, the same to you.**__**  
><strong>__**But I can't regret**__**  
><strong>__**what I did for love, what I did for love.**_

_****__**Look my eyes are dry.**__**  
><strong>__**The gift was ours to borrow.**__**  
><strong>__**It's as if we always knew, **__**  
><strong>__**and I won't forget what I did for love, **__**  
><strong>__**what I did for love.**_

_**Gone, **__**  
><strong>__**Love is never gone.**__**  
><strong>__**As we travel on, **__**  
><strong>__**Love's what we'll remember.**_

_**Kiss the day goodbye**__**  
><strong>__**And point me toward tomorrow**__**  
><strong>__**Oh we did what we had to do**__**  
><strong>__**Ohhhh**_

_**Once again can't regret**__**  
><strong>__**What I did for love [3x]**__**  
><strong>__**Love is never gone**__**  
><strong>__**As we travel on**__**  
><strong>__**Love's what we'll remember**_

_**Kiss the day goodbye**__**  
><strong>__**And point me t'ward tomorrow.**__**  
><strong>__**We did what we had to do.**_

_****__**Won't forget, can't regret**__**  
><strong>__**what I did for**__**  
><strong>__**Love**__**  
><strong>__**What I did for**__**  
><strong>__**Love**__**  
><strong>__**What I did for...**__**  
><strong>__**Love**_

"Stop lying to me!" Rachel said through her tears. "You replaced me, plain and simple. You may have given me up for love but you proved that you didn't love me when you went and replaced me with a newer model. How is Beth? Is she everything you ever wanted? Is she better than me? Please tell me she was worth breaking my heart... please!" Rachel pleaded as she cried.

"Rachel I love you. You are my daughter and the only reason why I came back to Lima was to build a relationship with you. So I could say that I have two amazing daughters and I know I have made mistakes but I love you baby girl so much." Shelby said through her tears.

"Just. Leave. Me. Alone." Rachel said through gritted teeth and left the room in a crying mess.

**A/N Hope you guys like both chapters :) please R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I own nothing!** **Re-uploaded to fix the errors!**

Chapter 4

Puck rushed after Rachel, Santana was about to go but he told her it would be better if he went. He found her crying in the girl's bathroom that wasn't too far from the choir room.

"Rach are you okay?" Puck asked seeing the girl sitting in the corner, her back up against the wall with her mascara running down her face.

"I'm okay Noah." Rachel said trying to fix up her makeup.

"Rach, I know you're not okay, you're fucking crying." Puck said sitting next to her, he grabbed her hand and placed their interlaced hands on his knee.

"Why can't she just leave me alone Noah? She has Beth why can't that be enough for her?" Rachel asked.

Puck thought for a bit before he answered.

"Because she loves you. Yeah she fucked up but she wants you to be a part of her life. She made a mistake Rachel; everyone does it... even you." Puck said seriously.

"Would you ever seek out Beth only to leave her and replace her?" Rachel asked bitterly.

"No," Puck said kind of annoyed that she would even ask that.

"That's what I thought." Rachel snapped before standing up and leaving the bathroom.

XXXXX

Rachel walked into her house exhausted, another exhausting day; she put her bag on the couch and walked over to the phone to see that she had one voice message on the answering machine.

"Hello pumpkin, it's us, just checking up on our little star. How's school? We miss you so much baby girl. Call us back when you can. Love you." Her daddies said in union before the message ended. Rachel just deleted the message.

XXXXX

The next day at school, Rachel walked down the halls of McKinley in between Santana and Brittany, all three in their Cheerios uniforms. The school was basically empty yesterday afternoon so not many people knew that Rachel Berry was on the Cheerios but that didn't last long. Rachel stopped at her locker while Brittany and Santana kept walking to do the same thing; they agreed that they would meet up for lunch since they didn't share any classes together this year.

"Hey." Puck said leaning up against the row of lockers watching Rachel changed over her books.

"Hello Noah;" Rachel replied softly.

"Look I'm sorry about yesterday," Puck said at the same time Rachel went to talk.

"It's fine Noah, and I am terribly sorry to ask you whether you would do such a horrid thing to Beth, you must understand that I don't dislike Beth, she's a baby!" Rachel said before adding softly, "She's apart of you. I just hate that Shelby replaced me, it didn't matter who it was done with." Rachel said she wanted Puck to know that she didn't dislike Beth.

"I know you don't hate my kid Rachel, you aren't that type of person. You're awesome with kids. My sister fucking loves you." Puck smirked.

"And I really love her," Rachel said, she had become quite close to Sarah while they dated in their sophomore year; she always saw Sarah and Noah's mother Maria at temple so she kept up her relationship with Sarah that way.

"Speaking of Sarah, you wanna help me babysit tonight?" Puck said.

"I would love to Noah; I haven't seen her in a while." Rachel admitted.

"Yeah about that, how come you and your dads aren't at temple anymore?" Puck asked.

"Oh daddy got offered a job and he took it, he has to travel for a lot of the year and dad went with him. It's just me at home." Rachel said realising that she hadn't told anyone at school about her currently living situation yet.

"So you are all by yourself it that massive house?" Puck asked shocked, when Rachel nodded he flipped out, "Fuck that Rach, you're tiny! You couldn't defend yourself if shit went down, stay with us?" Puck asked but was more really telling Rachel.

"Noah I don't want to be a bother." Rachel said closing her locker.

"Bullshit, Ma fucking loves you and so does Sarah it would be all sweet." Puck reassured her; the idea of Rachel all alone really bothered him.

Rachel sighed seeing that Noah wasn't going to give up with a battle,

"I'll think about it." Rachel offered, "Now come on we are late for History Noah." Rachel said grabbing his arm, both ignoring the sparks that they felt as their skin touched and dragged him to history.

XXXXX

Rachel went home and quickly packed some clothes for the next day as Puck told her that she was at least spending the night that night over at his house before she walked to the Puckerman's. By the time she arrived Sarah was waiting for her out the front and sprinted to Rachel when she saw her.

"Rachel! Noah said you are staying the night is that true?" Sarah asked with so much excitement.

"Yes Sarah I am, and I brought over those DVD's you wanted me to bring last time." Rachel smiled at the younger girl.

"Yes, I told Noah that you would." Sarah smiled then rushed back inside pulling Rachel along behind her.

After dinner, Rachel put on a movie for Sarah to watch while she and Puck did the dishes.

"She really loves you Noah." Rachel said fondly as she dried the plate that Puck had just handed her.

"Thanks she's alright when she's not pissing me off." Puck said and laughed when Rachel hit him, it was funny to him how she thought she could hurt him.

"Bully." Rachel said jokingly and poked her tongue out.

"Not any more Rach you know that." Puck said kind of seriously, he never wanted Rachel to think of him as a bully ever again.

"I know that Noah I was only joking." Rachel reassured him.

Puck grunted his response and turned away from her to continue to wash the dishes.

XXXXX

When Sarah went to bed, Rachel was watching TV, she had already had her shower and she was waiting for Puck to get out so they could watch TV together. When he emerged into the lounge room Rachel swallowed hard, he was just in baggy pants and had no top on was he trying to kill her!

"Liking the view Rach?" Puck asked with the cocky smirk on his face as he watched Rachel checking him out.

"You're attractive Noah that isn't old news." Rachel said before looking back at the television.

Puck sat down next to Rachel and it was his turn to swallow, she was wearing the most sexiest nightly he had ever fucking seen, instant boner. Rachel noticed him staring and turned her head to face him.

"Liking the view Noah?" Rachel asked with a giggle.

"Fuck yes it's not old news that your attractive." Puck said looking Rachel up and down.

"You must have seen better." Rachel said self-consciously.

Puck rolled his eyes and moved closer to Rachel,

"You are fucking beautiful Rachel, honest." Puck said sincerely.

"Thank you Noah." Rachel said and shuttered when he pushed a piece of hair out of her face and lightly kissed her on the lips.

"Night Rachel." Puck whispered against her lips before walking into his bedroom, if he didn't leave he didn't know if he could stop himself and he didn't want her first time to be in his lounge room while he sister slept upstairs.

**A/N Hope you like. R&R please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I own nothing! ****Re-uploaded to fix the errors!**

Chapter 5

Rachel woke up around 5am that morning, remembering where she was and what had happened before bed, she slowly got up and grabbed her things and left the Puckerman house she did not want to face Puck any time soon.

XXXXX

"Why the fuck did you bail this morning?" Puck asked Rachel in their maths class while they waited for Shelby to arrive to start teaching.

"I left something at my house, I had to get it." Rachel said distractedly.

"Bullshit you had all of your stuff when you arrived at mine. Was this about the kiss?" Puck asked.

"Don't flatter yourself Noah." Rachel snapped and then turned her attention to Shelby as she walked inside of the classroom.

Rachel wasn't in maths class for long; she could only handle looking at Shelby for so long and Puck's constant stare; so after five minutes of constant torture she just stood up and left the classroom ignoring Puck and Shelby's cries for her to come back.

XXXXX

Rachel had never skipped class before so she headed to the bleachers, just as she was about to sit down; four girls arrived out of nowhere, she knew their group everyone did, 'The Skanks'.

"Fuck off this is our area." One of the girls barked at Rachel.

"Your name on it?" Rachel retorted.

"Nobody speaks to us like that, especially a little gleek." The blonde snapped at Rachel getting closer to Rachel until she was in her face.

"I just did... what are you going to do about it?" Rachel asked, in that moment not caring if she got into her first fight with these girls.

Just as the blonde girl raised her fist to punch Rachel, the red hair girl, their leader Lola, stopped her.

"Don't Becca, she seems alright. What's your name?" Lola asked.

"Rachel. Rachel Berry."

"Aren't you a glee loser, why are you wearing a Cheerios uniform?" Becca asked with a scowl on her face.

"New, only joined a few days ago." Rachel replied shortly.

Lola smirked at Rachel before offering her a joint,

"Want?" Lola asked.

Rachel stared at the joint, she had never done drugs before, but she shouldn't turn down new experience and it's not like she had any parental supervision. So she took it, and by her next class she was stoned off her head.

XXXXX

When Rachel walked into history class, Puck noticed that something was off with her, she looked out of it... she looked, stoned?

"Berry are you high?" Puck asked in disbelief.

"Mayybbeee..." Rachel smiled, she loved this feeling, and she didn't want it to disappear.

"Rachel!" Puck said concerned, "What did you take?"

"Lola. She gave me a joint Noah." Rachel said before bursting out in a giggling fit, she felt happy and she hadn't felt like this for a while... since her daddies left her.

"Come on Rach, to the nurse's office for you." Puck said dragging Rachel up and out of the room before their teacher arrived.

"But Noah I'm fine!" Rachel said as Puck pulled her down the hallway towards the nurse's office.

"No you aren't Rachel. Fuck I thought you knew better than this!" Puck said turning around, stopping their movements and facing Rachel. "You worry so much about your vocal cords doing fucking pot isn't gonna help them. Plus, you don't want to go down that path Rachel, you're worth more than that." Puck said wondering why the fuck Rachel was even doing hanging around 'The Skanks'.

"Noah, I feel fine, just leave me alone!" Rachel yelled getting annoyed; she yanked her arm around from Puck and stormed out of the high school itself.

XXXXX

Glee Club came that afternoon and everyone was there besides Rachel, Rachel was at home, in her bathroom, cutting herself for the second time. Noah was right, after the high wore off Rachel felt like crap and felt guilty for even doing pot in the first place, so she turned to the razor, it made her feel better and only she would know she was using it.

XXXXX

"Where the fuck were you and why weren't you in Glee yesterday?" Santana asked Rachel after Cheerio's practice.

"I was busy, I'm sorry it won't happen again." Rachel lied easily; she figured if she acted normal people would suspect anything was wrong.

"Well Mercedes got your solo for next week's performance at assembly." Santana told her with a frown, "That solo was yours!"

"All well there is always the next one and I'm sure Mercedes will do a good job." Rachel replied before walking out of the locker room and headed to her locker to retrieve her books.

"What's wrong with Rachie?" Brittany asked worriedly.

"I don't know Brit, but we are gonna find out." Santana said, she didn't know what was going on with Rachel, but since she was her friend now she wasn't going to let Rachel go through whatever she was going through alone.

XXXXX

"What's up with Rachel lately?" Santana asked Puck during lunch.

"I'm not sure, but something is going on." Puck admitted, "Why what makes you think something is up?" Puck asked.

"Well she ditched Glee yesterday, red fucking flag right there and she was really weird at practice and when I told her that Mercedes got her solo for next week, she said okay... Rachel Berry said okay, the girl who tried to take over Glee Club last year when Shue was sick." Santana said.

"Yeah, this whole Shelby thing has really put her through a spin." Puck offered, maybe that was why she was acting weird.

"True, god I hate Shelby; who the fuck does that?" Santana asked getting angry just thinking about what their teacher has done to her friend.

XXXXX

"Sorry to interrupt, but can I speak to Rachel Berry please?" Shelby asked during Rachel's last class of the day.

"Of course." The teacher said and told Rachel to get her things and leave with Miss Corcoran.

"What?" Rachel asked once she was sitting in Shelby's office.

"Why did you leave this morning? Class wasn't over and I didn't dismiss you." Shelby asked in teacher mode.

"I was bored, so I left... it's this new thing I'm working on, seems to work for _you_." Rachel snapped not looking Shelby in the eyes.

"Rachel, I know I have made mistakes but I am your teacher, and you will respect me as one." Shelby said.

"I don't have to respect you. I don't have to like you, hell I don't even have to look at you. I hate you Shelby I really truly do, so if we are done?" Rachel said glaring at Shelby intensely.

"Rachel..." Shelby said in a soft tone but before she could continue, Rachel just walked out of the room.

**A/N Hope you guys like. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I own nothing! So I really want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing means a lot to me. ****Re-uploaded to fix the errors!**

Chapter 6

Rachel sat on her bed, it was Sunday and tomorrow she was not looking forward to attending school, she didn't want to see Shelby, she hated seeing Shelby. As she sat on her bed, she stared at her now pinkish scars on her upper thigh. She ran her finger along one of them; she liked the look on her skin. This was something that only she knew about, something that helped her through everything and gave her some control in her messed up life. Walking into the bathroom, Rachel took the razor that she had been using and cut a few more deep cuts onto her other thigh, once she was done; she grabbed a cloth and pressed it against her cuts to stop the bleeding; once it had stopped she through the cloth in the bin and went back into her room to try and sleep, she would need it.

XXXXX

Monday morning after Cheerios practice, Rachel passed right by her maths class where Shelby was her teacher and went to the bleachers to meet Lola. Rachel didn't like the other girls that formed 'the skanks', but she and Lola formed an unlikely friendship, so Lola agreed that every time Rachel had maths she would meet her at the bleachers.

"Sup Rach," Lola greeted with a smile.

"I'm okay, you?" Rachel asked and took the cigarette that Lola offered her.

"As good as I can be in Lima." Lola said honestly.

"Yep, which isn't very good," Rachel said blankly taking a drag of her smoke.

"So there is this party this weekend, you in?" Lola asked.

"Ah, yeah; why the hell not," Rachel smirked.

After Rachel had finished her smoke, Lola and she talked about the party that was happening this weekend. Rachel found out that it was an open house; lots of drugs, lots of alcohol and lots of boys. Rachel couldn't wait; she couldn't wait just to forget.

XXXXX

"Okay guys, Mr Shue couldn't make today's rehearsal so it's just me, now Mercedes you are singing the solo for Thursday's performance at assembly, and then we are doing a group number; does anyone have any ideas for the group number?" Shelby asked New Directions.

When nobody had any suggestions, Shelby looked around for Rachel only to find that she wasn't there.

"Where's Rachel?" Shelby asked.

Everyone looked around the room, realises that Rachel wasn't there; all muttered their 'I don't knows'.

"Here I am sorry I'm late." Rachel said as she walked casually into the choir room.

"Where were you?" Shelby asked her troubled daughter.

"None of your business Miss Corcoran," Rachel said with fake sweetness.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Brittany asked scared for her new friend.

"Of course Brit, I'm fine sweetie. Promise." Rachel assured Brittany.

"Such a freaking drama queen." Quinn muttered, but loud enough for everyone to hear her.

"I'm sorry Quinnie, what was that?" Rachel said getting annoyed.

"I said you are such a drama queen. Just because Finn dumped you now you are trying to get attention other ways; it's getting really old." Quinn snapped at the brunette.

"You know what Quinn; I've had enough of your shit. You act like you are little miss perfect but you are nothing but a liar and cheater! Let's look at you history, sophomore year, cheated on Finn and got knocked up by his 'best friend' Noah Puckerman, junior year cheated on poor Sammy and Senior year the 'other woman' in Finn and I's relationship. I may be a drama queen but I will take that any day over whatever the hell you are meant to be!" Rachel yelled, getting more and angrier as she went.

"Wow calm down Rachel. Nobody asked for your opinion." Mercedes snapped at Rachel.

Rachel death stared Mercedes, "And as you so often says Mercedes, hell to the no!" Rachel yelled.

"Enough!" Shelby yelled as Mercedes was about to say something else. Glee rehearsal was disastrous, Quinn was sobbing, Rachel looked like she was about to cry and everyone else either looked angry or uncomfortable.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Puck asked shocked at what just happened.

"That was something that has been building for a while Puck." Rachel snapped.

"Hold on what have I done to deserve being called Puck?" Puck asked.

Rachel just stared at Puck before combing her fingers through her hair,

"I'm sorry Noah, you haven't done anything." Rachel said softly.

Puck nodded and gestured for Rachel to take the empty seat next to him, which she did, she also rested her hand on his shoulder.

Shelby seeing that today wasn't going to go as planned announced that the lesson was over and excused everyone for the day. Everyone left but Puck and Rachel who just sat in the front row.

"Rach," Puck whispered to Rachel and that's all it took to set Rachel off and she started crying. Puck just held her against him and let her cry, he whispered soft words in her ear and stroked her arm with his fingers trying to comfort her as best as he could.

"Noah, I-I d-don't k-know what I-I'm doing." Rachel sobbed, she climbed onto Noah's lap and buried her head against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck, and Puck wrapped his arms around her waist and gently rocked her until she stopped crying.

Once Rachel was all cried out, she slowly raised her head to look Noah in the eyes; she held his stare for a few minutes before she lightly kissed him on the lips.

"Thank you Noah." Rachel whispered against his lips before she stood up and left the choir room.

**A/N I hope you guys like this story because I love writing it! I will probably upload another chapter tonight seeing as how much I love to write it. Any ideas you guys would love to see in this story I would love to hear about them so please leave them in a review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I own nothing! I still don't know who Rachel is going to be living with yet so you have a few more chapters to tell me who you would like to see her with :)**

Chapter 7

"Oi Puckerman, there's this kickass party on tonight wanna come?" Peter one of Puck's football buddies asked him that Friday.

"Yeah I'm in; got nothing else to do." Puck replied before high fiving Peter and walked to class. Puck didn't know that this was the same party that Rachel was going to be attending with Lola.

XXXXX

"Bitch are you ready yet?" Lola asked bored, she was sitting in Rachel's house waiting for Rachel to get ready.

"Done!" Rachel yelled from the top of the stairs and walked down to the lounge room to meet Lola.

"Looking sexy Rach!" Lola said admiring her friend; Rachel was dressed in a short, tight, mini black dress with red high heels to bring some colour. Her makeup was smoky and to put it simply she looked hot.

"Thanks Lo, you look great also." Rachel complimented her friend, Rachel turned on the house alarm and linked arms with Lola and left for the night.

XXXXX

When Puck arrived at the party it was packed. The house was cramped full of horny teenagers, somewhere currently making out in front of everyone; others where just drinking and somewhere doing drugs in plain sight for everyone to see. Puck didn't normally go to these kinds of parties, he liked his with people he knew; drinking some beers, contrary to what people believe; Puck had never done drugs, he never touched the shit and he certainly didn't wanna start now.

Puck was about to leave, he had only been there for about half an hour but he'd had enough; just as he was heading for the door he heard her voice... Rachel's voice.

"It tastes like PINK!" Rachel yelled causing all of the guys to cheer around her, Puck looked back and quickly went into action mode; her was Rachel, a girl who had only drunk once before (that he knew of), at a rave house party... that shit doesn't end well.

"Berry, what the fuck are you doing?" Puck asked helping Rachel down from the coffee table that she was standing on.

"I'm drinking Noah, I'm being normal!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Let's get you home. You have had way too much Rach." Puck said pulling her towards the front door.

"But Noah, this young man said he had a present for me in one of the rooms upstairs, I want my present Noah!" Rachel pouted.

Puck stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face the guys who had the 'present' to show Rachel.

"You touch her again, talk to her ever, even fucking look at her I will bash the living fuck out of you and chop off you 'present' so no other girl will ever see it again, got it?" Puck said sternly through gritted teeth, the guy nodded and walked away; Puck turned back to Rachel and flung her over his shoulder, making sure she wasn't flashing anyone and walked out to his truck.

"Get in the truck Berry." Puck said annoyed, why the fuck was she here, did she know she could have gotten seriously hurt.

"But Noah, my present." Rachel whined not hearing the conversation that took place moments before.

Puck sighed, and after the fifth time of Rachel winging about her present he snapped.

"Do you want to know what his present was? He was going to fuck you, whether you wanted it or fucking not; so get the fuck in the truck so I can take you the fuck home!" Puck snapped at Rachel.

Rachel paled, "Oh." Was all she managed to say before nodding her head and silently getting into Puck's truck, she was quiet the rest of the way home; which unnerved Puck to no end?

XXXXX

Once Puck had parked in her driveway, he turned over to find Rachel had pasted out. Sighing he got out of the truck and opened her door, picking her up; he found the spare key which was 'hidden' under the mat, he was so moving that before he left, and took Rachel into her room. When he had placed Rachel on her bed, her dress had risen up, exposing her thighs; Puck double took at what he saw. Deep; red raw cuts all along Rachel's upper thigh,

_Was she cutting herself? _Puck thought.

And then it clicked, Rachel, she needed help; she was hurting in more ways than anyone knew, that's why she started dressing differently, changed her attitude and fucking doing drugs and skipping classes. Puck didn't know why she was hurting, but after seeing those cuts on her thigh he vowed right then and there that he was going to help Rachel no matter what.

**A/N Sorry short chapter. R&R please**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I own nothing! So I know who Rachel will be living with :) **

Chapter 8

Rachel woke up the next morning with a massive hangover, running to the bathroom; Rachel threw up, she definitely didn't like this part of drinking. After she had thrown everything up that was in her stomach, she changed into a pair of mini shorts and a singlet, something that she wore to bed regularly, she knew she wouldn't be leaving the house so she may as well be in her PJ's all day and not the uncomfortable black dress she wore the night before. As she made her way down the stairs, she heard a noise; she peeked her head around the corner and saw a shirtless Puck cooking breakfast in her kitchen, why was Puck here?

"Morning Rach." Puck said she wasn't being very quiet and he heard her vomiting in the bathroom.

"Noah, w-what are you doing here?" Rachel asked worriedly, did they sleep together?

"I took you home, you were completely trashed last night, and I ended up crashing her to make sure you where okay in the morning." Puck said.

"Well I'm fine thank you Noah, you can leave now." Rachel said making her way into the kitchen.

There was a pause between the two.

"What's with the cuts Rachel?" Puck asked seriously, turning off the fry pan that had pancakes in it.

"W-what?" Rachel asked in a panic, "What cuts?" Rachel asked trying to play dumb.

"Don't deny it Rachel. I saw them, all of them. Deep as fuck on your thighs; why?" Puck asked moving closer to Rachel who currently looked terrified.

"I don't know what you are talking about Noah." Rachel said sternly, standing up straighter, trying to make herself appear taller.

"Bullshit!" Puck yelled and went right over to Rachel lifting her shorts up so her cuts were exposed. "These Rachel, what the fuck are they?" Puck said placing his hand gently on her cuts, and looked up to find Rachel was crying.

"Why do you care?" Rachel said in a tiny voice.

"Because Rachel, you're my friend; fuck you are more than a friend, you know that. I never want to see you hurting." Puck said standing up and taking Rachel's face in his hands and kissed her temple softly. "Let me help you." Puck begged.

Rachel sighed before removing his hands,

"Leave Puck, now." Rachel said icily.

"But Rach-" Puck began but was cut off.

"Just go home Noah." Rachel said defeated and went back into her room and looked the door, she cried harder when she heard Puck leaving through the front door. Needless to say she cut more that day.

XXXXX

School on Monday came and went in a blur to Rachel, Puck was waiting at her locker and made sure she attended every single one of her classes; even when Rachel tried to avoid him; he would always come out of nowhere. Like when she was about to do a joint with Lola before Glee; he walked right over to her, grabbed the joint from her hand, stepped on it and dragged her into the choir room. He was keeping his promise to himself but he wasn't going to stop until he knew she would be 100% taken cared off; hence why he and Shelby where on the phone to Rachel's fathers.

XXXXX

By Tuesday afternoon; all Rachel wanted to do was go home, have a hot shower and possibly cut again, is it bad that she was thinking about when the next time she could do it- she asked herself. But that plan was voided when Shelby and Puck cornered her in the choir room after everyone had left.

"Rachel we need to talk to you." Shelby said seriously.

"Okay, what do you want?" Rachel said warily.

"You will be living with me from now on, Noah has told me about what you are doing to yourself and I think you need adult supervision; so you are staying with me." Shelby said.

"Um how about no. My dad's wouldn't allow it." Rachel said not wanting to stay with Shelby and Beth, the perfect family that she had no place in.

"We called them. They agree." Puck informed Rachel.

"H-how can you do this to me! I thought we were friends Puck!" Rachel screamed at Puck.

"I'm doing this because I care about you Rachel, I don't want to see you throwing your life away, or worse; I don't wanna see you dead!" Puck cried.

"Good luck trying to get me to stay with you and your precious Beth, fuck you both." Rachel snapped and ran from the choir room as fast as she could.

**A/N Another short chapter got some family issues so I don't know when I will update next...**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I own nothing! Longer chapter since the last two where so short! **

Chapter 9

Rachel went straight back to her place after Puck and Shelby told her about the new living arrangements. The only place that has ever been her home is the house she was currently standing in; Shelby gave up every single one of her rights to try and form a relationship with Rachel the day she adopted Beth and left Rachel alone and hurt. Not surprisingly there were 2 voice messages already on her answering machine when she got home.

"_Baby girl, Shelby and Noah rang us and we know that you haven't been coping as well as you say you have. We feel that you should stay with Shelby so you will have some adult supervision. We love you baby girl and even though we know you aren't happy about this, this is for your best interests. Call us ASAP please." _Her daddies voices said at basically the same time.

"No what would help me is if one of you came back to be with me!" Rachel screamed at the answering machine, before the newest message played.

"_Rachel, Puck and I will be over to get you at 5; we will give you a few hours to wrap your head around the new living situation." _Shelby's voice floated into the room.

"Why?" Rachel whispered to herself, why they couldn't just leave her alone. She didn't want to be the plus one in her home life as well; she knew that's what she would be. She knew that when she sees Shelby being a mother to Beth that it will kill her, make her think about all the times as a little girl when she needed a mother; when she got her first crush, (2nd grade), her first period, (13 years old), and to teach her how to dress nicely, everything she didn't have but Beth would, and Shelby wasn't even Beth's biological mother.

Knowing that she had zero choice in the matter; Rachel went upstairs and began to pack up her things, she packed all of her clothes; her bed spread and pillows, her shoes, laptop, her music and her DVD, photo albums and anything else she could collect. Looking at the clock, she had half an hour before they would be here to pick her up and take her to her new 'home', so Rachel got out of her Cheerios uniform and went and took a shower, making sure she cut herself nice and deep; venting all of her sadness and anger out on her one last time, because she didn't know when she would be able to cut again.

XXXXX

Puck, Shelby and Beth arrived at Rachel's at 5, Puck unlocked the door and let Shelby who was carrying Beth inside the house first.

"Rach we are here." Puck called, when he looked in the lounge room he saw all of Rachel's stuff packed neatly in the corner waiting to be loading into the car, but no Rachel.

"Rachel." Shelby yelled out.

Rachel rolled her eyes, she heard them as soon as they pulled into the driveway; she fixed herself up, she was wearing a yellow sun dress and walked down the stairs.

"I'm coming calm down." Rachel snapped as she made her way to the floor.

"Have you got everything?" Shelby asked ignoring her attitude.

"Yep." Rachel said glancing a little at Beth who was staring intently at Rachel.

Puck loaded all of her things into Shelby's car and with that they were off.

XXXXX

"So your room is next to Beth's, mine is at the other end of the house." Shelby told Rachel pointing out her new bedroom; which Rachel had to admit was nicer than her old one; but it still wasn't her bedroom.

"Thanks." Rachel said tightly.

"Mommy." Beth cooed, giggling up at Shelby, Rachel's face harden when she saw how Shelby reacted to Beth, cooing and calling her sweet names.

"I see I'm interrupting a mother/daughter moment I'll be in my room." Rachel said through gritted teeth.

"Rachel." Shelby said desperately, at the same time Puck walked in with the last of Rachel's things and placed them on the lounge room floor.

"You know what Shelby, I might have to live with you; but that doesn't mean you get to be my mother again! I might be here but that doesn't mean I will listen to you or even love you. I can make a promise that everything you ask or want me to do I will fight you on 100% of the time. People call me a forgiving person, but I can **never** forgive you. You are my mother; mothers don't abandon their children." Rachel yelled, "They just don't." Rachel whispered the last part with tears in her eyes and walked into her new room, slamming the door; causing Beth to cry.

XXXXX

Rachel woke up the next morning to the sound of a crying Beth; she groaned when she realised that Shelby couldn't hear Beth's cries and slowly got out of her bed and went into her 'sister's' room. As soon as Rachel opened the door, Beth stopped crying and stood up in her crib looking at her older sister, before she started smiling. Rachel couldn't help but smile back at the tiny baby, she looked like Quinn but she had Noah's eyes, his strong, piercing green eyes.

"Morning Beth." Rachel said quietly, she didn't really know how to talk to her. "My name's Rachel, I-I guess I'm your older sister, or something like that." Rachel whispered before picking up Beth. Beth clung to Rachel and nested her head into the crook of Rachel shoulder and started to coo.

"Baby girl." Rachel whispered into Beth's ear, "Are you hungry?" Rachel asked not expecting an answer back.

"Yep!" Beth said happily, Rachel, who was still carrying Beth; made her way to the kitchen and prepared her some peanut butter on toast, she cut it up into small sections and placed Beth in her high chair. After giving Beth her food, Rachel poured her a cup of juice which Beth loved and helped the little girl eat her breakfast. This was the first time since her dads had left that Rachel actually smiled, and it wasn't a fake one.

XXXXX

"So you're living with Shelby how's that going?" Santana asked Rachel as they waited for the rest of the Glee Club and Mr Shue to arrive to practice.

"Hard, but the best thing about it is actually Beth. She makes me happy." Rachel said fondly.

Santana smiled and interlaced her hands with Rachel, Puck had told her about the cuts, and she promised that she wouldn't confront Rachel about them just keep an eye out on her and make sure she doesn't do it while she was at school.

"Sectionals." Mr Shue announced as he and Shelby walked into the choir room.

"With me on lead." Mercedes smiled, she nailed her performance at assembly a few weeks ago, and why shouldn't she be the lead for Sectionals.

"Actually, we both agreed that Rachel would take the lead." Mr Shue told Mercedes.

"What?!" Mercedes snapped jumping up, "Hell to the no, I'm brilliant, I deserve the lead!" Mercedes argued.

"I agree with M, Man Hands is past her prime." Quinn snapped, defending Mercedes.

"Back off tubbers, Rachel has more talent in her pinkie then both of you do in your whole body!" Santana said defending her friend.

"Preach." Artie said agreeing with Santana.

"Rachel would you like the solo?" Shelby asked before Rachel could respond, Quinn beat her to it.

"I get it now, Rachel will get everything because Shelby is here and she is trying to make up for being a 'cash whore' who sold her baby." Quinn sneered.

"Beth's fine thanks for asking." Rachel snapped at Beth.

Quinn looked at Rachel before standing up and slapped her in front of the glee club; this had been the excuse Rachel was looking for, Rachel punched Quinn straight in the nose pushed her to the ground. Santana and Shelby separated the girls, by the end of the fight, Rachel had a busted lip and Quinn had a black eye.

"Figgin's office, now!" Mr Shue yelled.

Xxxxx

"The verdict?" Puck asked as Rachel and Quinn left the principal's office; he, Santana and Brittany where waiting for Rachel, Finn and Mercedes was waiting for Quinn.

"1 week suspension and we both can't compete at Sectionals." Rachel said angrily.

"Your entire fault RuPaul." Quinn snapped.

"Fuck off Fabray, stop acting little miss innocent and actual accept the fact that you fucked up. It wasn't the first time and it sure as hell won't be the last time!" Rachel yelled annoyed at Quinn.

Quinn rolled her eyes and walked away with Mercedes and Finn in tow.

"So what are you gonna do B?" Santana asked, knowing how much this would be hurting her friend.

"I'm fine, now if you excuse me, Lola and I have plans." Rachel said side stepping the trio.

"Lola as in head of 'the skanks' Lola?" Pick asked in disbelief, "I thought you weren't going to hang out with her anymore?"

"No I said I wouldn't hang around those guys that tried the funny business at the party, Lola is my friend; she gets me." Rachel said defending her friendship with the red head.

"Rachel, you aren't going anywhere you're grounded." Shelby said exiting Figgin's office just in time to stop Rachel for leaving.

Rachel laughed,

"How many times do I have to tell you, you are not my mother; you cannot tell me what to do, not now not ever." Rachel snapped.

"Rachel Berry, you will listen to me this instant! You will come with me, we will get Beth from day care and then you are going straight to your room until I say you can come out!" Shelby yelled.

"Bite Me." Rachel mocked and turned around just in time to see Lola coming around the corner.

"Just in time Rach. New shipment is in." Lola smirked.

"I'm in." Rachel said, but not before turning around and smirking at Puck, Santana, Brittany and Shelby.

XXXXX

When Rachel arrived home she was drunk and high off weed, Puck and Shelby where waiting up for her. It was nearly 1am by the time she stumbled through the door.

"What are you guys doing up?" Rachel yelled even though she thought she was whispering.

"Waiting for your drunken ass Berry. Come on let's get you to bed." Puck said before picking her up because she could barely walk.

"Noah, put me down I'm fine." Rachel assured them.

"Rachel, come on sweetie get to bed." Shelby said softly; Rachel death stared the older woman before making sure Puck had put her down on the ground and made her way to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

Shelby sighed, "Thank you for being her Noah, but maybe you should go home now, and I've got it from here." Shelby assured Puck.

"Call me if you need anything." Puck reminded before saying a soft goodbye to Rachel and Beth and left.

Rachel made her way into her bed; Shelby sat on the side of her daughter's bed and begun to stroke her hair lovingly. Shelby was surprised when Rachel leaned into her touch, Shelby had longed for this kind of relationship; and even though she knew that the only reason why Rachel was letting her guard down was because she was sick; Shelby couldn't help but get her hopes up about it.

"I love you Rachel. So much." Shelby whispered and kissed Rachel on the temple. Taking the opportunity to see her cuts, Shelby lifted her shorts up and gasped when she saw the wounds on her daughter. She held back her tears and she traced the cuts with her finger gently avoiding the ones that were very recent, and just concentrating on the scars.

"Please, stop hurting yourself baby girl." Shelby whispered as tears fell down her cheek and she placed Rachel's shorts down to cover her cuts back up again. Shelby ran her finger down Rachel's check before she began to sing, she hoped she would get a second shot at her dream of getting to know her daughter.

_**I dreamed a dream in days gone by**__**  
><strong>__**When hope was high and life worth living**__**  
><strong>__**I dreamed that love would never die**__**  
><strong>__**I dreamed that God would be forgiving**_

_**Then I was young and unafraid**__**  
><strong>__**And dreams were made and used and wasted**__**  
><strong>__**There was no ransom to be paid**__**  
><strong>__**No song unsung, no wine untasted ..**_

_**But the tigers come at night**__**  
><strong>__**With their voices soft as thunder**__**  
><strong>__**As they tear your hope apart**__**  
><strong>__**As they turn your dream to shame**_

_**And still I dreamed he'd come to me**__**  
><strong>__**That we would live the years together**__**  
><strong>__**But there are dreams that cannot be**__**  
><strong>__**And there are storms we cannot weather**_

_**I had a dream my life would be**__**  
><strong>__**So different from this hell I'm living**__**  
><strong>__**So different now from what it seems**__**  
><strong>__**Now life has killed the dream I dreamed**_

**A/N Hope you guys like. How would you like the story to go from here?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N I own nothing! Last chapter till after Christmas most likely, hope you like.**

Chapter 10

Rachel Berry was grounded for 3 weeks, after the little stint she pulled with Quinn and then disobeying Shelby, (which she thinks was totally justified), Rachel isn't allowed to leave the house unless for school; but since she has been suspended for one week, Shelby took Beth out of day care for that week so Rachel wouldn't sneak out and do drugs. Rachel would never put Beth in harm's way and Shelby knew that. So, instead of being at school; Rachel was spending her Monday morning tending to a very fussy two years old.

"Beth, come on baby girl; eat this it's yummy." Rachel said as she tried to get Beth to eat her yoghurt.

"No!" Beth screamed and knocked the container full of strawberry yoghurt flying, covering not only the ground but Rachel as well.

"Oh my god!" Rachel began to yell before she looked at the little girl who was scared that she was about to yelled out. "Remember Rachel she's only two." Rachel reminded herself before taking a few deep breaths and smiling at Beth. "How about we have a bath?" Rachel suggested and smiled when Beth clapped her hands in agreement. After cleaning up the area and taking off her top, leaving Rachel in her bra and shorts; Rachel undressed Beth and got the bath set up for her. After playing in there for 20 minutes, Rachel got Beth out and dressed Beth and made sure to put on another top; before she sat Beth in her bouncer and turned on the telly for her.

After Rachel had put Beth down for her afternoon nap there was a knock on the door.

"Noah, what are you doing here aren't you meant to be at school?" Rachel asked.

"I was just checking on things." Puck said honestly.

"Checking to make sure I'm not doing drugs in front of Beth, please Noah gives me some credit." Rachel said a little upset that he would think that lowly of her.

"Rachel…" Puck began but was cut off.

"She's fine Noah, promise. You can go check on her she's sleeping." Rachel spat before turning around and walking into the lounge room and sat back on the couch.

"I wasn't just checking on her, I was checking on you to; I'm worried about you Rachel." Puck said closing the front door and sitting next to her on the couch.

"I'm fine Puck, I'm a big girl." Rachel said dryly.

"Don't do that." Puck said frustrated.

"Do what?" Rachel asked confused.

"Don't call me Puck; I'm Noah to you." Puck said whispering the last part.

Rachel sighed before turning to face him properly.

"I'm sorry Noah. I guess I just hate being stuck here. It's so boring and what pisses me off more is that Shelby gets to punish me and she isn't even my mother!" Rachel said getting more distressed.

"She's trying." Puck offered.

Rachel snorted, "Would you listen to your dad if he came back into your life?" Rachel said staring at Puck.

"Fuck no!" Puck said without thinking,

"Exactly," Rachel whispered.

Puck and Rachel just looked at each other for a while before Rachel moved closer to Noah.

"Thank you." Rachel whispered, "You're the only one that really cares about me." Rachel said weakly.

"Not true. Shelby does, San and Brit care but you're welcome." Puck said placing his hand on her thigh gently.

"Is it weird how badly I want to kiss you right now?" Rachel asked out loud staring at Puck's lips.

"Nope," Puck whispered before he bent down and claimed her lips with his in a passionate kiss. Puck laid Rachel down on the couch, he needed to kiss her so badly, he loved her whether he wanted to admit it to himself just yet but it was true. Just as he slid his hand and cupped her boob through her shirt, Beth started crying breaking the two teenagers apart.

"Cock blocked by my own kid." Puck laughed playfully.

"Maybe she just wants to see you." Rachel said as she re-adjusted her top.

"I'll go get her." Puck said and walked into Beth's room, when he returned he loved it how Beth's whole face lite up when she saw Rachel and demanded he put her down so she could crawl over Rachel.

"She loves you." Puck said simply.

"Yeah, I love her too." Rachel replied just as honestly both of them staring at the little girl that was unbeknownst to her saving Rachel Berry's life.

**A/N Short chapter! But I hope you have a happy and SAFE Christmas. I will post before New Year's most likely.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I own nothing! Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate!**

Chapter 11

Sectionals were today and Rachel was currently sitting in the audience holding Beth waiting for New Directions to go onto stage. Puck and Rachel hadn't really spoken about their kiss that would of lead to them having sex if Beth didn't wake up at the right or wrong time, however you wanna look at it. Rachel though has decided that for her and Noah to get involved would be very selfish of her, she is going through a rough time and she doesn't want to drag Puck down along with her and if they were to date and they broke up; it would make it hard for him to see Beth and Rachel wanted nothing but the best for that little girl; and that meant that Puck being a constant in her life.

"You okay?" Santana asked her friend, she went out to check on Rachel before they went on.

"Yep I'm fine." Rachel said lying through her teeth.

"Don't lie to me Rach, you're not but you will be, I promise." Santana said quietly.

Rachel looked at Santana with some confusion in her eyes, but that went away when Santana glanced at her thighs where Rachel cuts herself.

"I haven't done anything in three days." Rachel says honestly.

"Good." Santana smiles softly and kisses Rachel on the cheek and then walked away to get ready for their performance.

New Directions won sectionals.

XXXXX

"Party at mine tonight bitches!" Kurt exclaims as everyone gets off the bus after sectionals.

Rachel was about to make her way to follow Kurt back to his and Finn's place when Shelby lightly grabbed her arm.

"Grounded." Shelby reminded Rachel.

Sighing and not wanting to cause a scene in the parking lot, Rachel agreed and waved goodbye to everyone and followed Shelby back to the car.

XXXXX

Once Beth and Shelby were sound asleep, Rachel grabbed the bottle of vodka that she hid under her bed and began to drink it, once it was half empty; Rachel went into her bathroom that was attached to her bedroom and cut herself before returning to her bedroom and passed out on her bed.

XXXXX

The next day, Rachel wasn't hung over, her body was getting used to the alcohol and she was one of these people who didn't get hangovers which she was grateful for. Rachel ignored Shelby that morning and walked herself to school, she did feel calmer after cutting herself last night, but she was also disappointed in herself; but she pushed that thought back. After a Cheerios practice, Rachel went to all her classes, but still met up with Lola during lunch and smoked the joint that was slowly becoming a necessary part of her day before joining Santana, Puck and Brittany to have lunch with them. When glee club arrived she shocked everyone by announcing that she was going to sing a song; the song she sung upset more people then made them happy.

_We stay moving around, solo__  
><span>__Ask us where you at, we don't know__  
><span>__And don't care (don't care)__  
><span>__All we know is we was at home cause you left us there__  
><span>__You got your boys and got gone__  
><span>__And left us all alone__  
><span>__Now she in the club with a freaky dress on__  
><span>__Cats don't want her to keep that dress on__  
><span>__Trying to get enough drinks in her system__  
><span>__Take it to the tele and make her a victim__Patron on brain, ball play you in the face__  
><span>__They shake the spot, she's just another cas__e_

_[Chorus]_

_Easy for a good girl to go bad__  
><span>__And once we gone (gone)__  
><span>__Best believe we've gone forever__  
><span>__Don't be the reason__  
><span>__Don't be the reason__  
><span>__You better learn how to treat us right__  
><span>__'Cause once a good girl goes bad__  
><span>__We die forever_

_He's staying with a flock of them, oh, yeah__  
><span>__Got a girl at home but he don't care__  
><span>__Won't care (won't care)__  
><span>__All he'll do is keep me at home, won't let me go nowhere__  
><span>__He thinks because I'm at home I won't be getting it on__  
><span>__And now I'm finding numbers in the jacket pockets__  
><span>__Tricks calling the house, nonstop its__  
><span>__Getting out of control__  
><span>__Finally I can't take no more__  
><span>__He finds a letter on the stairs, saying this is the end__  
><span>__I packed my bag and left with your best friend_

_[Chorus]_

_We stay moving around, solo__  
><span>__Ask us where you at, we don't know__  
><span>__And don't care (don't care)__  
><span>__All we know is we was at home cause you left us there__  
><span>__You got your boys and got gone__  
><span>__And left us all alone_

_[Chorus]_

_We're gone forever__  
><span>__We're gone forever_

When Rachel was finished singing she stood in the middle of the room, looking into her eyes, the glee club could see that they were showing no emotion, they almost looked dead. Rachel's eyes were covered in heavy eye makeup… she had changed so much and everyone, even Quinn and Mercedes, wanted the old Rachel to come back for her to get better.

"It's not fun being the bad girl Rachel." Santana told her friend softly.

"Or the mean girl." Quinn added speaking from experience.

"I'm not doing this because it's fun, I'm doing this because this is who I am now." Rachel said.

"Rachel..." Shelby began.

"God, can you ever stop speaking? You aren't my mother, you're Beth's so just concentrate on her and don't fuck her up like you did to me." Rachel yelled, she was so angry with Shelby, she hated living with her; seeing her face every day.

"Don't speak to her like that." Puck whispered/shouted.

"Leave. Me. Alone. Puck," Rachel bit out before storming out of the room.

XXXXX

Rachel arrived back to her home; yes her home, not Shelby's place; she stormed into _her_ room and slammed the door even though nobody was home and made her way into her bathroom. Getting her razor blade out of her draw in her bathroom; she broke the plastic around it and slid down the wall until she was sitting on the ground. She was over cutting her legs so she lifted her Cheerios uniform up until her stomach was exposed and began to cut from her belly button to her hips; she was crying throughout the whole thing, her vision blocked by her hot tears falling freely down her cheek; when she was finished she threw the razor away and screamed her lungs out. She hated being like this; she hated being broken, she hated feeling weak. Getting up on shaky feet, Rachel ran her bath and once the water was the right temperature, she sat down and watched the clear water quickly turn red from her blood. Rachel spent that night, sitting in a bath full of cold water, crying her eyes out.

XXXXX

She arrived at school the next day with Shelby, Santana, Brittany and Puck extremely worried about her.

"Where were you?" Puck demanded.

"Home," Rachel replied.

"No you weren't, you didn't come home last night." Shelby said,

"I was _home_. At the place I have lived my whole life before you ripped be away from it." Rachel yelled.

Santana dragged Rachel into an empty classroom with Puck right behind her, Shelby lead Brittany away as she asked Puck and Santana to see if Rachel had cut and they all agreed not to let Brittany see that.

"What?" Rachel barked.

"Strip," Santana said lowly.

"What, why?" Rachel exclaimed.

"We wanna see your skin Rachel," Puck explained and it clicked to Rachel who shook her head violently.

"No." Rachel whispered tears already forming in her eyes.

"Where?" Puck and Santana asked in union, both knowing that she had relapsed.

While crying, Rachel shakily lifted her top and cried louder when she saw the tears in both of her friend's eyes, her cuts were deep and still bright red, some still bleeding slightly, all along her stomach.

"Rachel, you can't keep doing this. You are going to kill yourself!" Santana said while she cried looking at her now best friend.

After a moment of nothing; Rachel looked Santana and Puck in the eyes,

"Maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing."

And then left the classroom to go and find Lola.

**A/N Sorry for the depressing writing but things have to get worse before they get better... R&R**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I own nothing!**

Chapter 12

"Rachel, after talking to your mother and friends I have concluded that you have major depression. Now I have two forms of treatment for you, 1) you will be placed on antidepressants and 2) you will see a therapist." Dr Johnson told Rachel who was sitting next to Shelby.

"She's not my mother." Rachel said out of everything that was the only thing she heard.

"My apologies, your guardian." Dr Johnson corrected himself.

"When will she start her sessions and medication?" Shelby asked all she wanted was for Rachel to get better.

"Her medication will start today and I have booked her to a therapy session for next week." Dr Johnson said as he typed up her prescription.

"Thank you." Shelby said sincerely.

"My pleasure. Good luck Rachel, if you need anything call or book an appointment with me." Dr Johnson assured her.

Rachel nodded quietly and stood up and followed Shelby out of the Doctor's office.

XXXXX

Rachel had been on her antidepressants for three days, she was told that it would take up to two weeks for them to kick in and she might feel sick for the first couple of days while her body got used to them. Monday was hard for Rachel, it had been five days since she had cut herself, Shelby has removed every single sharp object in their house and her friends wouldn't let her go anywhere by herself... which was driving Rachel insane. Lola, not knowing that her friend had been cutting herself, had agreed that she wouldn't supply Rachel any more drugs or alcohol and would keep her distance; because no matter what people thought, Lola actually cared for Rachel and didn't want to see her hurting. The pills were making her sleepy, she had trouble staying awake during Cheerios practice, but since Coach Sylvester knew what Rachel was going through wasn't as hard on her like she would have been if she didn't know. Glee Club arrived and Puck, Santana and Brittany wanted to sing to Rachel, to remind her of how great she was and that they would always be there for her.

"For you Rachie, we love you!" Brittany smiled meaning every word she said.

**Puck:**

**Oh, why you look so sad?****  
><strong>**Tears are in your eyes****  
><strong>**Come on and come to me now****  
><strong>**Don't be ashamed to cry****  
><strong>**Let me see you through****  
><strong>**'cause I've seen the dark side too****  
><strong>**When the night falls on you****  
><strong>**You don't know what to do****  
><strong>**Nothing you confess****  
><strong>**Could make me love you less**

_All:_  
><em>I'll stand by you<em>_  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Won't let nobody hurt you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you_

Brittany:  
>So if you're mad, get mad<span><br>Don't hold it all inside  
><span>Come on and talk to me now 

**Santana:**

**Hey, what you got to hide?****  
><strong>**I get angry too****  
><strong>**Well I'm a lot like you****  
><strong>**When you're standing at the crossroads****  
><strong>**And don't know which path to choose****  
><strong>**Let me come along****  
><strong>**'cause even if you're wrong**

_All:_

_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Won't let nobody hurt you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Take me in, into your darkest hour__  
><em>_And I'll never desert you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you_

**Puck:**

**And when...****  
><strong>**When the night falls on you, baby****  
><strong>**You're feeling all alone****  
><strong>**You won't be on your own**

_All:_

_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Won't let nobody hurt you___

_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Take me in, into your darkest hour__  
><em>_And I'll never desert you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Won't let nobody hurt you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you__  
><em>_Won't let nobody hurt you__  
><em>_I'll stand by you_

When they were finished Rachel couldn't stop the tears streaming down her cheeks, at that moment she understood how much of an impact her actions have had on the people closest to her, how much they have been hurting seeing her struggling and most of all, how lucky she was that they didn't leave her and let her deal with this by herself. Standing up she made her way to her three best friends and hugged them, not caring that she was crying, Santana didn't even bother trying to hold her tears, she was just glad that Rachel, for the moment, wasn't pushing them away.

"I'm so sorry." Rachel said through her sobs.

"It's okay Rachel, you're trying to get better and that's all we have ever wanted." Santana whispered.

Santana and Brittany moved away to let Puck hold Rachel, as soon as she felt his strong arms around her; she pressed herself against him, to feel his warmth; she felt so secure and so loved in his arms. When she had gotten her wits about her, she looked up at Puck through watery eyes.

"Did you mean it? The part about never loving me less; or was that just because of the song." Rachel asked nervously.

"I do you know... love you." Puck confirmed.

"I do you know... love you too Noah." Rachel admitted and let Puck place a chaste kiss on her lips in the middle of the choir room.

XXXXX

That afternoon, Rachel was allowed to go to Puck's after school to help him look after his little sister. Once Becca was occupied in her room Puck and Rachel headed to his bedroom to talk about their 'status'.

"So… I fully understand if you don't want to date me. I'm high maintenance as it is but having my problems that I'm having I fully understand you wanting to..." Rachel began but was cut off.

"Rachel, you're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend. You're mine now and I'm not going to leave you when things get hard, I think I've proved that." Puck said interlacing their hands resting them between them on the bed.

"You sure?" Rachel whispered.

"Bring it." Puck smirked causing Rachel to laugh.

Before she knew what was happening, Puck laid her gently down on his bed and claimed her lips with his, passionate was always the first thing she thought of when they kissed but the second feeling she felt was now love, she knew how much Puck cared about her when he kissed her; when he gently stroked her cheek and moved her hair away from her face. Puck slid his hand down her body, running them up her thighs, just as he was about to place his hands under her Cheerio's skirt, Rachel pulled back.

"Don't." Rachel said weakly.

"Why? I'll respect it but why baby." Puck asked.

"My scars, t-they are hideous." Rachel said with tears in her eyes.

Puck's eyes immediately soften, he cupped Rachel face with his hands and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You are gorgeous Rachel and nothing you could do, show me or tell me would make me thing otherwise." Puck said sincerely.

"Promise." Rachel asked with tears in her eyes.

"Let me show you." Puck muttered against her lips.

Making his way down her body, he stopped when he got to the end of her skirt and lifted it slowly upwards until it was bunched around her waist; exposing her legs and her panties. Tracing his fingers slowly down her cuts, some still healing and others were scars, he looked Rachel in the eyes as he whispered.

"Beautiful."

He softly placed kissed along her thighs, kissing her longer on her scars and then took her panties off. Seeing her scars that were on her hips; he kissed them as well before making his way back to her wet centre. Looking Rachel in her eyes, he took a gentle lick up her wet pussy and smiled against her when she flung her head back in pleasure. He continued to work her, licking her clit repeatedly, gently fucking her with his tongue and then using his fingers to fuck her while his tongue rapidly lapped at her clit. It wasn't long before she was chanting his name as she came undone. Kissing his way up her body, he placed a long and loving kiss on her lips.

"Fucking beautiful." He murmured.

"Love you Noah." Rachel said.

"Love you too." Puck smiled.

Feeling some warm wetness against her leg she looked down and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Worth it." Puck shrugged, once he remember that he just came in his pants for the first time since he was 12. The things this girl did to him.

**A/N So Rachel is getting help; Puck and Rachel are together finally! Now having had depression, she will have up and down chapters, I am planning on making this at least 20 chapters maybe more... Review and let me know on what you would like to see happen in this story! R&R please!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"So Rachel, tell me about how you have been feeling?" Dr. Wilson Rachel's psychologist asked on Rachel's very first session.

Rachel looked up nervously at Dr. Wilson before glancing back down at her hands.

"Sad, angry... alone." Rachel whispered.

"And how do you cope with those feelings?" Dr. Wilson added.

"I-I, sometimes cut... actually I always cut and drugs," Rachel said trying not to cry.

"Your doctor told me that you are living with your mother..." Dr. Wilson began before he got cut off.

"She is _**not**_ my mother, she is my birth mother she lost all claim over me when she traded me in for a newer model." Rachel snapped, tears in her eyes.

Seeing that this topic was affect Rachel greatly, Dr. Wilson continued asking about this.

"What happened Rachel?"

Wiping away a tear, Rachel told the whole story to Dr. Wilson, how Shelby tracked her down only to leave and adopt Quinn and Puck's baby… "And now, now she pretends that she 'cares', I am not a charity case." Rachel says sternly.

Before Dr. Wilson can continue Rachel excuses herself and walked out of the room, cutting her first session short by 45 minutes.

XXXXX

"How was your session?" Shelby asked as soon as Rachel walked inside the house.

"Don't do that." Rachel bit out.

"Do what?" Shelby asked confused.

"Pretend to care. It's not a good look." Rachel snapped before storming into her room and slamming the door shut.

Knowing Rachel wasn't coming out for a while and knowing that she definitely wouldn't talk to her about it, Shelby called the one person she knew Rachel would listen to.

XXXXX

"Baby?" Puck asked knocking on Rachel's door.

"Come in." He heard Rachel whisper so he open the door and quietly closed it.

"Are you okay?" Puck asked climbing into her bed and wrapping his arm around her, spooning her.

"No." Rachel muttered, she sighed when she felt Puck move her back closer to his chest, she loved this side to him. "I'm a mess." Rachel sobbed quietly.

"Baby, you're sick. But you are getting better, it takes so much courage to even do half the stuff you are doing. I'm so proud of you." Puck reassured her.

"I'm a loser, and I'm so disappointed in myself." Rachel whispered.

"W-why?" Puck asked already knowing the answer.

"After my session, I was so upset, I-I cut myself again." Rachel admitted quietly.

Puck buried his head into Rachel's hair and held onto her and she cried, shaking in his arms; he placed his hand over her wrist where she had cut and lifted the sleeve of her sweater up to reveal the cuts.

"Please. Don't." Puck begged before he laid Rachel on her back and began to kiss her arm where her cuts where over and over again.

"Don't leave me Noah. Everyone does. Shelby, my parents, Finn; please don't ever leave me." Rachel begged him brokenly.

Lifting her face up so they were eye to eye.

"I love you Rachel Berry and I will _never_ leave." Puck declared strongly, before placing a light kiss on her lips.

"I love you too Noah." Rachel muttered and kissed him back.

**A/N Short chapter sorry new chapters up later tomorrow :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N I own nothing! Longer chapter this time around :)**

Chapter 14

"Guys we need to concentrate on Regionals, this is senior year for many of you and I really want you guys to have a National title under your belt." Mr Shue told the glee club on Monday.

"Well some of us already do." Quinn said smugly, "Cheerleading."

"Oh shut up Quinn, you only have one, your freshman year, Brit and I have that and sophomore and you don't see us parading around like an idiot over it. Having this National title is worth a million of those stupid cheerleading ones." Santana snapped at Quinn.

"I agree with San, glee club is a family so it's worth so much more." Brittany agreed with her girlfriend.

"What's your plan?" Kurt asking trying to get back to the original subject.

"We go with what always works, Rachel singing a solo." Mr Shue said smiling at the trouble girl who was sitting in the front row.

"Agreed." Santana and Brittany said at the same time.

"Mr Shue what about Mercedes?" Quinn asked trying to get Rachel's solo taken off her.

"Rachel deserves it, she's an amazing singer and she has been through a lot this year, it would be awesome to get the old Rachel back. To see her sing her heart out." Mercedes said warmly smiling brightly at Rachel, "I think I speak for everyone when I say I can't wait to see you singing your heart out up on that stage, where you belong." Mercedes added.

"Thank you Mercedes." Rachel smiled, humbled that Mercedes felt that way.

Quinn just rolled her eyes and gripped onto Finn's hand tightly.

"What song do you want to sing Rachel?" Shelby asked.

"Um, I'm not sure; but, I-I was wondering if I could sing a song now... for Noah." Rachel asked nervously, she hadn't really sung much this year, but she felt like singing a little bit more thanks to the antidepressants.

"We would love to hear you baby girl." Shelby said, slipping up and calling Rachel a pet name, the name she only called her and Beth; even if Rachel said she didn't like it when Shelby called her that, secretly she loved it, she only called her _daughters_ that.

Rachel stood up and went to the middle of the room never taking her eyes off Puck; everyone was expecting a sad song but Rachel shocked them with a poppy, upbeat song.

_You think I'm pretty__  
><span>__Without any make-up on__  
><span>__You think I'm funny__  
><span>__When I tell the punchline wrong__  
><span>__I know you get me__  
><span>__So I let my walls come down, down___

_Before you met me__  
><span>__I was a right but things__  
><span>__Were kinda heavy__  
><span>__You brought me to life__  
><span>__Now every February__  
><span>__You'll be my Valentine, Valentine___

_Let's go all the way tonight__  
><span>__No regrets, just love__  
><span>__We can dance, until we die__  
><span>__You and I, will be young forever___

_[Chorus:]__  
><span>__You make me feel__  
><span>__Like I'm livin' a__  
><span>__Teenage dream__  
><span>__The way you turn me on__  
><span>__I can't sleep__  
><span>__Let's run away and__  
><span>__Don't ever look back,__  
><span>__Don't ever look back___

_My heart stops__  
><span>__When you look at me__  
><span>__Just one touch__  
><span>__Now baby I believe__  
><span>__This is real__  
><span>__So take a chance and__  
><span>__Don't ever look back,__  
><span>__Don't ever look back___

_We drove to Cali__  
><span>__And got drunk on the beach__  
><span>__Got a motel and__  
><span>__Built a fort out of sheets__  
><span>__I finally found you__  
><span>__My missing puzzle piece__  
><span>__I'm complete___

_Let's go all the way tonight__  
><span>__No regrets, just love__  
><span>__We can dance, until we die__  
><span>__You and I, will be young forever___

_[Chorus:]__  
><span>__You make me feel__  
><span>__Like I'm livin' a__  
><span>__Teenage dream__  
><span>__The way you turn me on__  
><span>__I can't sleep__  
><span>__Let's run away and__  
><span>__Don't ever look back,__  
><span>__Don't ever look back___

_My heart stops__  
><span>__When you look at me__  
><span>__Just one touch__  
><span>__Now baby I believe__  
><span>__This is real__  
><span>__So take a chance and__  
><span>__Don't ever look back,__  
><span>__Don't ever look back___

_I'm a get your heart racing__  
><span>__In my skin tights jeans__  
><span>__Be your teenage dream tonight__  
><span>__Let you put your hands on me__  
><span>__In my skin tight jeans__  
><span>__Be your teenage dream tonight___

_[Chorus:]__  
><span>__Yoooouuu__  
><span>__You make me feel__  
><span>__Like I'm livin' a__  
><span>__Teenage dream__  
><span>__The way you turn me on__  
><span>__I can't sleep__  
><span>__Let's run away and__  
><span>__Don't ever look back,__  
><span>__Don't ever look back__  
><span>__No___

_My heart stops__  
><span>__When you look at me__  
><span>__Just one touch__  
><span>__Now baby I believe__  
><span>__This is real__  
><span>__So take a chance and__  
><span>__Don't ever look back,__  
><span>__Don't ever look back___

_I'm a get your heart racing__  
><span>__In my skin tights jeans__  
><span>__Be your teenage dream tonight__  
><span>__Let you put your hands on me__  
><span>__In my skin tight jeans__  
><span>__Be your teenage dream tonight__  
><span>__(Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)_

XXXXX

"You do you know, make me feel beautiful." Rachel told Puck after glee practice.

"You are, s'fact." Puck replied truthfully.

"Even with my scars, you make me feel sexy and wanted... loved." Rachel said leaning into Noah's embrace as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged Rachel from behind as they stood in the car park of the school.

"I love you Rachel, never forget that." Puck whispered in her ear. "You're smart, sexy, beautiful, and talented and most importantly mine."

Turning around so that she was now facing him, Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and gently kissed him.

"I also meant the other thing." Rachel said shyly biting her bottom lip.

"What other thing?" Puck asked confused.

"_Let's go all the way tonight."_ Rachel sang softly to Puck. "I love you Noah." Rachel said as if it was the simplest thing out there.

"Are you sure baby? You only get to lose your virginity once." Puck asked.

"This might scare you away but, you're everything to me; when I see myself in New York, I see you there with me; when I think about myself in ten years, I see us married and at least two kids; a girl and a boy by the way." Rachel added making Puck laugh.

"Sounds perfect." Puck admitted, he had thought about that the last month since he and Rachel had gotten together.

"Shelby and Beth won't be home tonight; Shelby takes Beth to a play group every Monday night, they are gone from 4 and they don't get back till 7." Rachel smiled up at her boyfriend.

"Rachel Berry, tonight I will be your first and your last; and I promise to rock your world every single time." Puck said kissing her deeply before taking her hand and leading her to his car.

XXXXX

Puck and Rachel were currently making out on her bed, it was 5 o'clock and all they had done was this so far.

"Rachel are you sure? I can wait, till whenever you are ready." Puck reassure her.

"Noah, I'm sure, I want you to be my first, my last." Rachel smiled kissing him lightly.

"Love you Rachel." Puck said as he slowly removed her shirt.

"I love you too Noah." Rachel said helping him remove her clothes; before moving on to remove his.

"Condom?" Rachel asked as she removed his boxer, moaning out loud when she saw his hard length.

"Wallet." Puck managed out as Rachel stroked his cock up and down.

After putting on the condom, Puck laid Rachel back down on her back and placed a finger inside of her, feeling how wet she was... for him; Puck lined himself up at her entrance.

"You sure baby?" Puck asked as he kissed her.

"I'm sure." Rachel assured and moaned when she felt him slid in a little bit to her tight heat.

"Oh fuck you are so tight." Puck groaned, before thrusting to the hilt breaking her barrier, causing a few tears to run down Rachel's cheek.

"I'm sorry baby, it will get better I promise." Puck assure Rachel, nodding Rachel kissed him and moaned a little when Puck ran her fingers down her to begin to play with her clit to get her mind off the pain.

"Move Noah please." Rachel demanded.

Never wanting to piss Rachel off, he obeyed; slowly at first before increasing as Rachel started to roll her hips in sync to his thrusts.

"Oh Noah, this feels so fucking good." Rachel moaned gripping onto his shoulders as she lifted her right leg up and around his waist sending him deeper.

"Fuck. You close baby?" Puck asked she was so tight he didn't know how long he could last.

"So close, Noah; harder."

Thrusting faster and harder, Puck moaned when he felt Rachel fluttering around his cock and chanted her name as they both came undone together; after they were spent, he slowly pulled out and rolled over so he was next to Rachel. After Puck removed the condom and placed it in the bin that was in Rachel's room; he crawled back into bed and kissed Rachel's temple.

"I love you." Puck muttered.

"Love you too Noah." Rachel said curling up into his side and falling asleep.

**A/N A little bit of happiness this chapter. Should Quinn try and plan something evil and knock Rachel back down or should they be friends? What else would you like to happen in this story?**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I own nothing! Hope you guys like :)**

Chapter 15

"You know this whole looking for attention thing is starting to wear thin." Quinn said corning Rachel is the bathroom during lunch.

"W-What?" Rachel asked confused, she hadn't spoken to Quinn much while she was recovering, she was trying to avoid all the negative people in her life.

"The whole, I'm depressed and angry with the world. Didn't we have this conversation last year? You are always meant to get heartbroken, nobody cares and as soon as you give it up to Puckerman he's going to leave you as well. Face it Rachel you are pathetic so get used to it and stop with the act." Quinn said bitterly before leaving the bathroom and a stunned and upset Rachel in her wake.

XXXXX

Rachel avoided everybody after her and Quinn's conversation, she just wanted to be alone. Quinn had said everything that Rachel was insecure about, the number one being Noah would leave her and since they had sex yesterday, Rachel was afraid that he would leave her, and she would have to get better all by herself. She didn't know what she would do if Noah abandoned her. It was time for glee and Rachel made sure she was last to arrive and when Noah patted the seat that was free next to him, Rachel kept going and sat at the very back by herself, confusing Puck.

"Hey guys, so Rachel have you thought about what solo you want to sing for Regionals?" Mr Shue asked as soon as he walked into the choir room.

"I have, it's a song by Rihanna." Rachel said, "Russian Roulette."

"That's a very dark song babe." Puck said concerned.

"Well Mr Shue and Miss Corcoran said I could chose so I chose that." Rachel snapped back.

"Okay Rachel, you can sing that song maybe we should go with a darker performance, a darker number for the group song." Shelby said trying to stop the others from staring at her daughter.

"Or we could do a sad song for the solo and then a happy, bright, cheery song for the group number?" Quinn suggested smugly.

"I agree with Quinn." Puck nodded, for once the blonde had a good idea.

Rachel was upset that Puck would agree with Quinn so easily, he was _her_ boyfriend not Quinn's, well not any more... unless, he was going to leave her for Quinn just like every male in her life seemed to do.

"Born this way." Kurt suggested and everyone agreed, Rachel just stared blankly ahead ignoring everyone all the while asking herself mentally, _why did Quinn have to put these thoughts into my head?_

XXXXX

"What's wrong Rachel?" Shelby asked while her daughters played together on the carpet in the living room.

"Nothing." Rachel simply said.

"Sweetie, I know you're lying. You have been living with me for a few months, I can read you. You remind me of me when I was younger, I know I made so many mistakes two years ago but I want to be your friend, and I want you to learn how to trust me." Shelby said trying desperately to get her eldest daughter to open up to her.

Sighing, Rachel turned away from Beth to face Shelby.

"I'm too damaged, for anyone to love." Rachel whispered.

Looking at her daughter, Shelby's heart broke looking at her broken daughter.

"I love you, more than you know and I know Noah loves you. Santana and Brittany, they're like your sisters." Shelby said moving to sit on the ground and pulled Rachel into her lap. "Beth loves you so much, you're her big sister."

"Quinn, s-she said that I was pathetic, she said that this is a whole act, me being like this. I can't turn it off, I can't! I wish I could but I can't stop feeling so sad and angry and alone. Quinn just doesn't understand, and I can't explain it to her. Unless you have been through it, it's just too hard." Rachel managed to get out before bursting into tears.

Shelby just let her daughter cry in her arms, she was going to having a word with Quinn tomorrow at school.

XXXXX

"Whatever you are doing to my daughter stop it." Shelby warned Quinn.

"Which one, the daughter you carried for money or _my_ beautiful Beth?" Quinn sneered.

"They are both my babies, they mean the world to me. You have no idea what you are doing to Rachel, so stop it or else I will take away the visitation to Beth. Just because I moved back here so you could see her, doesn't mean I won't take her away if you hurt my other daughter." Shelby told Quinn before leaving the room and a gobsmacked Quinn.

XXXXX

"Baby did I do something wrong?" Puck asked Rachel as soon as he saw her at her locker.

Turning around Rachel smiled softly at Noah, "No you haven't done anything. I-I was just being insecure, scared that after we had sex you'd leave me." Rachel said shyly.

"Never Rachel, I love you. I will never abandon you promise. Talk to me, whenever you are feeling like this don't shut me out." Puck begged.

"I'm sorry and I will next time… but I actually spoke to Shelby and it was kind of nice." Rachel confessed.

"And maybe, you should listen to Quinn's idea about a happy performance for Regionals." Puck suggested unaware of what happened yesterday.

Tensing, Rachel pulled away from Puck.

"Quinn this, Quinn that it's always Quinn. I am so over hearing about fucking Quinn!" Rachel snapped and ran away from her confused boyfriend.

XXXXX

Glee club that afternoon was stressful, Rachel wasn't speaking again and Quinn was angry that Rachel had the nerve to tell Shelby about their little conversation, Beth was _her_ child and no one could take that away from her.

"Some people in this very room don't understand the seriousness of depression." Shelby stated as soon as she walked inside the choir room.

"Of course we know, we have all been very supportive of Rachel." Tina said smiling warmly at Rachel who was still looking blank ahead.

"Not all." Shelby said not hiding the fact that she was staring at Quinn.

Puck tensed his fist, so Quinn was giving his girl shit about her life. Fuck... no wonder she reacted badly when he 'took' Quinn's side.

"Well, I thought I'd read this quote, about depression; so _some_ of you could start to understand more about it, especially if you think it's a choice." Shelby said before she began to read the quote she had prepared earlier.

"People who think depression is a choice, take a second to think. How would it feel to wake up and not having the emotional strength to face people? To think that time is just passing by with no real reason? To feel so alone even when you are sitting in a room full of people? To have to put on a face and hide your feelings because in your mind you think no one would care anyway? To lose friends because you can't find the strength to go out and you can't physically be 'happy'? To cry yourself to sleep, hoping you wouldn't wake up then when you do you are exhausted from the night before, and it all starts again? You try to hide your feelings hoping no one would notice. Now tell me why someone would choose that? Depression is an illness, not a choice."

**A/N So I thought Shelby would start to redeem herself. Now I HATE how they have made her on the TV show, I mean sleeping with your eldest daughters first boyfriend talk about wrong! But in my story I feel she deserves a second chance so she is trying.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N I own nothing! The song Rachel will sing for Regionals is not her original song but just for the story let's pretend that it is, 'Smile' isn't owned by glee. I own nothing! **

Chapter 16

"So you aren't going to be singing the Rihanna song?" Mr Shue asked Rachel a few days before Regionals.

"No, I wrote a song and I would like to perform that, it's a secret but it will match the 'Born This Way' song that follows my solo." Rachel told her teacher.

"Well I trust you Rach, whatever she has written after 'Get it Right' I agree with Rachel." Santana said agreeing with her friend.

"Thanks San." Rachel smiled at her friend.

"Well then I agree, Rachel I can't wait to hear your new song." Mr Shue smiled at his star pupil.

Xxxxx

"Are you ready baby?" Puck asked his girlfriend, New Directions were only minutes away from performing.

"Yeah, I am. N-Noah, I'm kind of nervous, I mean nobody has even heard this song. Last time everyone in the club heard it but now..." Rachel said biting her bottom lip.

"It will be perfect because you wrote it." Puck said kissing her lightly, "Knock em' dead baby."

Rachel nodded kissing Puck once more and then turned to face the stage taking in a deep breath and closed her eyes as the music began to swell behind her.

_Smile though your heart is aching  
>Smile even though it's breaking<br>When there are clouds in the sky  
>You'll get by<br>If you Smile through your pain and sorrow  
>Smile and maybe tomorrow<br>You'll see the sun come shining through  
>For you<span>_

_Light up your face with gladness  
>Hide every trace of sadness<br>Although a tear may be ever so near  
>That's the time (that's the time) you must keep on trying<br>Smile- What's the use of crying  
>You'll find that life is still worthwhile<br>If you just smile._

_That's the time (that's the time) you must keep on trying,  
>Smile- What's the use of crying<br>You'll find that life is still worthwhile  
>If you just smile.<em>

_Smile though your heart is aching  
>Smile Even though it's breaking<br>When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by_

_That's the time (that's the time) you must keep on trying  
>Smile- What's the use of crying<br>You'll find that life is still worthwhile  
>If you just<br>You'll find that life is still worthwhile  
>If you just smile.<br>_

The whole New Directions and Shelby and Will just stood backstage shocked, Rachel had written this amazing ballad, a beautiful song; showing the world that she was getting better and that she was strong enough to beat her depression. Puck had never been more prouder of his girl, he loved Rachel and he loved that she was singing a hopeful song and not a depressing song.

___[Kurt:]__  
><span>__It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M__  
><span>__Just put your paws up__  
><span>__'cause you were born this way, baby___

_[Mercedes]__  
><span>__My mama told me when I was young__  
><span>__We are all born superstars__  
><span>__She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on__  
><span>__In the glass of her boudoir__  
><span>_

_[Puck]  
>"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"<br>She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"  
>"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,<br>Listen to me when I say"_

_[All:]  
>I'm beautiful in my way<br>'Cause God makes no mistakes  
>I'm on the right track, baby<br>I was born this way  
>Don't hide yourself in regret<br>Just love yourself and you're set  
>I'm on the right track, baby<br>I was born this way_

_[All:]  
>Oh there ain't no other way<br>Baby I was born this way  
>Baby I was born this way<br>Oh there ain't no other way  
>Baby I was born this way<br>I'm on the right track, baby  
>I was born this way<em>

_Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen [x3]  
>Don't be!<em>

_[Rachel:]  
>Give yourself prudence<br>And love your friends  
>Subway kid, rejoice your truth<br>In the religion of the insecure  
>I must be myself, respect my youth<em>

_A different lover is not a sin  
>Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)<br>I love my life I love this record and  
>Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)<em>

_[Repeat chorus + post-chorus]_

_[Santana:]  
>Don't be a drag, just be a queen<br>Whether you're broke or evergreen  
>You're black, white, beige, chola descent<br>You're Lebanese, you're orient  
>Whether life's disabilities<br>Left you outcast, bullied, or teased  
>Rejoice and love yourself today<br>'cause baby you were born this way_

_No matter gay, straight, or bi,  
>Lesbian, transgendered life,<br>I'm on the right track baby,  
>I was born to survive.<br>No matter black, white or beige  
>Chola or orient made,<br>I'm on the right track baby,  
>I was born to be brave.<em>

_[Repeat chorus + post-chorus]_

_[All]  
>I was born this way hey!<br>I was born this way hey!  
>I'm on the right track baby<br>I was born this way hey!  
>I was born this way hey!<br>I was born this way hey!  
>I'm on the right track baby<br>I was born this way hey!_

_[All]  
>Same DNA, but born this way.<br>Same DNA, but born this way. _

Needless to say, New Directions won Regionals they were one step closer to winning Nationals.

Xxxxx

"I am so proud of you Rachel." Shelby told her daughter when they arrived home.

"Really?" Rachel asked holding onto Beth.

"Very." Shelby smiled, "Your dad's rang me. They are coming back for a few weeks in a few days so you'll be able to go home." Shelby informed her daughter.

"Really? Um, maybe I could stay here. I mean; they did leave me when I needed them and you, you and Noah were there for me..." Rachel said nervously.

"Are you sure Rachel? I mean I would love it if you stayed here still, this is your home." Shelby said shocked.

"Yeah I would like it very much if I could stay with you and just see them during the days." Rachel said surprising even herself.

"That would be really great." Shelby smiled and hugged and kissed her daughter.

**A/N Shelby and Rachel's relationship is getting better.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N I own nothing! All mistakes are mine.**

Chapter 17

Rachel really didn't need this, she didn't want or need her parents to be mad at her for deciding to stay with Shelby and only see her days during the days and maybe staying over a night or two while they were back in Lima before they had to leave again. She and Shelby's relationship still wasn't the best but Rachel realised that Shelby was there for her while her dads were away, not even her dad came back I mean it wasn't like he had to work there as well. The people have been there and helping Rachel were Shelby, Puck, Santana, Brittany and unbeknown to her, Beth.

"So can you tell me again why you aren't staying with us while we are back for a week?" Rachel's dad Paul asked as they were sitting in Shelby's living room.

"Because this is my home now." Rachel whispered.

"What?" Peter asked his child.

"Because, this is my home now." Rachel said a little bit louder. "You haven't been there for me, when I needed you, where were you?" Rachel asked about to cry.

"Sweetie I was working..." Paul said.

"Well what about you daddy? Why didn't you come back for me?" Rachel demanded.

"Rachel we had no idea it was this bad." Peter said as he stared at her scars on her arms.

"There more you know. Wanna see?" Rachel asked before lifting her shirt up a little exposing her belly, her father's eyes watered when they saw all the deep cuts she had placed all over her stomach.

"Baby girl." Her parents both said at the same time before they rushed towards her and hugged her tightly.

"I really needed you." Rachel cried into her father's shirts.

And that is how Rachel spent her first day back with her parents, talking and crying for hours on end.

Xxxxx

"You alright B?" Santana asked Rachel the following week at school.

"Yeah, my parents went back today; guess I miss them already." Rachel said kind of sadly.

"You'll be okay Rach, you got us always." Santana reminded Rachel and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks San." Rachel smiled and headed to her first class dragging Santana behind her, San really hated Maths.

Xxxxx

"Okay Nationals is in two months, we need to start rehearsals now so we have the greatest chance of winning." Mr Shue told the club.

"So in order to do that, everyone must sing a solo, on the fly." Shelby told the kids.

"So today?" Mercedes asked nervously.

"Yep." Mr Shue smiled.

"Problem?" Santana smirked at Mercedes.

"N-no." Mercedes said back not so confidently.

"Okay random order, first up Puck." Shelby told the room.

"Rachel, for you." Puck said before nodding to Brad, he had been practising this for a few days now and was actually going to sing it to Rachel today so Puck wasn't nervous at all.

_[Verse 1:]__  
><span>__Oh, her eyes, her eyes__  
><span>__Make the stars look like they're not shinin'__  
><span>__Her hair, her hair__  
><span>__Falls perfectly without her trying__  
><span>__She's so beautiful__  
><span>__And I tell her everyday (yeahh)___

_I know, I know__  
><span>__When I compliment her she won't believe me__  
><span>__And it's so, it's so__  
><span>__Sad to think that she don't see what I see__  
><span>__But everytime she asks me "Do I look okay? "__  
><span>__I say___

_[Chorus:]__  
><span>__When I see your face (face face...)__  
><span>__There's not a thing that I would change__  
><span>__'Cause you're amazing (amazing)__  
><span>__Just the way you are (are)__  
><span>__And when you smile (smaile)__  
><span>__The whole world stops and stares for a while__  
><span>__'Cause girl you're amazing (amazing)__  
><span>__Just the way you are (are)___

_[Verse 2:]__  
><span>__Her lips, her lips__  
><span>__I could kiss them all day if she'd let me__  
><span>__Her laugh, her laugh__  
><span>__She hates but I think it's so sexy__  
><span>__She's so beautiful__  
><span>__And I tell her everyday__  
><span>__  
><span>__Oh you know, you know, you know__  
><span>__I'd never ask you to change__  
><span>__If perfect's what you're searching for__  
><span>__Then just stay the same__  
><span>__So don't even bother asking if you look okay__  
><span>__You know I'll say___

_[Chorus:]__  
><span>__When I see your face (face face...)__  
><span>__There's not a thing that I would change__  
><span>__'Cause you're amazing (amazing)__  
><span>__Just the way you are (are)__  
><span>__And when you smile (smile)__  
><span>__The whole world stops and stares for a while__  
><span>__'Cause girl you're amazing (amazing)__  
><span>__Just the way you are (are)___

_The way you are__  
><span>__The way you are__  
><span>__Girl you're amazing (amazing)__  
><span>__Just the way you are (are)___

_[Chorus:]__  
><span>__When I see your face__  
><span>__There's not a thing that I would change__  
><span>__Cause you're amazing (amazing)__  
><span>__Just the way you are (are)__  
><span>__And when you smile__  
><span>__The whole world stops and stares for awhile__  
><span>__Cause girl you're amazing__  
><span>__Just the way you are___

_Yeah_

"Love you sexy." Puck smirked at a blushing Rachel and took his seat next to her and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

After everyone had sung (amazingly by the way) Rachel was up.

"This is for you Noah. To put it simply, you saved me, from myself." Rachel said and took her seat on the stool in the middle of the room and began to sing.

_I can't win, I can't reign  
>I will never win this game<br>Without you, without you  
>I am lost, I am vain,<br>I will never be the same  
>Without you, without you<span>_

_I won't run, I won't fly  
>I will never make it by<br>Without you, without you  
>I can't rest, I can't fight<br>All I need is you and I,  
>Without you, without you<em>

_Oh oh oh!  
>You! You! You!<br>Without...  
>You! You! You!<br>Without...you_

_Can't erase, so I'll take blame  
>But I can't accept that we're estranged<br>Without you, without you  
>I can't quit now, this can't be right<br>I can't take one more sleepless night  
>Without you, without you<em>

_I won't soar, I won't climb  
>If you're not here, I'm paralyzed<br>Without you, without you  
>I can't look, I'm so blind<br>I lost my heart, I lost my mind  
>Without you, without you<em>

_Oh oh oh!  
>You! You! You!<br>Without...  
>You! You! You!<br>Without...you_

_I am lost, I am vain,  
>I will never be the same<br>Without you, without you  
>Without...you<em>

"I love you Noah." Rachel smiled, only she noticed the tears shinning in Noah's eyes, he really did save her. After everyone left the choir room to give Puck and Rachel some time to themselves after Rachel's emotional confession, Puck stood up and walked over to Rachel and cupped her face and kissed her lovingly.

"I fucking love you Rachel." Puck said against her lips.

Smiling, Rachel went into shock when Puck let go of her face and dropped to one knee,

"Rachel Berry, you; you are perfect, in everything you do; the way you look at me, makes me feel like I could climb a mountain in five seconds, run around the world in day; makes me believe I can do and be anything. I know, that you are it for me Rach; you are my endgame, and I would do anything to protect you to help you. I-I don't have a ring because it's kind of spur of the moment thing, but I have never been so sure of anything in my whole entire life. When I think ten years into my future, it's not just my future, it's ours. It's us living in New York, you winning you Tony's making Broadway your bitch, me maybe becoming a police officer or maybe opening a business; our kids, a badass boy like me and the most amazingly beautiful baby girl like you. Rachel Barbra Berry will you marry me?" Puck asked looking Rachel deep in the eyes.

**A/N Cliffhanger haha! Should she say yes or no?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N I own nothing!**

Chapter 18

So running out of the room after the love of your life, the man that you love and could one day seeing yourself marrying and having children with just after he had proposed to you probably isn't the best thing to do; but Rachel panicked, she wasn't expecting this today, hell she wasn't expecting this for at least another five years, Noah just proposed to her; what was she going to do.

Xxxxx

"Rachel are you okay sweetie?" Shelby asked her daughter as she watched Rachel rush inside the house, slamming the front door with tears in her eyes.

"N-No, I've ruined everything!" Rachel sobbed to Shelby before running into her bedroom.

Putting Beth in her crib, Shelby followed her eldest daughter into her bedroom and ran over to Rachel's bed were Rachel was currently crying her eyes out.

"What happened baby girl?" Shelby asked while soothing Rachel.

"N-Noah, he proposed." Rachel whispered.

"As in marriage?" Shelby clarified.

"Y-yes bended knee and everything." Rachel sobbed.

"I take it you said no." Shelby said gently.

"No, I panicked, I left without saying anything. Mum he's going to hate me!" Rachel sobbed not realising she just called Shelby mum for the first time since she had been living with her.

"D-did you just call me mum?" Shelby asked shocked.

Rachel went wide eyed,

"I'm sorry if you don't want me to-" Rachel was cut of by Shelby hugging her.

"It's all I've ever wanted, to be you mum; not just your birth mother. Y-you can call me that if you want?" Shelby said hesitantly worried that it was just a slip of the tongue.

"I'd love to... mum." Rachel smiled with tears in her eyes, climbing into Rachel's bed; Shelby just held onto her daughter as Rachel cried, comforting her as best as she could.

Xxxxx

The next day at school Rachel was nervous to see Noah; he hadn't call her since she had left him on bended knee in the choir room, she knew she made a mistake by running out on him but she was in shock and needed time to think about things; now that she had, she just wanted to see him and tell him her answer... now if only she could find him.

"Have you seen Noah?" Rachel asked Finn and Quinn who were the only ones in the choir room.

"Nope, but hopefully he found some sense and ditched your sorry ass." Quinn sneered.

"Sorry Rach, we haven't seen him." Finn said nicer.

"Thanks I guess." Rachel said rolling her eyes and took her seat towards the back were she and Noah usually sat.

Five minutes later, everyone in glee was there; everyone besides Noah.

"Where's Puckerman?" Mr Shue asked the group.

"I don't know I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon." Rachel told the group.

"I'm sure he'll show sweetie." Shelby tried to settle her daughter as if almost reading her mind knowing how upset she was that he wasn't here.

"Sorry I'm late." Puck said after twenty minutes of glee.

"Where the hell have you been?" Mr Shue asked annoyed, they had Nationals soon and they weren't going to win if everyone wasn't on their top game.

"Busy." Puck muttered before taking a seat next to Quinn, which pissed Rachel off.

"Noah what are you doing?" Rachel asked annoyed, why would he sit next to Quinn Fabray and not his girlfriend.

"Sitting next to MY baby mama." Puck snapped, he wanted to hurt Rachel and he knew being friendly with Quinn would do it.

"Trying desperately not to cry, Rachel turned her head so she was looking out into the hallway instead at looking at Puck and Quinn talk in close proximity.

"Songs?" Shelby said trying to distract the tense situation.

"Yes Shelby I have one that I'd love to sing." Rachel said with closed fists, she knew that she shouldn't of run out of Puck yesterday, but if this is how he reacts to not getting his way; by purposely wanting to make Rachel hurt, then maybe he wasn't husband material.

_Loving you __  
><span>__Isn't the right thing to do __  
><span>__How can I __  
><span>__Ever change things that I feel? __  
><span>__If I could __  
><span>__Maybe I'd give you my world __  
><span>__How can I __  
><span>__When you won't take it from me? ___

_You can go your own way! __  
><span>__Go your own way __  
><span>__You can call it another lonely day __  
><span>__Another Lonely day __  
><span>__You can go your own way! __  
><span>__Go your own way __  
><span>__[ Lyrics from:__  
><span>__Tell me why __  
><span>__Everything turned around? __  
><span>__Packing up __  
><span>__Shacking up's all you wanna do __  
><span>__If I could __  
><span>__Baby I'd give you my world __  
><span>__Open up __  
><span>__Every thing's waiting for you ___

_You can go your own way! __  
><span>__Go your own way __  
><span>__You can call it another lonely day __  
><span>__Another Lonely day __  
><span>__You can go your own way! __  
><span>__Go your own way ___

_You can go your own way! __  
><span>__Go your own way __  
><span>__You can call it another lonely day __  
><span>__Another lonely day __  
><span>__You can go your own way! __  
><span>__Go your own way __  
><span>__You can call it another lonely day ___

_You can go your own way __  
><span>__You can call it another lonely day __  
><span>__You can go your own way ___

_Go your own way.___

"I was going to say yes, but maybe you'd be happier with your fucking baby mama!" Rachel said with tears in her eyes before storming out of the room, with a apologetic Puck in her wake.

**A/N Like on actual glee something bad always happens before something good happens. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N I own nothing! Sorry for the delay.**

Chapter 19

"Rachel can I speak to you for a moment?" Shelby asked her daughter who was currently playing with Beth in Beth's room.

Instead of answering, Rachel just nodded her head yes.

"Puck came by," Shelby began noticing Rachel's shoulders tensing at Puck's name, "With a little black box." Shelby added.

"W-what?" Rachel said shocked.

"And a letter." Shelby continued, "Maybe you should read it." Shelby said picking up Beth and placing down the box and the letter before leaving the room with her youngest daughter.

Rachel stared at the box and the letter that was placed underneath the box for what felt like hours but in reality was only a few minutes before she grabbed the letter and slowly unfolded it and began to read.

_Rachel,_

_I am so fucking sorry for what I did to you in glee. Shit, I probably shouldn't have sworn twice in an apology letter but what else do you expect from me. _

Rachel laughed lightly and continued reading.

_When you ran out of the choir room after I proposed it scared the fuck out of me, I thought I'd lost you, I felt hurt and rejected and instead of talking to you I did what I do best; became Puck and not Noah, your Noah. I love you Rachel and when I thought you had rejected me, a part of me died as cheesy as that sounds it's fucking true. I want you to become my wife; the only person I tell everything to and I know for a fact that what ever I tell you would never be spread around. I trust you. I brought you this ring, it's not much but it's all I could afford, when we make it in New York I'll make sure I get you a bigger more expensive ring because you deserve it. _

At this moment Rachel opened up the black box and tears sprang to her eyes, inside was a white gold banded ring with a gold star as the centre stone, instead of a flashy diamond Puck brought something that was 110% Rachel Berry.

_Tomorrow when we are at school, if you wear the engagement ring I will know your answer. You want and will become my wife. Please don't let one fuck up ruin our lives; I love you too much to ever let you go. So even if you don't wear it, I will never give up on you, ever Rachel. _

_Love Noah._

Rachel had a massive decision to make, but she already had her answer.

Xxxxx

The next day at school, Rachel arrived early, it was the day she informed Noah whether she could forgive his little outburst and continue on and become a Puckerman or let him sweat it out for a few more days. Making her way to her locker, Rachel exchanged her books over so she had the correct ones for her morning classes before making her way to the choir room. It was 8am, school didn't start for another forty five minutes and she assumed Puck would be there waiting for her; after all it kind of was their spot.

"Noah." Rachel greeted Puck softly as she walked inside the room with her hands interlaced behind her back.

"Rachel." Puck smiled. "D-did you get my letter?" Puck asked.

"Yes."

"And the ring?" Puck asked nervously.

"This one?" Rachel asked lifting her left hand up where she was wearing her beautiful engagement ring on her wedding finger.

"Yeah that one." Puck breathed out while smiling.

"Ask me." Rachel said softly.

It took a moment for Puck to figure out what she wanted before it clicked and he stood up and made it over to her as fast as lightning.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, will you marry me?" Puck asked with a smile.

"Noah Eli Puckerman, I would love to become your wife." Rachel smiled with tears in her eyes.

Jumping up Puck kissed Rachel and spun her around; Rachel wrapped her legs around her fiancee' and kissed him back passionately.

"I love you Noah." Rachel whispered.

"I love you too Rachel." Puck replied before kissing her again and again.

**A/N sorry about the short chapter review please!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N I own nothing! OMG who watched winter finale of glee Quinn cannot die!**

Chapter 20

"Mum I have something really big to tell you." Rachel smiled at Shelby while she was feeding Beth.

"What is it?" Shelby asked already having an idea on what her daughter was about to tell her.

"Noah and I; we are getting married!" Rachel smiled and showed her ring that had her beautiful engagement ring on it.

"Sweetie! That is amazing, my baby girl." Shelby gushed; stopping what she was doing with Beth and rushed over and gave her daughter a massive hug.

"Thank you. I hope daddy and dad are happy like you are." Rachel admitted.

"They will and if they're not I will talk to them, they haven't seen you two together like I have; you two are meant for each other." Shelby said sincerely.

"Thank you. You hear that Beth you are going to be a flower girl; the most beautiful flower girl ever!" Rachel smiled walking over to Beth who was smiling in her high chair and covered her little face with kisses.

Xxxxx

"How did you mum take it?" Rachel asked Noah over the phone that night.

"Well, she loves you and plus your you know Jewish so she doesn't care." Puck said honestly.

"H-how do you think everyone else is going to take it?" Rachel asked worriedly.

"Who the fuck cares Rach, all that matters is that we are happy; fuck everyone else." Puck said hearing the slight distress in Rachel's voice.

"I hope my parents are okay with it." Rachel said.

"I'm sure they will; they can't but in your life since they basically ditched you when you needed them the most; who looked after you, me!" Puck said getting annoyed.

"I'm not going to not marry you if they don't agree with it, I love you and I am so excited and happy to be Mrs Puckerman.

"Mhmm say it again." Puck smiled into the phone.

"Mrs Rachel Puckerman." Rachel whispered with a massive grin on her face.

"I love you Rach."

"I love you too Noah; see you at school tomorrow." Rachel replied before hanging up the phone with a smile that couldn't be taken away from her.

Xxxxx

Puck and Rachel waited until they had told Rachel's parents before they told the school community. Hiram and Leroy were cool with it all; they knew how much Puck loved Rachel, after all he had helped her through everything and never bailed once. Rachel thought it would be romantic to tell the glee club of their engagement during the Valentines week; which Puck agreed on because she promised him a blow job if he said yes; so yeah he said yes.

"Ah, Puck and Rachel you two had something to say?" Mr Shue asked the two teenagers.

"Yep." Puck said taking Rachel's hand and leading them up to the centre on the choir room.

"Noah and I are getting married." Rachel gushed showing off her ring.

"What?" Mercedes asked shocked.

"Go Puckleberry!" Brittany exclaimed.

"When is the baby due?" Quinn snapped.

"Excuse me I am not pregnant." Rachel said annoyed.

"Well that's the only reason why he would put a ring on you finger. Look at you." Quinn sneered.

Seeing that Puck was about to say something to Quinn, Rachel grabbed his arm and did it herself.

"No, you see when you aren't a slut; guys tend to fall in love with you and eventually put a ring on you. Your so cheap and easy that no guy bothers; why buy the cow when the milk if free? Isn't that the saying. I am so sick and tired of you treating me like shit; you have Finn, why can't you be happy with what you have. Just because you have realised what an amazing man Noah is doesn't mean you can have him. He is mine so back the fuck off!" Rachel yelled the last part getting right in Quinn's face.

Quinn death stared Rachel for a moment,

"You know if I wanted to I could get Beth back and Noah, you are nothing Rachel. Your mother chose MY child over you and I guarantee Puck will chose ME over YOU any day of the week." Quinn smirked.

Taken a back, Rachel stepped back. Would Noah chose Quinn over her; everyone else has; Finn chose Quinn, Shelby chose Quinn's daughter over her, would Noah do the same. Almost reading Rachel's mind Puck spoke up.

"I would rather never have sex ever again then lose Rachel especially over you. I love her and I never loved you."

"But in the hospital?" Quinn asked a little shocked and upset.

"I loved Beth, not you." Puck said honestly.

"Noah." Quinn pleaded taking a step forward with tears in her eyes.

"Only Rachel gets to call me Noah, to you and everyone else I'm Puck." Puck said coldly.

Smiling, Rachel looked over at Noah,

"Thank you Noah I love you." Rachel said and kissed him gently on the lips.

"What the fuck was that?" Finn demanded.

"W-what?" Quinn said panicked forgetting that her current boyfriend was in the room when she basically tried to get her ex back.

"Fuck this and fuck you,we are done Quinn." Finn snapped at Quinn before looking over at Puck and Rachel. "I'm happy for you guys sincerely." Finn smiled before looking back at Quinn frowning and storming out of the room with a crying Quinn behind him.

"Congrats guys." Santana ran up to her two best friends giving them a hug and bringing the attention back to the happy news; Puckleberry was getting married!

**A/N Sorry for the delay. I hate writing Quinn like this normally I have Faberry friendships but they will become friends because I couldn't go through writing another chapter like this! Lol R&R please.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N I own nothing! Thanks for all the reviews hope you guys enjoy :)**

Chapter 21

"I hope your happy Puck." Quinn snapped at Puck a few days later in the car park of McKinley, it was after school and Rachel was at cheerio's practise so Puck decided to wait around for her.

"What are you talking about crazy?" Puck asked.

"Finn dumped me!" Quinn exclaimed, "Because you had to go and make a point by proposing to RuPaul, just because I wouldn't take you back." Quinn sighed. "Guess it's my fault, for being to pretty."

"Okay hold up, I wanted you back at the start of LAST year," Puck empathised, "And I am not with Rachel to prove a point I am with her because I fucking love her; she's the one." Puck admitted coyly.

"W-what? I thought I was, we have a child together Noah!" Quinn said sadly.

"It's Puck to you and yeah we have a child, but Rachel; she and I are going to have a family together someday. I love Beth and I am grateful beyond words that I get to see her basically every single day but she's not my daughter, not really; she, she's Shelby's. At first I wasn't okay with excepting that but now, I understand it." Puck said maturely.

"What's with Rachel? Why does everyone love her." Quinn asked quietly with tears in her eyes.

"Because she's this amazing, loving, beautiful person inside and out; she is the strongest person I know and I love her." Puck told Quinn simply.

Looking over her shoulder and seeing Rachel, Santana and Brittany making their way to Puck; the three were in deep conversation and hadn't noticed Quinn talking to Puck yet, Quinn made her move; walking closer to Puck, placing her arms around his neck and kissing him right in front of Rachel who had definitely noticed that.

"Talk your way out of this one Puckerman." Quinn whispered in his ear before pushing Puck away. "Get off me Puck! You are getting married to Rachel! I will not sleep with you one last time." Quinn said with fake disgust.

"Puck what the actual fuck!" Santana screamed at him.

Puck looked over at Rachel who had tears in her eyes and began to speak.

"I swear to god Rachel she kissed me." Puck pleaded.

Shaking her head, Rachel wiped her tears away and clutched onto Santana's hand.

"Let's go back to your San." Rachel asked quietly trying not to cry any more, she knew she was right; everyone wanted Quinn fucking Fabray.

"Sure thing B." Santana said never once taking her eyes off Puck and Quinn; leading Rachel to her car with Brittany behind them, Santana drove off; ignoring Puck's pleas for them to stop the car and discuss this. Enraged, Puck turned to look at Quinn who was smirking.

"Whoops." Quinn smiled.

"I swear to fucking god Fabray if Rachel dumps me you will regret it!" Puck screamed in anger.

"How, how could you possibly make me suffer." Quinn smirked.

Smirking back himself Puck stepped closer to Quinn, who had shrunk back at the scary look on Puck's face.

"Two things, a) you will NEVER see Beth again, Shelby wouldn't allow the woman who 'broke' her daughter's relationship up be anywhere near her family and b) remember when you were knocked up, you didn't sit one single exam the whole time; paid others to hell even paid me; I expose that and you have to repeat your sophomore year. Have fun with that." Puck told Quinn sternly before making his way to his truck and to Santana's house, he had his relationship to fix.

Xxxxx

"How could he do this to me!" Rachel demanded an answer from her friends, in the space of the school to Santana's which was about ten minutes she went from depressed sad to furious.

"He clearly didn't." Santana said while fixing up her nails.

"What!" Rachel screeched, "Did you not see the same thing I saw?" Rachel asked.

"Of course, but when Puck saw you, he meant it when he said she kissed him; Puck's my boy and I know him, he wasn't lying to ya B. Promise." Santana said looking up at her friend.

Sighing Rachel sat down next to Brittany on the couch.

"You think so." Rachel asked again trying not to cry.

"Like I said promise and you know for a fact that I don't break or make promises if they aren't true or can't be kept." Santana said sincerely.

"I should talk to him." Rachel said after a moment of silence, "Can I use your phone?" Rachel asked.

"No need he just rocked up, he's in the drive way; Brit and I will leave you too alone to talk we will be in my room." Santana smiled.

"Lady kisses?" Brittany asked hopefully.

"Hell yes, don't come in unless one of you is dying." Santana threaten semi playfully to her friend before leading her girlfriend upstairs.

"Rachel I swear on Beth's life that Quinn kis-" Puck began to tell Rachel before she cut him off with a kiss.

"I know Noah; I believe you." Rachel whispered against his lips and kissed him again before pulling back.

"She's jealous, of me, you... us; this ring." Rachel says glancing at her ring, "What it represents, forever." Rachel smiled. "You never would of given me this ring if you were just going to through it all away to sleep with Fabray." Rachel said matter of factly.

"Fabray?" Puck smirked.

"Quinn is an amazing person, loyal, caring and believe it or not friendly; Fabray, it's impersonal, no emotions; kind of like Puck; she's acting like only half they amazing person she could be." Rachel said.

"You are amazing you know that." Puck smiles at Rachel lifting her off the ground and spinning her around before kissing her deeply. "And I love you so fucking much."

"And I love you too Noah, so much." Rachel giggles loudly when Puck begins to carry her to his truck.

Xxxxx

"I know what you did yesterday." Rachel says sternly corning Quinn in the bathroom. "You can't nor will you break Noah and I up, we love each other end of story."

"We'll see." Quinn smirks before she turns to face the mirror and applies more lip gloss.

Rolling her eyes, Rachel takes a deep breath, she vowed that she wasn't leaving this bathroom until she made Quinn agree to back the fuck off; as Noah would put it.

"Your in love with Sam aren't you." Rachel asks, seeing Quinn's shoulder's tensing she continues, "That's why you and Finn didn't work out you love Sam and you hate it that he is trying to get back with Mercedes."

"I have no idea about what you are talking about." Quinn says trying not to break down.

"Yes you do, you love Sam; even though Finn was your first love and you had a baby with Noah; you have the strongest feelings for Sam; you think he is the one." Rachel said matter of fact.

"H-how do you know that?" Quinn asks as she turns to face Rachel and wiping her tears from her eyes.

"Because, Noah is my the one. Finn was my first love, Jesse was an amazing learning experience and then there is Noah; he's always been there. When he was dating Lauren it broke my heart and I never knew why until a few months ago." Rachel says moving closer to Quinn.

"He doesn't love me any more. Why would he; I'm horrible." Quinn says finally letting her guard's down.

"Your not you know, horrible; trouble yes, but not horrible Quinn. He still loves you, once I worked it out a few weeks ago I've been watching you two in glee club; the way he looks at you is how I look at Noah and how he looks at me." Rachel smiles.

"I did kiss Puck yesterday, he didn't do anything to want it or ask for it." Quinn says after a few moments.

"I know. I didn't at first but I trust Noah I know he wouldn't cheat on me." Rachel replies. "We can be friends you know, it's our senior year Quinn, I think we could be a definite power friendship." Rachel laughs along with Quinn. "I could be there for you and I know you could do the same; I don't care about being popular so whatever happens I won't bail on you."

"I'd like that, and I'm sorry Rachel, sincerely." Quinn smiles a genuine smile.

"I know Quinn I'll see you in glee." Rachel smiles before leaving the bathroom, along with an apologetic Quinn Fabray.

**A/N yeah they are sort of friends haha.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N I own nothing! Sorry for the delay hope you guys like! So I am making this a LONG ASS story! Enjoy :)**

Chapter 22

"Rach look at these dresses aren't the gorgeous!" Brittany gushes showing Rachel the pictures of the wedding dresses.

Glancing at the dresses that had Brittany mesmerised, Rachel shook her head no.

"I can't wear that." Rachel said sadly.

"Why?" Brittany asked confused, Rachel would look stunning in that dress.

"Just, I just can't." Rachel said sadly before walking away from her friend.

Xxxxx

"So baby, you wanna tell me why you made Brit cry today?" Puck asked sitting next to Rachel on her bed.

"She cried!" Rachel said with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, told me and San that you didn't like the dress she suggested, don't worry San isn't mad at you." Puck said assuring his fiancee'.

"It's not that I didn't like the dress... in fact I loved it!" Rachel said sadly.

"Then why didn't you say you wanted it." Puck asked slightly confused.

"Because I'll look hideous." Rachel said trying not to cry.

"Your fucking beautiful you could wear a paper bag and you'd turn me on!" Puck said honestly.

"I don't want to get married in a wedding dress where everyone can see my scars." Rachel admitted quietly touching her belly wear Puck knew were her worst of her cuts.

"Rach-"

"No Noah, I want to look beautiful for you... for me... and that means I'll have to wear a dress that shows none of my skin! And what kind of a wedding dress is that!" Rachel sobbed.

"Baby, look at me," Puck asked, "Rachel." Puck said a little more seriously and when she finally looked up at him he cupped her face, "Your stunning, and the only people that are coming to our wedding is our parents and the glee club. They know how fucking far you have come and when they see you walking down the isle, when I see you walking down the isle; they won't see your cuts, they'll all see your beautiful smile. One that we never thought we'd see again." Puck said kissing her gently on the lips.

"Really?"

"Really, really. I promise." Puck said sincerely.

"I love you Noah." Rachel said before kissing her soon to be husband, "And when I walk down the isle to become Mrs Puckerman I'll feel like a million dollars, because they way you'll be staring at me, how could I not?"

Puck claimed Rachel's lips in a passionate kiss and pushed her down onto the bed and ran his hands up her dress,

"Your beautiful." Puck muttered to Rachel before slipping a finger inside her panties feeling them soaked for him.

"God Noah, oh..." Rachel moaned.

Removing her dress and panties, Puck removes his jeans and fists his hard cock. They have to be quick because they are babysitting Beth so taking a quick lick of her pussy Puck kisses Rachel's neck and slowly slides into her tight wet pussy.

"Oh fuck." Rachel moaned, she loved the feel of his cock inside of her.

"Rachel, fuck, so tight." Puck moaned,

"Fast, we gotta be quick." Rachel managed out,

Nodding his head, Puck lifted her leg so it was wrapped around his waist and began to thrust fast into her. Gripping onto his back, Rachel arched her back so sending Puck deeper inside of her.

"Oh god Noah, right there... RIGHT THERE!" Rachel yelled as she came loudly, forgetting about everything else sending Puck over the edge with her.

Just as Puck pulled out, Beth began to cry.

"Fuck, was I loud?" Rachel asked embarrassed.

"Are we Jewish?" Puck said with a laugh.

"Oh god!" Rachel said putting her panties and dress back on and fixing her hair before rushing into Beth's bedroom to sooth the little girl.

Xxxxx

"Beth are you going to eat for me please?" Puck begged his daughter who was refusing to eat her veggies.

"Nope!" Beth said with a smile before attempting to hit her dad in the face.

"Yep your definitely my kid, violent." Puck sighed with a laugh.

"Beth come here sweetie." Rachel smiled gently, Beth immediately lifted her arms up to Rachel who picked her out of her high chair.

"Look yummy!" Rachel smiled showing taking a bite from her mash potato making sure Beth saw her doing it.

"Yummy!" Beth beamed before putting her tiny hands in the mash potato and shoved it in her mouth.

"You are gunna be an amazing mum Rach." Puck said in awe watching how Rachel interacted with Beth.

"Noah..." Rachel said shyly, almost dismissively.

"No it's true. Our kids are gunna be so fucking lucky." Puck smiled kissing his beautiful fiancee'.

"Because they will have such an awesome daddy!" Rachel smiled at Noah.

"Yeah of course, our kids are gunna be bad ass!" Puck smirked.

"Just do me a favour." Rachel asked Noah, "No matter how many children we have always remember that Beth, she's your baby girl as well. I know what it's like to be rejected by a parent and this beautiful child... s-she doesn't deserve that pain Noah." Rachel said seriously looking down at her sister, before kissing her on the temple.

"I never will; she'll always be my first born." Puck said honestly. "I love her more then words."

"Thank you." Rachel whispered kissing Puck before helping him clean Beth up who had gone to town on the mash potato.

**A/N I will update a lot more often I forgot about this story but then re read it and fell in love with it again :) R&R please**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N I own nothing! Enjoy :) **

Chapter 23

Rachel stuck to her word and began to help Quinn win Sam back. It wasn't going to be easy because Sam was determined to win back Mercedes but like Rachel said, she knew Sam still loved Quinn, she was just guessing that he was worried that she would cheat again, they needed to make sure he knew she was serious about him. Since Quinn was hesitate, she didn't want her heart broken; Rachel took it apon herself to talk to Sam.

"Hey." Rachel smiled as she sat next to the blonde.

"Hey Rachel, how are you?" Sam smiled.

"Good," Rachel said, "You?"

"Alright," Sam sighed thinking about his love life.

"C-can I ask you something?" Rachel wondered out loud.

"Shoot."

"How long have you still been in love with Quinn?"

"What?" Sam asked, how the fuck did she know that.

"I've noticed some things lately, the way you look at her; is how Noah looks at me." Rachel smiled thinking of her soon to be husband.

"I don't, I love Mercedes." Sam tried to lie.

"No you don't Sam. You are only 'chasing' Mercedes to make Quinn jealous. Mercedes told me about your plan; us diva's gotta stick together. She still loves you." Rachel informed him.

"She'll just cheat again." Sam dismissed sadly.

"I don't think she will. She's grown up so much over the last six months, why do you think were friends." Rachel laughed lightly.

"Yeah," Sam chuckled, those two became friends out of left field. "But the way Puck looks at you, it's different. Your getting married."

"He was at one stage my biggest bully, slushies in the face every single day. Now I am going to be his wife, give Quinn a chance, it could be the best decision you'll ever make." Rachel said seriously before leaving the blonde with his thoughts.

Xxxxx

The afternoon in glee club, Sam announced that he had a song he'd like to sing... to Quinn.

_**Wise **__**men**__** say only fools rush in**__**  
><strong>__**But I can't help falling in **__**love**__** with you**__**  
><strong>__**Shall I stay**__**  
><strong>__**Would it be a sin**__**  
><strong>__**If I can't help falling in love with you**__****_

_**Like a river flows surely to the sea**__**  
><strong>__**Darling so it goes**__**  
><strong>__**Some things are meant to be**__**  
><strong>__**So take my hand, and take my whole life too**__**  
><strong>__**Cause I can't help falling in love with you **__****_

_**Like a river flows so surely to the sea**__**  
><strong>__**Oh my darling so it goes**__**  
><strong>__**Some things are meant to be**__**  
><strong>__**So won't you please take my hand, and take my whole life too**__**  
><strong>__**Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you**__**  
><strong>__**Cause I can't help falling in love, falling in love,**__**  
><strong>__**I keep falling in love with you**___

"I still love you Quinn, and after speaking to Rachel... would you like to go out on a date with me this Friday night?" Sam asked suddenly nervous.

Standing up and making her way over to Sam, Quinn wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing him gently.

"I'd love to. I'm not going to break your heart this time, I love you to much Sam." Quinn whispered against his lips.

"Your amazing." Noah mumbled into Rachel's ear before kissing his fiancee', now maybe Quinn and Sam would stop bitching about their love lives.

Xxxxx

Rachel and Noah were sitting on Rachel's bed looking at bridal magazines when Puck spoke suddenly.

"I know what I want our first dance song to be."

"You've been thinking about that?" Rachel smiled moving closer to Noah.

"Yeah, I know you have figured most of the shit out but I would really like it if you consider this song for our first dance." Puck asked.

"Anything you want Noah."

"It's Neil Diamond, were it all began I guess." Puck smiled before he began to sing the song he wanted to listen to when he first danced with his wife.

_**After all these years  
>After all these tears between us<br>Still I couldn't find  
><strong>__**Someone half as right as you  
>And each time I stop to think<br>What it is I **_really_** need  
>Here's what I conclude<br>All I really need is you**_

_**Just say what you want to say  
>You don't have a chance in the world<br>Can I, knowing how I've tried  
>Still come close to losing you, girl<br>When you are my world  
>Have I spent so many years<br>Trying but in vain to tell you  
>Don't you know it's true<br>All I really need is you**_

_**How was I to know  
>We'd have ended here<br>Where we finally did  
>You tied you life to mine Once upon a starry night<br>And when someone asks of me  
>What it is that I believe<br>Say, I believe it's true  
>All I really need is you<strong>_

_**Just say what you want to say  
>We don't have a chance in the world<br>Can I, knowin' how I've tried  
>Still come close to losing you, girl<br>When you are my world**_

_**Have I spent so many years  
>Tryin' but in vain to tell you<br>Feelings come and go  
>Me, I'm never gonna ever let you go<br>Promise you I'm gonna always love you so  
>'Cause all I really need is you<strong>_

"Yes, it's perfect." Rachel nodded fast, before kissing Noah in a loving and slow kiss. "I love you so much and your stuck with me forever." Rachel smiled playfully.

"Bring it." Puck smirked before he proceeded to make love to his beautiful fiancee'.

**A/N Short chapter :) R&R please.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N I own nothing!**

Chapter 24

"So Rachel how have you been feeling?" Dr Johnson asked during one of her routine visits, just because she was feeling 'better' didn't mean she was cured.

"Okay, my boyfriend proposed." Rachel gushed.

"Really?" Dr Johnson smiled, "Let me see the ring?" He smiled.

Lifting her left hand up, Rachel's engagement rings sparkled brightly, she loved her ring so much, it was her and she loved that Noah knew that a star instead of a diamond was more her thing.

"It's beautiful." Dr Johnson smiled.

"Thank you." Rachel whispered playing with her ring, twirling it on her finger like she always did when nervous.

"Well you medication isn't going to be upped, so you'll be on 50mg until I feel you need to be either put or put down, hopefully the latter." Dr Johnson said as he typed. "Have you been cutting Rachel?" Dr Johnson asked looking directly at her.

"No, my fiancee', h-he likes to check my body before bed. He thinks he's being discrete, by just making out with me, b-but I know what he's doing, I'm not dumb." Rachel says quietly.

"How is school?" Dr Johnson asked.

"Good, I'm very friendly with most of the people in glee club, my grades are getting back to where they were so it doesn't look like I'll have to repeat."

"I've stopped seeing my shrink." Rachel blurted out.

"I know, I was waiting for you to tell me." Dr Johnson admitted, "Why?"

"I feel like I don't need it, I'm better." Rachel said shyly.

"Just because you are feeling better doesn't mean you are. I see so many people relapse because they feel better and stop taking their meds or treatment, don't stop with this Rachel. You have so much to live for, some much going on, it would be the worst thing you would do." Dr Johnson informed her.

"So keep going?" Rachel sighed.

"Please." Dr Johnson assured.

"I will, promise." Rachel said in a shaky voice, going to a shrink for help made her feel abnormal, and she hated that feeling.

"Thank you." Dr Johnson smiled before he began typing up some details on her folder.

Xxxxx

"Hey sexy, how was your doctor's appointment?" Puck asked, Rachel had just walked into his bedroom she was spending the night, something his mother and Shelby didn't have a problem with... after all they were getting married.

"Alright, I can't wait until I'm normal." Rachel sighed plopping down on his bed.

"You are normal Rach." Puck reassured her.

"That's not what you thought freshman year." Rachel blurted out.

"Rach-"

"I'm sorry Noah, it's just be a hard day." Rachel sighed with tears in her eyes. "I want to be perfect for you, the perfect wife, lover and partner, but I can't because everyone is babying me, Shelby asked constantly, so does San, Brit and Quinn. You check my body every night..." Seeing he was about to say something in disagreement, Rachel continued, "Don't pretend that you don't Noah, I'm not dumb."

"I just get worried babe." Puck admitted knowing he had been busted.

"I know, but it makes me feel like you don't trust me." Rachel breathed in deeply, "And if we are going to get married, you need to know that if I'm having a bad day or feel like hurting myself, that I'll talk to you."

"Your right, I'm sorry." Puck said sincerely.

"I know, but thank you. I know you're just worried about me... it's kind of sexy." Rachel smiled.

"Really?" Puck whispered moving closer to her.

"Yeah, I know how much you love me." Rachel mumbled before kissing Puck on the lips, "How much I mean to you." She said before kissing his neck, "I love you Noah."

"Love you too baby." Puck smiled before laying her down on his bed and began to show her just how much she meant to him.

Xxxxx

"Love Songs." Mr Shue announced when he walked into the choir room the following Monday afternoon.

"What about them?" Brittany asked confused.

"It's what we will be singing this week. A love song, to somebody, either romantic love or friendship, brother, sister etc. Any kind of love." Mr Shue smiled. "Who ever wins, gets the solo for Nationals, which is in New York!"

"New York!" Rachel said with a smile Mr Shue hadn't seen in a while.

"Yes Rachel New York I thought you'd be thrilled." Mr Shue smiled at his student.

"Noah it's New York." Rachel gushed!

"I know baby." Puck smiled, he loved when Rachel was happy.

"We should get married, in times square!" Rachel said jumping out of her seat facing her fiancee'.

"Really?" Puck asked shocked that was in two months,

"Yes, bring your mum and sister, my daddy's and the club club will already be there. Plus it's New York Noah, we'll be spending our lives there and every time we walk past the spot we were married, whether that's time square or a random area hell even a court, we'll know that's where it really all began." Rachel smiled.

"Sounds perfect baby." Puck said thinking about it, New York was their end game why not make it from where they started.

"Love you." Rachel smiled, kissing Noah sitting on his lap.

"Okay guys, as happy as I am for you, that's enough." Mr Shue said breaking the couple up from sucking face.

"Sorry." Rachel said lightly, "I have another announcement." Rachel said.

"Your pregnant?" Artie joked.

"No." Rachel and Puck said seriously.

"I just wanted to say, I've been thinking about my bridal party and after Noah and I agreed only to have one person next to us I've made my choice. Santana, I'd be honoured if you would be my bridesmaid of honour." Rachel smiled brightly at her best friend.

"I'd love to." Santana said straight away with tears in her eyes, getting up and hugged her best friend tightly. "I love you Rach, it would mean the world to me to see you, all of you," Santana said knowing about Rachel's fear of showing her scars on her wedding day, "Walking down the isle looking beautiful and becoming a Puckerman."

Being Rachel, all she did was cry. For the first time in a long time she felt accepted.

"Mr Shue I want to sing my song. I was going to sing one to Brittany but, Rachel you have been through hell and back and I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. Your perfect."

_Made a wrong turn once or twice  
>Dug my way out, blood and fire<br>Bad decisions, that's alright  
>Welcome to my silly life<span>_

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
>Miss 'No way, it's all good'<br>__It didn't slow me down.  
>Mistaken, always second guessing<br>Underestimated, look I'm still around_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
>Like you're less than fucking perfect<br>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
>Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me<em>

_You're so mean when you talk  
>About <em>yourself_. You were wrong.  
>Change the voices in your <span>_head_  
>Make them like you instead.<span>_

_So complicated,  
>Look <em>happy_, You'll make it!  
>Filled with so much hatred<br>Such a tired game  
>It's enough, I've done all I could think of<br>Chased down all my demons  
>I've seen you do the same<br>(Ohh ohhhhhhh)_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
>Like you're less than fucking perfect<br>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
>Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me<em>

_The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear  
>The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer<br>So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard  
>And it's a waste of my time.<br>Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere  
>They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair<br>Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time  
>Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?<em>

_(Yeah!)  
>I'm Pretty, pretty, pretty<em>

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
>Like you're less than fucking perfect<br>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
>Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me<br>(You're perfect, you're perfect)  
>Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel<br>Like you're less than fucking perfect.  
>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel<br>Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me._

"Love you too San." Rachel smiled at the girl fastly becoming her sister.

**A/N Liked it? R&R please**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N I own nothing! Enjoy :) I love writing this story it means a lot to me that you guys love it. Battling depression isn't easy, I am still battling I don't think you ever get cured but it would have been amazing if Puck had helped me haha lol. Just remember never give up and coming from a person who has been there, cutting isn't the answer it doesn't work, so talk instead, it seems silly but trust me it helps more then any blade will.**

Chapter 25

"Love songs, so whose up first?" Mr Shue asked the group.

"I'll go." Puck said moving to the front of the room, "Everyone knows who this is for." He smiled looking at Rachel who was grinning and playing with her engagement ring.

_**You are so beautiful  
>To me<br>You are so beautiful  
>To me<br>Can't you see  
>You're everything I hoped for<br>You're everything I need  
>You are so beautiful<br>To me**_

_**You are so beautiful  
>To me<br>You are so beautiful  
>To me<br>Can't you see  
>You're everything I hoped for<br>You're everything I need**_

_**You are so beautiful  
>You are so beautiful<br>**_You are so beautiful_**  
>To me<strong>_

"My wife to be is sexy!" Puck declared in front of everyone, making everyone laugh, Rachel being the loudest.

Xxxxx

"Noah, Shelby and I have booked the park in New York were we are having the wedding, it's gorgeous and it's near the hotel we are all staying at for Nationals." Rachel told Puck while they were looking after Beth, Shelby had a meeting at the school.

"So it's not Central?" Puck asked while feeding Beth.

"No, everyone gets married there but I wanted someone relatively unknown, simple. So many things in my life aren't that, they aren't simple that I just want my wedding to be perfect, small and loving... intimate." Rachel said.

"Sounds amazing baby." Puck smiled at his wife to be.

"I can't wait to me a Puckerman, for everyone to know that I am married to an amazing guy." Rachel beamed.

"Can't wait for you to be a Puckerman, we are a pretty kick ass bunch of people." Puck smirked. "Except for sperm donor." Puck added.

"Noah." Rachel said softly, she knew how hard it was for Puck to talk about his dad.

"You know when we have kids I won't abandon you or them." Puck said seriously.

"I know that." Rachel replied honestly.

"Ma never thought he'd bail either... But I swear on our marriage, on everything in my being I will always be yours Rachel. Always." Puck said fiercely.

Sitting down next to Noah, Rachel cupped his face and kissed his lips gently.

"I know that you will NEVER leave me, you'll be there for me always, I think you have proved that." Rachel said glancing at her scars on her wrists, seeing this Puck laid a quick kiss on them before she continued, "You'll be there when I first find out I'm, we're pregnant, be there for the first and every ultrasound after that, hold my hand when I'm giving birth and taking the abuse." Rachel laughed lightly, "Seeing our son or daughter take their first breath, step, say their first word, their first day at school, high school, losing their first tooth. Everything, every single child we have whether that be one or five, you'll be an amazing father Noah. Just look at you and Beth." Rachel smiled.

"I love you Rachel." Was all Puck replied.

"I love you too Noah." Rachel smiled.

"Noah!" Beth giggled.

"D-Did she just say?" Puck asked staring at his first daughter.

"Yes." Rachel smiled laughing loudly,

"Noah, Noah, Noah!" Beth repeated.

"She said my name!" Puck beamed before picking her up and kissing the baby girl all over her face.

"Yes, she did." Rachel smiled, she knew how much this would mean to him; how long he's wanted Beth to recognise him and if she couldn't call him dad, Noah was definitely the next best thing.

Xxxxx

_**Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you  
>I'm not alone, tell me you feel it too<strong>_

_**And I would run away  
>I would run away, yeah..., yeah<br>I would run away  
>I would run away with you<strong>_

_**Cause I am falling in **_love_** with you  
>No never I'm never gonna stop<br>Falling in love with you**_

_**Close the door, lay down upon the **_floor_**  
>And by candlelight, make love to me through the night<br>(through the night, through the night...)**_

_**Cause I have run away  
>I have run away, yeah..., yeah<br>I have run away, run away  
>I have run away with you<strong>_

_**Cause I am falling in love (falling in love) with you  
>No never I'm never gonna stop<br>Falling in love with you...  
>With you...<strong>_

_**And I would runaway  
>I would runaway, yeah..., yeah<br>I would runaway (runaway)  
>I would runaway with you<strong>_

_**Cause I am falling in love (falling in love) with you  
>No never I'm never gonna stop<br>Falling in love with you...**_

_**Falling in love (falling in love) with you  
>No never I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you<strong>_

_**With you, my love, with you...  
>na ni na ni na na...<br>(With you, with you, with you, with you)**_

_**[Fade out]**_

"Rachel beautiful as always." Mr Shue complimented.

"Thank you." Rachel smiled still staring at Noah.

Xxxxx

"Do you know how sexy you are Rachel?" Puck asked his fiancee' as they laid down in his bed.

"Very?" Rachel smiled biting her lip gently.

"Super sexy." Puck whispers before kissing Rachel roughly.

"God Noah, fuck me." Rachel moaned out.

"Hottest thing you have ever said." Puck groaned before he scrunched her dress up about her waist and literally ripped her panties, removing his jeans and boxers; Rachel pumped his length a few times before sliding the condom on that she had ripped open while Noah undressed,

"Hurry." Rachel begged.

"Oh fuck." Puck moaned as he slid inside Rachel's tight pussy, he lifted her leg up around his waist, placed his hand on the wall above his bed frame and pounded into her fastly.

"Noah..." Rachel moaned, feeling herself getting wetter, the only sound that could be hurt loudly was their two body's connecting over and over again.

"Fuck Rachel, your dripping." Puck muttered in her ear.

"All for you Noah." Rachel moaned wrapping her legs around his waist sending him in deeper.

"Oh fuck!" Rachel moaned loudly when he hit her g-spot with the tip of his cock over and over again. "Right there Noah, don't stop, don't fucking stop, GOD!" Rachel exploded around his cock, cumming harder then she had ever cum.

"You feel so good, your little pussy wrapped around my cock baby." Puck mumbled knowing how much she loved dirty talk before flipping them over so Rachel was on top. "Ride me, ride my cock, nice and hard." Puck demanded.

Shuttering at the order, Rachel placed her hands on Noah's chest and lifted herself up before impaling herself back on his rock hard cock.

"Like that Noah?" Rachel asked innocently as she was riding him hard and fast.

"Fuck yes." Puck hissed, attaching his hands onto her hips to guide her moments to make her go fast.

Feeling himself about to cum, Puck placed one hand on Rachel's clit and began to rub in a sharp circle nice and hard,

"**N-N-NOAH!" **Rachel screamed as she came around Noah's cock for a second time sending Puck over the edge chanting Rachel's name.

Slipping out of her, Puck tied up the condom before throwing it into the bin next to his bed,

"Damn. Thank fuck we are here alone." Puck chuckled.

Embarrassed, Rachel buried her head into Puck's chest.

"Don't be shy Rachel, your gunna be my wife and as your husband it's my fucking duty to make you cum like that every time we have sex." Puck smirked, "I'd be ashamed if I didn't." Puck added seriously.

"Do you have a cloth?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Why?"

"Because, I think the condom broke." Rachel whispered gesturing to Noah's cum that was slowly starting to trickle out of her.

"Fuck." Puck said staring at his fiancee' pussy and not in a good way.

"Yeah, fuck is right." Rachel sighed, standing up and walking into the bathroom to clean herself up.

**A/N should Rachel get knocked up or not just yet up to you guys **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N I own nothing! Overwhelming response and if you have read the reviews you'll know which way I'm going to go.**

Chapter 26

So thinking that you are pregnant at 18 is fucking scary, especially if your destined for greatness like Rachel is. She wanted to have children with Puck one day but just not yet; maybe after her first Tony award, yes that sounds much better then right now...

"I got like all the fucking test I could find." Puck said handing Rachel ten pregnancy tests, it had been two weeks since the incident and now it was the perfect time to test whether they weren't just getting married but starting a family.

"Just remember Rach," Puck said grabbing onto her hand, "No matter what the results I'll be there for you all the way, I promise."

"I know Noah, I know you will." Rachel said kissing Noah on the lips before grabbing one of the test (that wasn't making her pee in a cup, yuck!) and made her way to the bathroom.

Those next three minutes were the longest three minutes of their lives,

Rachel emerged with the pregnancy test in her hand, tears in her eyes.

"I'm not pregnant." Rachel uttered.

Feeling slightly disappointed, just like he knew his fiancee' was, even though they were young, they loved each other and having a child wouldn't be the worst thing, but at the same time they were both relieved.

"I know it's silly to cry over something that wasn't there, but... Noah it could have been our baby." Rachel whispered wiping away her tears.

"I know baby, I know." Puck cooed kissing her temple and just stared at the test.

Xxxxx

"Rachel, Santana, Tina and I have a song we'd like to perform." Quinn told Mr Shue, as the four girls grabbed stools and set up in the middle of the room.

"Go for it." Mr Shue smiled.

"We were thinking this could be a contender for Nationals." Rachel smiled before nodding to Brad to begin playing.

___**[Rachel:]**__**  
><strong>__**The first time, ever I saw your face**__**  
><strong>__**I thought the sun rose in your eyes**__****_

_**[Tina:]**__**  
><strong>__**And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave**__****_

_**[Tina with ND Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**To the dark, and the endless skies, my Love.**__****_

_**[Quinn:]**__**  
><strong>__**The first time ever I kissed your mouth**__**  
><strong>__**I felt the earth move in my hand**__****_

_**[Tina:]**__**  
><strong>__**Like the trembling heart of a captive bird**__****_

_**[Tina with ND Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**That was there at my command, my love**__****_

_**[Santana:]**__**  
><strong>__**And the first time, ever I lay with you**__**  
><strong>__**I felt your heart so close to mine**__****_

_**[Quinn:]**__**  
><strong>__**And I knew our joy, would fill the earth**__****_

_**[Tina with ND Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**And last, til the end of time, my Love.**__****_

_**[Rachel:]**__**  
><strong>__**The first time, ever I saw**__****_

_**[Tina with New Directions Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**Your face**__**  
><strong>__**[Quinn with New Directions Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**Your face**__**  
><strong>__**[Santana with New Directions Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**Your face**__**  
><strong>__**[Rachel with New Directions Girls:]**__**  
><strong>__**Your face**___

"Beautiful." Shelby smiled from the doorway.

"Thanks." Rachel said on behalf of the girls,

"I don't know about you Will but I think that's our opening number?" Shelby smiled.

"Agreed." Mr Shue smiled at the girls who were currently trying to hold in their screams.

"I was thinking since we have had such a rough year," Shelby said looking at Rachel who ducked her head, "We should have an inspirational performance, that as the opening number; Rachel singing an amazing solo and finishing with a big, happy and bright group number." Shelby suggested.

Smiling, everyone agreed that was the best way to win Nationals.

Xxxxx

"When was the first time you saw my face?" Puck asked Rachel randomly, he was staying at her place; their parents didn't care about them sharing a bed, they might if they knew about the pregnancy scare but that was still between just them,

"When we were 7." Rachel smiled, turning to face Puck so their noses where almost touching.

"And... what did ya think?" Puck smirked.

"Where is this coming from?" Rachel wondered out loud.

"Your song, got me thinking; if you want I'll go first." Puck said before he told her about how he met her, "We were 6, I'd seen you at temple but you never saw me. I thought you were beautiful even at that age. Then my dad left, and I got jealous." Puck whispered, "Why did you have two dad's when I didn't have one." Puck said sadly.

"Noah." Rachel mumbled touching his cheek gently but letting him continue.

"So I pushed my feelings down and became Puck. By high school, I-I started the slushing, which I'm really sorry about." Puck added kissing her forehead. "But I still thought you were beautiful, I was always drawn to you... always. And then you were mooning over Finn and I got jealous so when Quinn came to me I didn't turn her down. Then when we had Beth I was pleased that she went to Shelby, because she'd be linked to you and that would mean I might get to see you after school. Then you got sick, and I couldn't stand by and let the girl that I'd loved since I was 6 slowly kill herself." Puck whispered with tears falling down his cheek.

"Noah." Rachel cried kissing him gently, "I love you. So much. Your my hero." Rachel admitted.

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you, you saved me. Without your love and acceptance I'd be dead." Rachel admitted before crying as the situation hit her, "I'd be dead." She whispered pathetically.

Letting her cry, and himself for a bit before he pulled away and told Rachel it was her go.

"L-Like I said we were 7, and I thought you were handsome, but you were also mean which now I understand. Then high school rolled around and you started the slushies,"

"Which I am super sorry about." Puck interjected.

"I know, but I always thought you were, s-sexy." Rachel admitted coyly.

"Really?" Puck smirked.

"Yes," Rachel smiled, "I had always had a crush on you.. in fact you were my first crush, my first for a lot of things; my first boyfriend, kiss, making out and my first time."

"And last." Puck reminded her.

"And last." Rachel easily agreed. "I didn't want to feel those things because I thought you wouldn't like me... I wasn't as pretty as Quinn, Brittany and Santana so I went for Finn who showed a little amount of interest even though he had a girlfriend. But then senior year happened and I lost myself. I became, nothing;" Holding her hand up to Puck who was about to say something but he let her continue after the gesture "I felt like a loser, worthless. So I started the drugs, drinking and cutting; it worked for a while but then I realised all I wanted was acceptance, and I never ever feel more accepted or loved as I do when I'm with you." Rachel smiled. "Your my soul mate Noah."

"Your mine too." Puck said letting himself give into his feelings for once.

"I can't wait to sign my name as Rachel Barbra Puckerman." Rachel beamed.

"Neither." Puck smiled picturing her signing the marriage certificate.

They made love that night, this time without the condom breaking.

**A/N Love it? Do you guys want me to keep going through collage? Or end it after Nationals.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N I own nothing! So this story is going to keep going! It's so personal to me and I love writing this so I'll keep writing until you guys get sick of it :) And yes I know Rachel's dad's names have changed lol sorry about that :P**

Chapter 27

"What song are you going to sing for Nationals?" Santana wondered.

"I have no idea, what do you think I should sing?" Rachel asked.

"It's your call B, but it should be something about you kicking as and overcoming every single thing that people have tried to throw in your way." Santana offered.

"Maybe." Rachel hummed, thinking over he options.

Xxxxx

"Rachel you said you had a song you'd like to sing?" Shelby asked during glee.

"Yes, it's not the song I am going to be singing for Nationals but it's a long the lines, I'm a survivor." Rachel smiled before the band began to play.

_**You could never know what it's like  
>Your blood like winter freezes just like ice<br>And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you  
>You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use<strong>_

_**And did you think this fool could never **_win_**  
>Well look at me, I'm coming back again<br>I got a taste of love in a simple way  
>And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away<strong>_

_**Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did  
>Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid<br>I'm still standing after all this time  
>Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind<strong>_

_**I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah  
>I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah<strong>_

Once_** I never could hope to win  
>You starting down the road leaving me again<br>The threats you made were meant to cut me down  
>And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now<strong>_

Rachel couldn't wipe the huge smile off her face, she's still standing.

"And I have an announcement, we'll Noah and I have one, we have booked the place for the wedding, it's the day after Nationals so win or lose we will have a reason to celebrate." Rachel beamed.

"That's awesome, what park? Central?" Artie asked.

"No, it's a smaller park near the hotel we are staying at, we wanted something small and elegant." Puck smiled, "Rachel's words not mine." He added with a smirk causing people to laugh.

"Can't wait bitches, now all we need is my bridesmaid dress and your wedding dress and we are half way there!" Santana reminded Rachel.

"Shit." Rachel said with eyebrows raised, "I forgot about the dress, to be honest I've kind of been avoiding it."

"You'll look beautiful and sexy in any dress. Promise." Santana smiled, Puck nodding his head in agreement, actually the whole glee club was.

"Stunning." Mercedes smiled.

"Gorgeous." Quinn added.

"Like a star." Kurt added knowing how much those words would mean to the young bride to be.

"Thank you." Rachel blushed before moving and sitting on Noah's lap.

"Eatable." Puck whispered with a leer smirking at Rachel.

"Noah." Rachel said in a scandalous tone but was laughing loudly.

"S'true." Puck smirked before turning his attention back to Shelby and Mr Shue.

Biting her lip looking at Noah, Rachel realised... her life was pretty great.

Xxxxx

"What do you mean you can't come!" Rachel asked her father's brokenly over the phone.

"We have a very important interview, it could make or break my career." Hiram said in a hushed tone.

"B-But it's my wedding, who will give me away?" Rachel asked with tears down her face.

"Post pone it?" Leroy said almost wondering why Rachel had already suggested it.

"No." Rachel said firmly shocking her fathers, "I have put my life on hold for to long, organising my life and plans around you. If you love me and want to see your little girl getting married, be there, on the day the invite says." Rachel snapped before hanging up the phone and straight into Shelby's arms who was waiting for her.

"They will come baby girl. They'll come." Shelby repeated, trying to sooth her child but in the back of her mind, Shelby was doubting whether Hiram and Leroy would show up in a months time.

Xxxxx

"What about this one?" Puck asked Rachel he thought chicks were meant to be really into their wedding so why was he the one showing her flowers for the centrepieces.

"Sure." Rachel mumbled.

"Okay so now I know you are paying attention because you fucking hate daisies. Spill." Puck said closing the flower magazine.

"My dad's aren't coming to the wedding."

"What? Why?" Puck asked seeing how upset Rachel was.

"Apparently, their jobs are more important then me." Rachel sobbed.

"Rachel..." Puck began but was cut off.

"I cut myself again." Rachel admitted before bursting into tears and into the arms of her fiancee'.

"Where?"Puck asked.

"My stomach." Rachel muttered.

Lifting her shirt up, Puck had tears in his eyes, he never wanted his love to suffer, to hurt and right now she was hurting herself.

"Baby." Puck said kissing her wounds even though they were still bleeding, "Don't let them get to you Rachel, I fucking beg you." Puck pleaded.

"But their my parents..." Rachel cried.

"And they don't know how amazing you are, please... talk to me, or Shelby even San just don't do this." Puck said gesturing to her cuts.

"Moment of weakness I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry, it's not your fault your hurting." Puck mumbled into her hair.

"I love you Rachel always remember that."

"I know, I love you too Noah." Rachel whispered, they fell asleep with both of their hands on her belly, Puck trying to heal her wounds through his touch.

**A/N There will always be set backs but it won't beat Rachel promise!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N I own nothing! Getting closer to Nationals people! Both on the show and in the story :)**

Chapter 28

"Mr Shue may I speak with you?" Rachel asked her teacher after glee practise.

"Of course Rachel, are you okay." Mr Shue asked seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"Could you walk me down the isle." Rachel blurted out fastly.

"Excuse me?" Mr Shue asked not sure he heard correctly.

"Can you walk me down the isle." Rachel asked nervously.

"W-what about your dad's?" Mr Shue asked not understanding why she was asking him.

"We had a conversation a week ago, they aren't coming because they have work. When I told them Noah and I aren't changing the date of our wedding I gave them an ultimatum; they called me this morning saying that if they didn't come they would get fired; so they chose work over me... their only daughter's wedding." Rachel whispered sobbing towards the end.

"Rachel." Mr Shue whispered hugging the girl, he knew how much she had been through and he didn't want to see her falling back down. "I'd be honoured," He smiled sincerely.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked wiping her tears away.

"I can't wait." Mr Shue said honestly.

"Thank you. Will." Rachel smiled, she figured if he was walking down the isle for this conversation she could address him by his first name.

"No problems Rachel or should I say future Mrs Puckerman." Mr Shue smiled nudging Rachel's arm.

"Yes, you should." She laughed, feeling a little bit better.

Xxxxx

"So dad and daddy aren't coming." Rachel informed Noah that night.

"What the actual fuck?" Puck said his head snapping in the direction that Rachel was.

"They were told if they went to our wedding they'd get fired." Rachel said sadly.

"Baby." Puck cooed.

"Don't." Rachel said putting her hands up, "Just don't." Rachel sighed, taking the wedding magazine she was reading and leaving her bedroom.

Xxxxx

"Why aren't you two coming? Rachel is fucking devastated." Puck yelled into the phone.

"Noah." Leroy tried to reason.

"It's Puck to you. She's your child, your ONLY child. I can tell you if you don't show up to her wedding, then... your gunna lose her forever." Puck sighed before hanging up. Praying the two would change their minds.

Xxxxx

"Rachel you wanted to sing?" Shelby asked her daughter during glee club rehearsal.

"Yes." Rachel nodded moving to the centre on the choir room, nodding to Brad and the band they began to play.

_**God - our heavenly Father.  
>Oh, God - and my father<br>Who is also in heaven.  
>May the light<br>Of this flickering candle  
>Illuminate the night the way<br>Your spirit illuminates my soul.**_

_**Papa, can you hear me?  
>Papa, can you see me?<br>Papa, can you hear me in the night?**_

_**Papa, are you near me?  
>Papa, can you hear me?<br>Papa, can you help me not be frightened?**_

_**Looking at the skies  
>I seem to see a million eyes<br>Which ones are yours?  
>Where are you now that yesterday<br>Has come and gone?  
>And closed its doors?<br>The night is so much darker.  
>The wind is so much colder<strong>_

_**The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone.**_

_**Papa, **_please_** forgive me.  
>Try to understand me.<br>Papa, don't you know I had no choice?**_

_**Can you hear me praying,  
>Anything I'm saying,<br>Even though the night is **_filled_** with voices?**_

_**I remember ev'rything you taught me  
>Ev'ry book I've ever read.<br>**__**Can all the words in all the books  
>Help me to face what lies ahead?<br>The trees are so much taller  
>And I feel so much smaller.<br>The moon is twice as lonely  
>And the stars are half as bright.<strong>_

_**Papa, how I **_love_** you.  
>Papa, how I need you.<br>Papa, how I miss you  
>Kissing me goodnight.<strong>_

"Rachel are you okay?" Quinn asked worried about her friend.

"M-My father's aren't attending my wedding." Rachel told the group who gasped.

"How could they?" Santana asked getting really angry with Leroy and Hiram.

"Because we didn't know how stupid we were being." Hiram said from the door way.

"Daddy?" Rachel turned around with tears in her eyes.

"We have dreamt of walking you down the isle since Shelby fell pregnant with you. Giving you away to the man that you loved and who loved you." Leroy told his daughter.

"But we got blinded, by work and stuff that wasn't important. We were there when our baby girl was hurting... hurting herself. We didn't help you or hold your hand or kiss you goodnight, tuck you in... protect you." Hiram added, tears falling down his face.

"We forgot that, no matter how old you get you will always be our baby girl and you will need us at times." Leroy whispered walking towards his child with his husband's hand in his.

"If it's okay we'd love to walk you down the isle, our princess." Hiram smiled.

"And we have asked Hiram's work for a relocation move, in a month we will be moving to New York. Even though we will be there a few months before you; when you do attend school and move there, you're daddy's will be right near you. Holding your hand, if you want us to." Leroy smiled.

"I love you daddies." Rachel cried letting her father's hug her, it's all she ever wanted.

_**Leroy **Hiram Both _ **Rachel**

_**There's two things I know for sure. **_

Leroy began to sing_**  
>She was sent here from heaven, and she's daddy's little girl.<br>**_

_As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, she talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.  
>And I thank God for all the joy in my life,<br>Oh, but most of all, for..._

_****__Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.  
><span>__Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.  
>"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride."<br>"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried."  
>Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right<br>To deserve a huge every morning and butterfly kisses at night .  
><span>__**  
><strong>__Sweet sixteen today,  
>She's looking like her momma a little more every day.<br>One part woman, the other part girl.  
>To perfume and make up, from ribbons and curls.<em>

_****_**Trying her wings out in a great big world.  
>But I remember...<br>Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.**

_****__Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.  
>"You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don't mind,<br>I'm only going to kiss you on the cheek this time."  
>Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right.<br>To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night._

_****__All the precious time ... Like the wind, the years _go_ by  
>Precious butterfly ... Spread your wings and fly<span>_

Hiram looked into Rachel's eyes and sang the next verse with more feeling then she'd ever seen her father show.

_****__She'll change her name today.  
>She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.<br>Standing in the bride room just staring at her,  
>she asked me what I'm thinking, and I said "I'm not sure,<br>I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." Then she leaned over... and gave me..._

_****__Butterfly kisses, with her mama there sticking little flowers all up in her hair_

_****_**"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it's just about time"**_**  
><strong>_**"Does my **wedding** gown look pretty, daddy?" "Daddy, don't cry."**

Rachel sung looking at both of her father's.

_****__Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right  
>To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses<br>I couldn't _ask_ God for more. Man, this is what love is.  
>I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember<br>every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses..._

"We love you baby girl." They both said at the same time.

"I love you too." Rachel smiled and hugged her parents again before motioning for Shelby to join them. "My parents." Rachel said seriously.

"Your parents." The three adults agreed before hugging her again.

Moving out of their grip after a moment, Rachel walked over to Noah,

"My husband." Rachel whispered knowing he must of spoken to her father's.

"My wife." Puck replied before kissing her gently.

**A/N R&R please!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N I own nothing! **

Chapter 29

"I have an idea for Nationals." Rachel said to everyone in glee club two weeks before Nationals.

"What is it Rach?" Mr Shue asked looking up at the petite girl.

"Nationals, to win it we need star power. And that means picking the BEST songs and who is one of the best artists out there?" Rachel asked, "Adele."

"Oh girl I love her!" Mercedes agreed easily.

"Everyone does, we perform her songs and nothing but her songs for Nationals." Rachel smiled, everyone loving the idea.

"Perfect babe." Puck smiled at his future wife.

"Agreed, Rachel we will use your idea." Mr Shue smiled.

"Thanks." Rachel beamed, not expecting anyone to like her idea, but loved that they did.

"No thank you Rachel, with this idea we are going to win Nationals!" Exclaimed Kurt.

Xxxxx

"Agh, I am never going to find the perfect dress!" Rachel pouted getting very frustrated.

"Rachel look at me, we are going to find the perfect dress for you, your you; you'd look amazing in a brown paper bag." Santana reassured her best friend.

"Seriously?" Rachel asked with teary eyes.

"Would I lie to you." Santana offered, shaking her head no, Rachel turned so Santana could unzip her and went into the changing room to try on another dress.

After another hour and a half, Rachel emerged from the changing room with a huge smile on her face, she had found it; the dress she would become Mrs Puckerman in. It was a simple white gown, tightly hugging her body showing of her stunning features, covering her feet; she looked like a billion bucks, Rachel Berry looked beautiful.

"Wow." Was all Santana could say staring at her best friend with tears in her eyes, "Y-You look, stunning Rach."

"Really?" Rachel asked nervously, flatting the fabric clinging to her stomach.

"Beautiful." Santana managed out before giving Rachel a tight hug, "I am so proud of you Rachel." Santana whispered.

"Why?" Rachel asked, extremely emotional.

"You have come so fucking far, and now your getting married! You look like a princess, Puck's Jewish American Princess. I-I'm just so happy that I am here with you, helping you with your wedding. That your alive and kicking ass." Santana said in between sobs, lightly touching Rachel's scars. "I love you Rachel."

"I love you too San." Rachel sobbed hugging her friend again, tighter this time. "My sis."

"Totally." Santana smiled kissing Rachel on the temple. Wiping both of their tears away, Santana smirked, "Puck's gunna faint when he sees you." before adding, "Instant boner."

Laughing, Rachel smiled and looked at the price tag.

"1500 dollars, marked down from $5000; I think I have to get it. Thank god for my parents credit cards." Rachel laughed, walking back into the changing room after being unzipped.

Rachel had found her wedding dress.

Xxxxx

New Direction were here; they were finally in New York City.

"I can't believe we are getting married in two days Noah; two days!" Rachel beamed at her very soon to be husband in their hotel room.

Mr Shue and Shelby had agreed to let them share a hotel room after all they were about to get married.

"I know baby, two days and you'll be all mine." Puck declared before kissing his fiancee'.

"I already am Noah." Rachel whispered, kissing him again.

"As much as I want to make love to you right now, we have fucking rehearsal." Puck groaned playfully.

"Yes, yes we do." Rachel smiled, "Tonight?" Rachel said knowing his answer.

"Of course."

Xxxxx

"Okay guys, we are last to perform." Mr Shue told the group who were waiting in the green room.

"Bring it!" Puck smirked making everyone nod their heads in agreement.

The girls were wearing purple dresses that cut of at the knee with a black ribbon wrapped around their waists, their hair curled and wearing black heels. The boys were wearing black dress shirts and pants with black shoes with a bring purple tie to match the girls.

Xxxxx

"Next up the New Directions!" The announcer spoke into the microphone, before leaving the stage only for Rachel to walk to the centre of it by herself with the spotlight firmly on her.

**When will I see you again?  
>You left with no goodbye,<br>Not a ****single**** word was said,  
>No final kiss to seal any sins,<br>I had no idea of the state we were in,**

**I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,  
>And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,<strong>

**But don't you remember?  
>Don't you remember?<br>The reason you loved me before,  
>Baby, please remember me once more,<strong>

**When was the last time you thought of me?  
>Or have you completely erased me from your memory?<br>I often think about where I went wrong,  
>The more I do, the less I know,<strong>

**But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,  
>And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,<strong>

**But don't you remember?  
>Don't you remember?<br>The reason you loved me before,  
>Baby, please remember me once more,<strong>

**Gave you space so you could breathe,  
>I kept my distance so you would be <strong>**free****,  
>And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,<br>To bring you back to me,**

**Why don't you remember?  
>Don't you remember?<br>The reason you loved me before,  
>Baby, please remember me once more,<strong>

**When will I see you again?**

****The standing ovation that Rachel received wasn't a surprise. Quickly walking off the stage only for the rest of the girl besides Rachel to take it.

**_She, she ain't real,  
>She ain't gonna be able to <span>_love_ you like I will_**

**_She is a stranger,  
>You and I have history,<br>Or don't you remember?_**

**_Sure, she's got it all,  
>But, baby, is that really what you want?<span>_**

**_Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds  
>You made a fool out of you<br>And, boy, she's bringing you down  
>She made your heart melt<br>But you're cold to the core,  
>Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore<em>**

**_Rumour has it [x4]_**

**_Don't forget me, I beg  
>I remember you said<em>**

**_I heard that you're settled down  
>That you found a girl and you're married now.<br>I heard that your dreams came true.  
>Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.<em>**

**_Rumour has it [x4]_**

**_Don't forget me, I beg  
>I remember you said<em>**

**_Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds,  
>You made a fool out of me,<br>And, boy, you're bringing me down,  
>You made my heart melt, yet I'm cold to the core,<br>But rumour has it I'm the one you're leaving her for,_**

**_Rumour has it [x4]_**

**_Don't forget me, I beg  
>I remember you said,<em>**

**_Rumour has it [x4]_**

**_Don't forget me, I beg  
>I remember you said,<em>**

**_Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
>I wish nothing but the <em>best_ for you too  
>Don't forget me, I beg<br>I remember you said,  
>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,<br>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead._**

Mercedes, Santana and the girls nailed their performance, with the rest of New Directions joining them; they began to sing their final performance.

**Rachel: I've been walking in the same way as I did  
>Missing out the cracks in the pavement<br>****And tutting my heel and strutting my feet  
>"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I could call?"<br>"No and thank you, please Madam. I ain't lost, just wandering"**

Blaine: _Round my hometown  
>Memories are fresh<br>Round my hometown  
>Ooh the people I've met<br>Are the wonders of my world  
>Are the wonders of my world<br>Are the wonders of this world  
>Are the wonders of my world<span>_

**Puck: I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque  
>I <strong>**love**** to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades  
>I like it in the city when two worlds collide<br>You get the people and the ****government****  
>Everybody taking different sides<strong>

Finn: Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit  
>Shows that we are united<span>  
><em>Quinn: Shows that we ain't gonna take it<br>Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit_  
><em><span><strong>All: Shows that we are united<strong>_

**Rachel: Round my hometown  
>Memories are fresh<br>Round my hometown  
>Ooh the people I've met<strong>

Artie: _Are the wonders of my world_  
>Brittany: <span>Are the wonders of my world<span>  
>Kurt: <em><span>Are the wonders of this world<span>_  
><em><span><strong>All: Are the wonders of my world<strong>_

They won Nationals that year...

Xxxxx

"We did it!" Rachel shouted holding the trophy highly above her head with tears in her eyes,

"Fucking oath we did it baby." Puck said in her ear picking her up as she gave Artie the trophy and spun her around kissing her face over and over again.

Xxxxx

The group decided to go out for a late dinner in celebration and then back to their hotel rooms; Rachel and Puck in separate rooms as their wedding was the next day, getting ready in the hotel room; Shelby knocked on the door and asked Puck if she could speak to Rachel alone. Nodding easily, Puck continued to get ready in Finn and Sam's room leaving the two woman alone.

"Mum?" Rachel asked concerned when she saw tears in her mother's eyes even more so when Shelby ran up to her and hugged her so tightly.

"I am so proud of you Rachel." Shelby whispered.

"Mum are you okay?" Rachel asked.

"It hit me today, watching you sing your solo, the group number... If we didn't help you. If I didn't step up and not let you down again... my baby could have been dead." Shelby muttered looking her daughter in the eyes who had tears streaming down her own face.

"I am so proud of you for getting better, for fighting... for letting people help you. For marrying Noah, for everything that you have done and have yet to do." Shelby kissed Rachel's temple before touching her wrists, stomach and upper thighs were she knew her daughter had cut, "Never do that again, ever." Shelby begged.

"I-I promise mummy." Rachel mumbled sincerely with tears down her face. "I promise."

"T-Thank you Rachel, thank you." Shelby sighed and just continued to hug her daughter, stroking her hair softly.

Xxxxx

"So Brit and I have an announcement." Santana said getting everyone's attention.

"We both got accepted into NYU!" Brit screamed excitedly,

Now knowing that her best friend and her girlfriend would be living and moving to New York, Rachel jumped and and squealed in happiness.

"Oh my god! I am so happy!" Rachel smiled ear to ear.

"So are we, we wanted to tell everyone after the competition, didn't wanna overwhelm you Rach." Seeing that Rachel was close to tears.

"Oh shush." Rachel laughed, wiping her tears away as everyone congratulated the girls.

"Rachel and I got into NYADA." Kurt told everyone, Rachel had given him permission to tell the group, Santana and Noah already knew and that's the only people that she really wanted to tell.

"That's amazing you guys." Finn smiled, "I got into Ohio State, football scholarship." He smiled with his goofy smile.

"So did I," Mercedes informed Finn, "I'm happy that I will know someone." She said relieved.

"Sam and I got into Julliard." Quinn smiled brightly, "I guess we will all be living in New York bitches." Quinn giggled and laughed louder when Santana, Brittany and Rachel all hopped up to have a big group hug.

"Thank fuck I'll have another guy around." Puck told Sam giving him a fist bump, Sam had easily become his best friend and he would be lying if he wasn't happy as fuck that he got his friend to get to know the city with.

"It's gunna be awesome man. Quinn and I have already found this apartment, what about you and Rach?" Sam asked taking a sip of his drink.

"Yep, we have a studio apartment near NYADA campus and the police academy." Puck smirked, only Rachel knew about his plans to join the police force in New York.

"Your gunna be a cop?" Sam asked happy for his friend,

"Weird I know given that it's me, but I really wanna do something with my life; and what better way then protecting and serving.. not just sexually." Puck added not being able to help himself.

"Very funny." Sam laughed, "But seriously, you gunna be a kick ass cop, you've been on the other end; you'll have a heart."

"Thanks man." Puck smiled.

Xxxxx

Today was the day, Rachel was getting married. Nothing could wipe the smile off her face; with only Santana in the room with her to help her get ready and only Sam in the room with Puck to help him; the two soon to be bride and groom where busily getting ready.

"You look amazing Rachel." Santana said for the billionth time,

"You've mention that." Rachel laughed.

"I can't help it, you just look beautiful." Santana smiled as she did Rachel's hair.

"Thank you." Rachel said sincerely.

"Instant boner." Santana whispered in Rachel's ear like she had said when she had saw her in her dress causing Rachel to laugh.

Xxxxx

"You nervous?" Sam asked Puck as Sam fixed up his tie while Puck fixed up his own.

"Nope, ready." Puck said honestly.

"Rachel's an amazing girl," Sam smiled.

"Yeah she really is." Puck said thinking about the girl he was about to marry.

Xxxxx

The New Directions, Shelby and Beth, Will and Emma, Puck's mother Maria and his sister Sarah along with Hiram and Leroy were all at the park waiting for the bridal party to arrive. Puck and Sam's car arrived and Puck walked down it smiling at his loved ones as he went, he was nervous... naturally, he just couldn't wait to see Rachel in her beautiful dress. Greeting the rabbi, Puck introduced Sam to Rabbi Greensburg and sucked in a breath when he saw Rachel's car arrive.

Leroy and Hiram walked down to the car and opened the door and couldn't wipe the smile off their faces when they saw Rachel, she simply looked stunning.

"Baby girl." Hiram greeted her.

"Daddy." Rachel smiled, letting Santana get out first,

The music began to play, signally for Santana to begin walking down the aisle, after kissing Rachel on the temple, Santana walked down the red carpet on the green grass in her yellow bridesmaid dress with the bouquet of lily's in her hands.

"Don't cry dad." Rachel whispered looking at Leroy,

"I can't help it." Leroy told them making the other two laugh, giving Rachel a kiss on the cheek each, her father's helped her out of the car. Looping her arms through their, she began to walk down the aisle, never being able to take her eyes off of Noah.

**A/N The rest of the wedding will be next chapter along with the reception :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N I own nothing! I couldn't keep you guys hanging on... And you may noticed that I have deleted a few of my stories, the ones that I have deleted are the ones that I am 100% stuck on. Sorry if you were fans of the stories :(**

Chapter 30

"You look beautiful baby." Puck whispered to Rachel when she was finally standing next to him.

"Thank you Noah, you look very handsome." Rachel replied softly, before letting Noah take her hand and facing to turn the Rabbi.

After the traditional Jewish customs were performed, Noah and Rachel read their vows to each other.

"Rachel, when I look at you I see my happy ending." Puck began staring into Rachel's eyes, "I never thought I would be this lucky to find an amazing woman like you, but I am so glad that you gave me a chance. We haven't always gotten along," Puck said making a few people laugh knowingly, "But I have always felt this pull towards you, like we were destined to be together some how. And when I realised I loved you, I wasn't scared, because I knew you are it for me. To put it simply, Rachel Berry you are the love of my life. My everything, when I look at you I see my future, our future. A small apartment in New York while we are getting on our feet living off noodles, vegan of course." Puck added with a smile, "Broke but it won't matter because I will have you, I see myself there when you get the call saying you have got your first big break on Broadway, your there when I graduate from the academy, celebrating our first wedding anniversary, when you give me a son or daughter..." Puck said in a strangled voice trying not to cry, "When I look at you, I see everything that is good in the world and it makes me smile because I get to have you all to myself. With this ring, I will always be there for you, always love you, help you when you are feeling down, take care of you when you are sick. Better or worse, baby. Bring it." Puck smiled, as he slid the ring onto Rachel wedding finger.

"Wow," Rachel said with tears in her eyes, "Noah, to put it simple you saved me." Rachel began making Puck squeeze her hand a little knowing how hard this was for her, "When I was broken you fixed me and that would have been hard considering I was smashed into a thousand pieces, but you never gave up on me, never. You make me feel so loved and cared for, special. You remind me everyday that I can do anything and I can take on anything I want to because I'm me, and according to you I'm awesome." Rachel smiled, making Puck laugh; he says that little speech everyday to her before school, she's is awesome. "Like you said when I see you I see my future, through my rough days and my amazing days I know you will be there for me holding onto my hand, when I fall I know you will always catch me and I will always catch you. I can tell you my darkest secrets and know that you will never judge me, we are perfect for each other. The only person I want in the world to father my children is you and I can't wait to give them to you, you are amazing in everything you do, everything you touch; I love you Noah, forever and always." Rachel finished as she placed the wedding band on Noah's finger.

"Love you too baby." Puck smiled.

"I know pronounce you husband and wife." Rabbi Greensburg announced, placing the glass on the ground for Noah to smash with his right foot, Puck stepped on the glass.

"Mazel tov!" Everyone shouted as Rachel and Noah shared their first kiss as husband and wife.

"I love you Mrs Puckerman." Puck muttered into Rachel's ear.

"I love you too Mr Berry." Rachel giggled, laughing at Puck's expression.

Xxxxx

Making their way into the tent that was set up near the area where Puck and Rachel got married for the traditional Yichud for twenty minutes alone before the reception.

"Were married Noah!" Rachel beamed up at her husband excitedly.

"I know baby, Mrs Puckerman." Puck smiled at his wife.

"Noah, kiss me." Rachel asked breathlessly.

"Gladly." Puck whispered before leaning down and claiming his wife's lips in a loving and passionate kiss.

"Do you think we have time for a quickie?" Puck muttered against Rachel's lips.

"As much as I would love that, no we don't. Pus I want to look pretty for the reception." Rachel grinned.

"You could rock up to that hall in a brown paper bag and still be the sexiest thing that they'd ever seen." Puck muttered kissing the spot behind her ear.

"Thank you Noah, but the answer is still no." Rachel laughed.

"Worth a try." He smirked.

After kissing for a little bit longer and eating some food, Puck and Rachel made their way out of the tent and to the car that was still waiting for them. The other's had already gone to the hall where the reception was being held. Resting her head on Noah's shoulder through the drive, Rachel couldn't wipe the smile off her face, she was a Puckerman.

Xxxxx

"Please help me welcome for the first time, Mr and Mrs Noah Puckerman." Artie announced being the DJ for the wedding, it was his gift to the couple.

Walking into the room hand in hand, everyone clapped and Rachel and Noah could stop looking at each other with massive smiles on their faces, Puck walked Rachel to the dance floor so they could share their first dance as husband and wife.

_**After all these years  
>After all these tears between us<br>Still I couldn't find  
>Someone half as right as you<br>And each time I stop to think  
><strong>__**What it is I **_really_**need  
>Here's what I conclude<br>All I really need is you**_

_**Just say what you want to say  
>You don't have a chance in the world<br>Can I, knowing how I've tried  
>Still come close to losing you, girl<br>When you are my world  
>Have I spent so many years<br>Trying but in vain to tell you  
>Don't you know it's true<br>All I really need is you**_

_**How was I to know  
>We'd have ended here<br>Where we finally did  
>You tied you life to mine Once upon a starry night<br>And when someone asks of me  
>What it is that I believe<br>Say, I believe it's true  
>All I really need is you<strong>_

_**Just say what you want to say  
>We don't have a chance in the world<br>Can I, knowin' how I've tried  
>Still come close to losing you, girl<br>When you are my world**_

_**Have I spent so many years  
>Tryin' but in vain to tell you<br>Feelings come and go  
>Me, I'm never gonna ever let you go<br>Promise you I'm gonna always love you so  
>'Cause all I really need is you<strong>_

"It's still the perfect song for us to dance to." Rachel whispered up at her husband.

"Were it began." Puck sung gently in Rachel's ear making Rachel kiss Puck hard on the mouth.

"Love you." Rachel grinned.

"Love you too baby." Puck replied twirling Rachel around again sending her laugh echoing around the hall.

Xxxxx

After Rachel had danced with her father's and then Shelby, it was time for speeches and food.

"Best man is up first." Artie spoke through the microphone as everyone clapped for Sam.

"Okay so I'm nervous, but here we go. Puck and Rachel are perfect for each other. I never thought I'd live to see Puck settle down but if anyone could do it, I knew it would be Rachel. Hell I'm glad it was Rachel." Sam chuckled along with Puck, "Looking at these two it gives me hope for the future, love exists you just got to find it. These two were lucky and found it at 18, I hope that Quinn and I are just as strong as you in ten years like you are right now, and I can honestly say I know you two are going to be together forever. To Rachel and Puck!" Sam toasted lifting his glass,

"Rachel and Puck." Their loved ones shouted before taking a sip of their drinks.

Sam shook Puck's hand and kissed Rachel on the cheek before taking his seat next to Puck, just as Santana stood up from hers that was next to Rachel's.

"Puckleberry!" Santana began with a massive grin,

"Puckleberry!" Brittany shouted with a grin.

"Puckleberry." Rachel and Noah whispered to each other looking at one another.

"Like Sam said, these two right here; they are the definition of love." Santana stated boldly. "They make me believe in love, make me believe that anything is possible as long as you have that person who will catch you if/when things don't work out. Rachel, Rachel and I haven't always been friends and that is my one most regret that I didn't get to know this amazing, loving, caring person until now. She is my best friend, my sister and the one person besides Brittany that I trust with my life. She has been through so much and has come out stronger then ever and with a brand new family with her, because there is no way in hell that you are ever getting of me now Berry." Santana smirked, "And Puckerman, you are my bro." Santana smiled, "We have been through a lot and I am so glad that you two good your shit together and realised that the love of your lives where in the very choir room where you had spent so much of your high school years. No matter what anyone says Puck, you are a great man; and I can't wait to spend my golden years watching you two fall more and more in love. Rachel and Noah!" Santana toasted along with everyone else,

"Love you too Santana." Rachel smiled and hugged her best friend.

**A/N Enjoy :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N I own nothing! Sorry for the delay! SMUT ALERT PEOPLE!**

Chapter 31

"Remember safe sex is good sex! We don't need any Pucklebaby's just yet!" Santana yelled out as the two newly-weds sat in the limo; laughing when Puck flipped her off as he closed the door.

Kissing his wife on the lips, Puck smirked,

"I've got like 100 condoms and that's just for tonight." He leered.

Giggling at her husband, Rachel smiled,

"Your probably should of brought more." Rachel smirked making Puck groan and kissing her again,

"It sucks that we don't have extra time for a honeymoon, going back to school and all." Rachel pouted.

"As soon as we have graduated, I'm taking you to Cincinnati for a week; been saving since I proposed." Puck admitted,

"I love you Noah Puckerman." Rachel whispered against his lips.

"I love you too Rachel Puckerman." Puck smiled, pecking her again on the lips as the limo pulled up at the amazing and expensive Rachel's dad's paid for as a wedding present.

"Remember, we can get anything sent to the room, daddy's shout." Rachel giggled,

"Fuck yes." Puck beamed getting excited.

Xxxxx

Laying on the bed in nothing but his boxers, his suit hanging in the wardrobe, Puck waited as Rachel was getting out of her wedding dress and into something more comfortable, he hoped that meant nothing at all. Walking out of the bathroom Rachel smiled shyly at Puck's expression,

"Fuck Rach." Puck breathed out heavily staring at his wife in a red push up bra and match red lacy thong.

"Y-You like?" Rachel asked nervously, even though Noah had seen her naked before (obviously) she still felt self conscious when her scars where so out on display.

"Baby, look at my tent." Puck smirked laughing when Rachel went a little red.

"No-ah!" Rachel grinned,

"Can't help it, my WIFE looks sexy as fuck." Puck told her sitting up leaning against the headboard.

"Mhm, say it again." Rachel whispered moving closer to her HUSBAND.

"My wife." Puck repeated and moaned when Rachel grabbed his face in between her hands and kissed him passionately.

"Make love to your wife Noah." Rachel moaned against his ear.

"I love you." Puck whispered as he undid Rachel's bra revealing her perky tits.

"I love you too Noah." Rachel moaned as he sucked on one of Rachel's nipples.

"Oh god." Rachel moaned and gripping onto his mohawk pushing his mouth closer to her tit.

"I fucking love your tits Rachel they're perfect, but your pussy..." Puck trailed off thinking about her tight, wet pussy and moaned.

"Oh god Noah, please j-just fuck me." Rachel begged rubbing her pussy against his thigh.

"Gunna do this properly, first time as my fucking wife." Puck told her as he flipped her onto her back and kissed his way down her body and slowly took off her panties. "Fucking love your pussy." Puck whispered before he took a long, slow lick hitting her clit with his nose before he went all out, kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling on her juices like a dying man.

"Oh fuck Noah," Rachel moaned in pleasure as she lifted her hips into his face, riding his tongue as he slide it inside her pussy.

"You gunna cum baby?" Puck asked her when he replaced his tongue with two fingers.

"So close." Rachel mumbled as Puck began to lick her clit fast over and over again while pumping his fingers fastly in and out of her.

Feeling her clenching around him, Rachel screamed in pleasure as she came hard and fast around her husband's fingers and tongue. Not giving her enough time to recover, Puck pushed his boxers down and quickly slid on a condom before thrusting into Rachel before pounding into her hard and fast.

"Oh fuck." Puck moaned as he lifted her leg up and wrapped it around his waist sending him deeper.

"Right there Noah, oh god... please d-don't stop." Rachel begged in her lust induced phase before she came hard around his cock, flipping them over, Rachel placed her hands on Noah's chest and began to ride him hard and fast it wasn't long before she came for the third time that night this time sending her husband over the edge with her.

**A/N Short chapter but I'm off to bed lol r&R**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N I own nothing! I love writing this story :) It's so personal and I love it and I will be continuing this during their collage years, I am making it that there is a month before graduation.**

Chapter 32

Walking through the halls of the school with her HUSBAND on her arm, Rachel couldn't wipe the smile off her face; that was until Becca one of the girls from the skanks came up to her after lunch. Rachel was talking to Noah, San and Brit when Becca rushed up to her with tears in her eyes.

"Becca what's wrong!" Rachel asked concerned as she watched Becca's bottom lip trembling.

"L-Lola's dead." Becca whispered with tears in her eyes,

"W-what?" Rachel mumbled.

"S-she o-o-overdosed Rachel." Becca explained, both girls looked at each other before wrapping their arms around one another and burst into tears,

Lola was dead.

Xxxxx

"Baby are you okay?" Puck whispered walking into their room; he and Rachel were staying with Shelby until they moved to New York.

Staring blankly at the wall in front of her, Rachel ignored her husband's worried voice.

"Baby?" Puck whispered again.

"She's dead." Rachel muttered with zero emotion in her voice, "Dead." She repeated.

"Rachel-" Puck said his heart breaking for his wife.

"Don't touch me." Rachel snapped before rushing out of their bedroom, past Beth and Shelby and running out of the door.

Xxxxx

Rachel couldn't believe that while Rachel was at Nationals and getting married; Lola had passed away, apparently her mother found her in her bedroom with ecstasy pills scattered around her; the doctor reckons that she had a faulty batch; that the pills contained something more then just the ecstasy drug. Standing at the foot of Lola's grave, Rachel broke down... she shouldn't of abandoned her when she was getting her life sorted; Lola was hurting as well she should of stayed and helped. Noah and Shelby banned Lola from Rachel and for that she was angry with the two people she loved the most. Falling to her knees, Rachel sobbed into her hands unable to stop the tears as she grieved for her dead friend.

Xxxxx

"Rachel you have a song to sing?" Mr Shue smiled at the grieving girl.

"Yes, this is for Lola. May she rest in peace." Rachel mumbled trying not to cry.

_**There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold  
>And she's buying the stairway to heaven.<br>When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed  
>With a <strong>__**word**__** she can get what she came for.  
>Ooh, ooh, and she's buying the stairway to heaven.<strong>_

_**There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure  
>'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.<br>In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,  
>Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.<br>Ooh, it makes me wonder,  
>Ooh, it makes me wonder.<strong>_

_**There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,  
>And my spirit is crying for leaving.<br>In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,  
>And the voices of those who stand looking.<br>Ooh, it makes me wonder,  
>Ooh, it really makes me wonder.<strong>_

_**And it's whispered that soon if we all **__**call**__** the tune  
>Then the piper will lead us to reason.<br>And a new day will dawn for those who stand long  
>And the forests will echo with laughter.<strong>_

_**If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,  
>It's just a spring clean for the May queen.<br>Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run  
>There's still time to change the road you're on.<br>And it makes me wonder.**_

_**Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,  
>The piper's calling you to join him,<br>Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know  
>Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.<strong>_

_**And as we wind on down the road  
>Our shadows taller than our soul.<br>There walks a lady we all know  
>Who shines white light and wants to show<br>How everything still turns to gold.  
>And if you listen very hard<br>The tune will come to you at last.  
>When all are one and one is all<br>To be a rock and not to roll.**_

_**And she's buying the stairway to heaven.**_

As she sang the last note, Rachel wiped away her tears that were streaming down her face, Puck's heart broke as he saw his wife struggling and he was also worried that this would send her back to her old ways.

"Everyone thought Lola was bad news, scum... but she wasn't, she was troubled like me, but she had nobody to help her get better. I should of, I should of helped her and if I wasn't so caught up in my wedding or Nationals, she wouldn't of been dead." Rachel sobbed.

"Baby it's not your fault Rachel." Puck said seriously.

"And you!" Rachel yelled pointing to Puck and Shelby, "You told me and her to stay away from each other, while I was getting better nobody was helping Lola get better, she was just fending for herself, doing drugs, cutting and having sex with didn't love her or want her but just wanted a fuck." Rachel spat in disgust.

"Your right we should of helped her but it wasn't your fault baby girl." Shelby pleaded not wanting her daughter to spiral out of control again.

"She's dead mum." Rachel mumbled in such a broken voice that it broke each and everyone's heart in the choir room and then she just left the room, sobbing uncontrollably.

Xxxxx

"Rach." Puck asked softly as he walked quietly into their darken bedroom.

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered,

"Why?" Puck asked as he laid down next to Rachel wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I cut." She mumbled,

"Baby." Puck sighed,

"I'm so sorry, I just wanted to feel something! Ever since I was told that Lola was dead; I've felt so numb and I-I didn't know what else to do." Rachel sobbed into her pillow as her husband spooned her from behind.

"Talk, don't do this shit Rachel." Puck snapped, he didn't mean to he was just angry and concerned.

"I'm sorry." Rachel mumbled.

"Where?" Puck asked.

There was a pause,

"M-My thighs, I went over the first few scars that I had ever cut; I wanted it to be ironic." Rachel muttered with a forced laugh at the end.

"J-Just, when your feeling like that, talk to me please." Puck pleaded.

Rachel nodded and there was a long pause,

"She's dead Noah." Rachel repeated, it FINALLY hitting her.

"Yeah." Was all Puck replied as he held his wife as she sobbed all through the night.

**A/N :*(**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N I own nothing! I know prom is way before graduation in America but in Australia, the prom aka formal is the day before graduation, so I met half way and made it two weeks before graduation. **

Chapter 33

It had been two weeks since Lola had passed away and two weeks until graduation. Rachel still was having a hard time with her death but maybe the letter she was currently staring at that was on her table would change her mind.

"Are you gunna open it babe?" Puck asked his wife.

"What if I don't get accepted?" Rachel sighed.

"You will your fucking you, schools love you babe." Puck tried to calm her down.

"My grades haven't exactly been at my best, with my problems..." Rachel said slightly ashamed.

"Baby, do give me that look you are perfect Rachel, you applied for NYU your gunna get into NYU." Puck smiled making Rachel smile.

Grabbing the letter, Rachel ripped it open and carefully read the letter inside.

"So?" Puck asked about to have a fucking heart attack.

"I got accepted." Rachel whispered before looking her husband in the eyes, "I got accepted Noah!"

"Fuck yes!" Puck yelled lifting Rachel up and spinning her around kissing her soundly on the lips, "Your amazing baby."

"Noah, I'm going to uni!" Rachel grinned, "In New York City!"

"Of course, New York is your future." Puck mumbled,

"It was, you are now... my world." Rachel said kissing her husband again,

"I love you Rach,"

"I love you too Noah."

Xxxxx

As Puck spoke to Shelby in the living room waiting for Rachel to come out of her room ready for prom, he was nervous,

"Why the fuck am I nervous? She's already married me." Puck chuckled.

"Your ending high school school, it's normal." Shelby smiled both laughing when Beth ran out of Rachel's room as she insisted on 'helping' Rachel get ready.

"Noah..." Rachel whispered as she walked out in her purple floor gown dress, she looked stunning.

"You look beautiful." Puck smiled,

"Beth did my make up and hair." Rachel joked with a giggle.

"Good girl Bethy!" Puck beamed at her before turning back to Rachel and placed the purple lily corsage on her wrist.

"It's beautiful." Rachel mumbled.

"Just like you." Puck grinned, "Why am I nervous? We are already married."

"It's our last event before we graduate, prom is so important, my last prom was shitty..." Rachel admitted,

"Yeah." Puck sighed, "You looked stunning though, and this time you'll be going with your husband." Puck reminded her.

"My husband," Rachel repeated, she never got tired of hearing that he was her husband and she his wife.

Xxxxx

"You look beautiful!" Santana smiled at her friend as she and Noah sat down at the group table Santana had reserved at Breadsticks.

"So do you San!" Rachel beamed hugging her friend.

"Which one of you is the dude?" Puck smirked at Santana and Brittany.

"Fuck off." Santana snapped playfully.

"Yeah dumb question of course it's you." Puck laughed.

"Quinn, you look stunning," Rachel commented on Quinn's beautiful green dress.

"Thank you Rach you look beautiful too." Quinn complimented honestly,

"Thank god for you guys," Puck whispered to Sam and Blaine, "Chicks and Kurt are gunna be talking their heads off."

"Amen," Sam smirked,

"Does Rachel know about the plan?" Blaine whispered.

"No, so stop talking about it." Puck warned and Blaine just nodded and continued to eat his dinner.

Xxxxx

"I love this song." Rachel whispered as Noah and Rachel slow danced to the song that Blaine was singing.

"Yeah," Puck mumbled as he listened to the song that was being sung.

_**When you feel all alone  
>And the world has turned its back on you<br>Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild **__**heart**__**  
>I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you<br>It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold  
>When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore<strong>_

_**Let me be the one you call  
>If you jump I'll break your fall<br>Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
>If you need to fall apart<br>I can mend a broken heart  
>If you need to crash then crash and burn<br>You're not alone**_

_**When you feel all alone  
>And a loyal friend is hard to find<br>You're caught in a one way street  
>With the monsters in your head<br>When hopes and dreams are far away and  
>You feel like you can't face the day<strong>_

_**Let me be the one you call  
>If you jump I'll break your fall<br>Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
>If you need to fall apart<br>I can mend a broken heart  
>If you need to crash then crash and burn<br>You're not alone**_

_**'Cause there has always been heartache and pain  
>And when it's over you'll breathe <strong>__**again**__**  
>You'll breath again<strong>_

_**When you feel all alone  
>And the world has turned its back on you<br>Give me a moment please  
>To tame your wild wild heart<strong>_

_**Let me be the one you call  
>If you jump I'll break your fall<br>Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
>If you need to fall apart<br>I can mend a broken heart  
>If you need to crash then crash and <strong>__**burn**__**  
>You're not alone<strong>_

_****_"I'll always be there for you baby, always." Puck told her sincerely.

"I know Noah, and I'll always have your back... I promise." Rachel vowed.

Xxxxx

After a few hours dancing, laughing and talking with their friends; Principal Figgins walked onto the stage to announce the Prom King and Queen.

"Prom King is, Noah Puckerman." Principal Figgins said into the microphone and everyone began to cheer, Rachel being the loudest from the crowd.

"And Prom Queen is... Rachel Berry."

Everyone cheered and clapped for Rachel who stood frozen in the crowd before making her way up to the stage were Figgins placed the beautiful tiara on her head before stepping back as Puck and Rachel shared a kiss.

"I wasn't even nominated." Rachel stuttered.

"Between the football guys, cheerio's, the glee club... and Lola's friends, we made you our Queen." Puck informed Rachel.

"I-I never thought I'd ever be Prom Queen.." Rachel smiled nervously.

"I never thought I'd ever luck in and marry the love of my life at 18, dreams come baby."

"And now the Queen and King will share their first dance." Rachel heard Principal Figgins say over the microphone,

"Feels like our wedding." Rachel mumbled as she linked her arms around Noah's neck and Noah placed his arms on her hips as they danced to Santana and Brittany singing 'I've had the time of my life'.

**A/N Nawww**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N I own nothing! Graduation baby!**

Chapter 34

"Rachel." Puck whispered as he cuddled his wife in their bed at around 7am.

"Noah." Rachel whispered back with excitement in her voice.

"We are fucking graduating today!" Puck smirked unable to hide his excitement.

"I know Noah, two more months and we'll be in New York! Unpacking and relaxing a month before school starts up." Rachel giggled,

"Morning sex?" Puck asked almost pleaded.

"Morning sex." Rachel agreed giggling when Noah rolled her over and pinned her down kissing her neck... Today was gunna be a great day.

XXXXX

"Can you believe we are graduating today?" Santana shouted at Rachel as they walked towards the auditorium where the event would be happening.

"It's fucking packed in there." Puck told all the glee club as the Senior's made their ways to the back of the stage.

"Noah I'm nervous." Rachel admitted to her husband.

"Why babe you got nothing to be nervous about." Puck asked holding onto Rachel's hand,

"I know, I guess... I just can't believe I'm here, I've come really far haven't I?" Rachel asked proud of herself.

"Yes, you have baby and so have I, thanks to you." Puck bent down and kissed his wife just as Principal Figgins asked the class of 2012 to join him on stage, they walked to their seats that were behind the podium were the principal was standing, Noah and Rachel next to each other as they were both Puckerman's after all.

Being senior class president, Brittany gave a speech, as well as Santana who was Valedictorian much to everyone's surprise except Rachel's. Apparently, the prom Queen has to make a speech as well, something Rachel was not told hence why she was currently making this all up on the fly.

"Senior year," Rachel breathed out, "Wow." Rachel chuckled making a few others do the same, "If someone told me at the start of this year that this is what my life would be like at the end of the year I wouldn't of believed them, it would of sounded to perfect. I never thought I'd move in with my biological mother aka Miss Corcron to all of you guys, I never thought I'd have my ex-tormentors as my best friends," Rachel turned and smiled at Brittany, Santana and Quinn, "And I defiantly wouldn't believe you if you told me I would be married to Noah Puckerman, but I'm glad. So glad and happy, but it wasn't always like that. I had the worst six months, but because of 15 amazing people sitting behind me, I'm here, alive and graduating! Principal Figgins told me to speak about my senior year and my plans for after so here they are, my senior year was everything I could want and so much more, and my plans for after... I'm moving to New York City with my husband and best friends, attending NYU and the next time you guys see me; my name will be up in lights on a Broadway theatre." Rachel beamed, so very proud of herself. "I wish every single one of my fellow classmates nothing but success and happiness in their lives, Mazel Tov!" Rachel shouted, Noah repeating it along with the few other Jewish people sitting in the audience and everyone clapped,

"I know give you, McKinley's class of 2012!" Mr Figgins smiled brightly and ducked out of the way when everyone's caps went flying up into the air.

XXXXX

The after party was at Brittany's house, Rachel and Noah were getting ready when Shelby knocked on their door.

"Come in." Puck yelled,

"Hey guys," Shelby grinned, "High school grads." Shelby laughed making Puck and Rachel laugh.

"Thanks mum," Rachel smiled hugging her mother tightly.

"I have never been prouder." Shelby smiled,

"Thank you."

"So I have a surprise for you." Shelby announced,

"Yes?" Puck asked pulling Rachel into his lap while they sat on their bed.

"Beth and I are moving to New York, I got offered a full time teaching job at the performing arts school NYADA." Shelby beamed.

"Oh my god mum! That's the BEST performing arts school in the country!" Rachel shouted, so happy for her mother hugging her tightly both jumping up and down.

"Congrats." Puck smirked watching the two woman go nuts.

"That's not all. I showed one of the higher ups a video of you performing; with your grades and your amazing voice, you got accepted baby girl." Shelby beamed.

"What?" Rachel asked nearly in tears, "That's all I've ever wanted, everyone whose successful on Broadway has gone to that school." Rachel managed out.

"I know, they only had to listen to 20 seconds of you singing 'Don't Rain on my Parade' before they accepted you." Shelby beamed.

Rachel's face went blank for a second before she began screaming, jumping up and down and flung herself into Noah's lap sending them toppling off the bed,

"I'm in! Noah, I have a really good chance of Broadway!" Rachel beamed.

"You already did, with or without NYADA, I'm so proud of you baby." Puck smiled sincerely, kissing his wife.

"Thank you so much mum." Rachel smiled, her arms wrapped around Noah's arms as she looked at her mum, "Thank you."

"Any thing for you, I didn't do anything any ways, your talent got you that spot, they only accept the best."

XXXXX

Arriving back from Brittany's party, Rachel and Puck were both drunk and very horny.

"Noah," Rachel moaned as he began to lick her pussy, thrusting his tongue deep inside of her until she was arching up against his face. "Oh fuck."

"You like that?" Puck mumbled as he replaced his tongue with two fingers and pumped slowly in and out of her dripping pussy.

"God yes, Noah so much." Rachel moaned,

"You wanna cum?" Puck smirked against her thigh as he placed soft kisses there.

"So much, Oh fuck." Rachel moaned loudly as Puck thrusted his fingers in and out so fast that all you could hear was wet skins hitting wet skins, licking at her clit; it didn't take long until Rachel fell apart under her husband, as Puck drank everything she had to offer, he removed his pants and grabbed a condom and thrusted his aching cock deep inside of her.

"Fuck baby so tight," Puck moaned and he lifted her legs placing them on his shoulders and began to pound into her fastly and hotly.

"Right there Noah, oh god please d-don't stop, p-please." Rachel begged as she rubbed her clit in fast, sloppy circles wanting to cum so badly.

"I can't wait to fuck you everywhere in our apartment, on the bed, shower, kitchen; just in the middle of the lounge room. Hearing you moan and cum around my cock in every single inch of house." Puck panted into her ear, "Cum for me Rachel, cum around my cock." Puck groaned as he felt her pussy clamping down around his dick and came sending Noah over the edge with her.

"Fuck I love you." Puck groaned when he had come back from the bathroom adjoining their room where he threw away the condom.

"I love you too Noah." Rachel mumbled already falling asleep.

**A/N Reviews :)**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N I own nothing! So this is the last chapter for 'A broken diva'. I am not sure whether I will write a sequel because this story to me any ways is perfect and I don't want to ruin it. This has been such a personal story and your support has been overwhelming I really do love you guys :)**

Chapter 35

Looking at herself in the mirror, Rachel traced over her scars that covered her small body. Ten months ago, her life was at breaking point, she felt like she had nobody, no friends, no parents and no love of her life. So she turned to drugs, alcohol and that damn razor blade. As she continued to stare at her scars, tracing them softly and gently like Noah did every time he thought she was about to relapse, she couldn't help but smile, her life was so not the same as it was when she began to self harm. She had friends, amazing friends in fact, three best friends Quinn, Brittany and most importantly Santana and she didn't know what she'd do with out them, she had parents again three of them, she never thought that Shelby and her would be close but life behold it was meant to be, she even has a sibling. Beth, that little girl helped save her life and for that she would always hold a very special place in Rachel's heart, always. Then there's Noah. She closed her eyes when she thought of her husband, she was so lucky to find her true love at 18 years old how many people could say the same? He was perfect, he was her every thing. He had picked her up when she was broken into a million little pieces, as Santana refers to it as her 'Broken Diva' days, a polite way of saying Rachel was a hot damn mess. He still loves her and finds her sexy even with her scars and emotional issues that are still there because everyone who has ever had depression knows it just doesn't go away in an instant. She's said it before and she'll say it again, to her, Noah was her hero because he never, ever gave up on her. Pulling herself from her thoughts, Rachel turned to look at her very empty room and house for that matter, Shelby and Beth were already in New York but she and Noah had a few last things to finalise before they could make the long drive from Lima to New York.

"You ready baby?" Puck asked her wrapping his arms around his wife's waist.

"Yeah, I am ready to start our lives together Noah." Rachel admitted leaning back into Puck's embrace as he hugged her.

Kissing her temple Puck hummed in agreement.

"Let's get this show on the road." Puck suggested, kissing Rachel quickly before walking out of the house with Rachel behind him, closing and locking the door Rachel headed to Noah's truck (which he refused to get rid of) to begin the 12 hour drive.

XXXXX

As Rachel and Puck passed Mansfield Ohio, Rachel grinned over at Noah.

"We are nearly out of Ohio baby."

"I know it's fucking awesome." Puck smirked, laying his hand on Rachel's thigh, "I can't wait to fuck you in another state." Puck said waggling his eyebrows.

"Noah!" Rachel astonished with a smile,

"What you hot and your my wife we are totally about board."

"What were we when we weren't married?" Rachel questioned.

"Living in sin baby, nothing wrong with that."

"Your a pig."

"Oink." Puck laughed, laughing louder when Rachel attempted to hit him hard,

Looking at each other, well Rachel looking at Noah cuz you know Puck was driving and all, Rachel kissed his cheek.

"I love you Noah."

"Love you too baby."

XXXXX

When they drove past the state boarder of Ohio into Pennsylvania, Puck had to pull over. He and Rachel totally fucked in the rest room just passed the boarder...

XXXXX

"I can't believe we did that." Rachel said laughing loudly in the cab a few hours back into their drive after their quick stop and fuck.

"Yes you can baby." Puck grinned.

There was a pause,

"Is it bad that I wasn't surprised even in the slightest?" Rachel giggled.

"Your my wife and with a husband like mine, it would be wrong if you did think that was bad." Puck reasoned with her.

"Guess your right." Rachel agreed, resting her head on Noah's shoulder as he drove.

XXXXX

When they reached Pittsburgh, Rachel demanded that they pull over and get some food, she was starving and she couldn't drive another mile (even though she wasn't driving Puck reminded her) until they stopped for food. Wanting to please his wife and because he was fucking starved he agreed easily.

XXXXX

"So with Quinn at Yale and Brit and San at NYU we should be able to keep up with them very easily." Rachel told her husband as they drove a few hours past Pittsburgh she had her map out and everything marking shit down.

"Baby they could be living in LA and you four would all be best friends." Puck told his wife as he ate some chips that he stocked up on in Pittsburgh.

"I know but, w-what if they don't want to be friend any more. I mean we aren't in high school any more." Rachel admitted in a whisper. She was terrified that being in collage would keep them apart.

"Baby." Puck cooed, interlacing their hands, "San fucking LOVES you Rachel like seriously, your her family and there is no way she is gunna not be your friend because she'll be talking to different people in collage. Brit, she adores the ground you walk on and Quinn, she wouldn't trade you in for anything in the world. They might meet new people just like you will but at the end of the day you four will always be best buds." Puck reassured his wife.

"Your not just telling me this to make me feel better?" Rachel pouted.

"I don't lie to Rachel, I know that like every god damn weekend I will have to compromise with those three woman to actually spend time with my wife." Puck told her.

"I'll always make time for you." Rachel said seriously. "Your my husband, and as a wife it's my duty." Rachel purred in her sex voice.

"Baby, we have no where to stop." Puck said his time to pout.

"Ever heard of road head?" Rachel grinned sliding over and unzipping and up buttoning his jeans and pulling his soft cock out of his jeans, licking her lips as she eyes his cock.

"Best. Wife. Ever." Puck grinned before moaning as Rachel began to lip the head, moaning herself at his taste.

Licking him like a lollipop, Rachel slid his cock down her throat, Puck thrusted up into her mouth loving her lack of gag reflex and tried to keep his eyes on the road and not look down or close them (which for the record he deserves a fucking medal for being able to do so). As Rachel got on her knees on the floor of the truck, she used her hand to pump the base while she sucked hard on the head of his rock hard cock and began to play with her clit, she always got turned on when she was giving him head.

Seeing what Rachel was doing, Puck couldn't stop himself from cumming hard into her mouth, while Rachel was swallowing everything he had to offer, she came herself around her fingers, sitting back in her seat Rachel grinned at Puck whose cock was still hanging out.

"I really love sex."

"Fuck." Puck moaned, god he loved his wife.

XXXXX

Going over the Brooklyn bridge Rachel couldn't help but smile, she and Noah were on there way to Broadway and the life that they **deserved **to build together and happy and long one.

**A/N The end guys, Rachel and Noah finally get their happy ending :) Reviews are amazing :)**


End file.
